i'm all grown up now, baby can't you see...
practice was fun tonight.
amy is my favorite person ever. heh heh.
WE'RE NOT 70 year old women.
i feel like i just want to lay down in my bed and fall apart.
and sleep for twenty-four hours and slowly piece myself back together.
i suppose it's just a lot of little things. but they seem like everything all at the same time. i hate myself for caring so much about something so small, but then i realize these things are everything to me. and point and laugh if you wish. i'm chosing to have one of my episodes. i'm like a drunk, on bad feelings. a 'casual drinker' of bad feelings, can stop when they want and suddenly chose to feel better, i however, am a 'drunk' and i can't stop for anything in the world.
i am not looking forward to this coming week.
this weekend we play nathan's team,
and i swear, i am so freaked out it's...crazy.
and this is two days before the game.
and then my brother's not comin' home for
thanksgiving. i hate everything. i think about that
and i want to cry. i miss my brother. like,
i hate it so much. it's just, i never get to see my
brother anymore. and when i do, i don't really get to
see him because my parents have to have their
jimmy time too. god forbid.
colleen...my best friend...i can't believe how i
effing screwed that up so bad. this situation
seems so surreal, like any second i'm going to wake up
and it's going to be monday morning and none of this will
ever happen. and then i won't have to watch this crap go down.
it's awful. i can't stand it. and i don't really care what any of you
think of this entry i'm just going to vent and you can say whatever you
want. i hate how insanely idiotic this situation is. in all aspects.
but then again logical reasoning won't do anything this time. i hate how scared i feel all the time that i may lose one of the most important people in my life, one of the few people who i know is always going to be there for me. and who i have let down, and should have been there. those thoughts just plain kill me.
and i just want to say thanks for kamilla and alan, you guys made me feel better about everything, and i'm hopin' i helped you guys out a little
bit too. i love you both.
and ly, i don't think anything could have made my day brighter than
the hug you gave me. seirously, i almost started crying in the
hallway. just because..i did...
on the slim sliver lining...
i'm GONNA GO SEE SPONGEBOB THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!
WOOT! WOOT!!!
with taylor on saturday.
and ben on sunday. :)
yeah i'm trying real hard to get as excited about that as i was a week ago.
amy is my favorite person ever. heh heh.
WE'RE NOT 70 year old women.
i feel like i just want to lay down in my bed and fall apart.
and sleep for twenty-four hours and slowly piece myself back together.
i suppose it's just a lot of little things. but they seem like everything all at the same time. i hate myself for caring so much about something so small, but then i realize these things are everything to me. and point and laugh if you wish. i'm chosing to have one of my episodes. i'm like a drunk, on bad feelings. a 'casual drinker' of bad feelings, can stop when they want and suddenly chose to feel better, i however, am a 'drunk' and i can't stop for anything in the world.
i am not looking forward to this coming week.
this weekend we play nathan's team,
and i swear, i am so freaked out it's...crazy.
and this is two days before the game.
and then my brother's not comin' home for
thanksgiving. i hate everything. i think about that
and i want to cry. i miss my brother. like,
i hate it so much. it's just, i never get to see my
brother anymore. and when i do, i don't really get to
see him because my parents have to have their
jimmy time too. god forbid.
colleen...my best friend...i can't believe how i
effing screwed that up so bad. this situation
seems so surreal, like any second i'm going to wake up
and it's going to be monday morning and none of this will
ever happen. and then i won't have to watch this crap go down.
it's awful. i can't stand it. and i don't really care what any of you
think of this entry i'm just going to vent and you can say whatever you
want. i hate how insanely idiotic this situation is. in all aspects.
but then again logical reasoning won't do anything this time. i hate how scared i feel all the time that i may lose one of the most important people in my life, one of the few people who i know is always going to be there for me. and who i have let down, and should have been there. those thoughts just plain kill me.
and i just want to say thanks for kamilla and alan, you guys made me feel better about everything, and i'm hopin' i helped you guys out a little
bit too. i love you both.
and ly, i don't think anything could have made my day brighter than
the hug you gave me. seirously, i almost started crying in the
hallway. just because..i did...
on the slim sliver lining...
i'm GONNA GO SEE SPONGEBOB THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!
WOOT! WOOT!!!
with taylor on saturday.
and ben on sunday. :)
yeah i'm trying real hard to get as excited about that as i was a week ago.