Happy New Year!
...since I haven't posted yet this year. *waves*
I can't believe it's 2013. Like...I was thinking about it and thinking about it and comparing it to all the "big things" that have happened in my life and I'm just like...really? It's been that long?! It doesn't feel that way! It's been 13 years since Y2k (which I slept, through, btw. I was 12 and did not get what all the fuss was about); it's been 8 years since I graduated from high school (and I have very little to show for it, but I don't even care. I'm surviving, I'M LIVING DAY TO DAY, PEOPLE). In terms of how I'm living my life it's much the same. I live with my Nana still, working full-time still (though in a different job), still single, no kids, and pretty darn happy about that. My mindset though is completely different. I'm universes away from where I was back then. Both times I was surrounded by people I considered friends, but I wasn't being myself. I was acting the ways I felt I should act, not just by mimicking the people around me but by using the entertainment culture as my standard for what was "normal". That's not to say it was bad. My friends in high school were amazing people, all of them unique and weird and fantastic. Maybe that's how everyone finds their friends, maybe it was because I went to an art school, I don't know. Even then, being weird and outlandish, I wasn't being myself. It took me years out of school, all those friendships faded away, and making my way by myself that I found my footing. It took me being alone to realize that I've always catered to the people around me. It was always about giving and changing to be what others would want around. The music they liked, I liked. The movies they saw, I wanted to see too. The clothes they wore, I wore. Finding my own identity didn't happen until I was in my twenties and didn't have any friends. (Though, that being said, most of you here were with me during that time, but I'm not a terribly extroverted person, even with blogging.) I accept myself for who I am now, and I don't chase after people anymore. I won't change what I believe or like to suit those around me. It kind of feels like I'm only just now becoming an adult and growing up.
*deep breath*
I'm feeling a wee bit introspective right now.
I can't believe it's 2013. Like...I was thinking about it and thinking about it and comparing it to all the "big things" that have happened in my life and I'm just like...really? It's been that long?! It doesn't feel that way! It's been 13 years since Y2k (which I slept, through, btw. I was 12 and did not get what all the fuss was about); it's been 8 years since I graduated from high school (and I have very little to show for it, but I don't even care. I'm surviving, I'M LIVING DAY TO DAY, PEOPLE). In terms of how I'm living my life it's much the same. I live with my Nana still, working full-time still (though in a different job), still single, no kids, and pretty darn happy about that. My mindset though is completely different. I'm universes away from where I was back then. Both times I was surrounded by people I considered friends, but I wasn't being myself. I was acting the ways I felt I should act, not just by mimicking the people around me but by using the entertainment culture as my standard for what was "normal". That's not to say it was bad. My friends in high school were amazing people, all of them unique and weird and fantastic. Maybe that's how everyone finds their friends, maybe it was because I went to an art school, I don't know. Even then, being weird and outlandish, I wasn't being myself. It took me years out of school, all those friendships faded away, and making my way by myself that I found my footing. It took me being alone to realize that I've always catered to the people around me. It was always about giving and changing to be what others would want around. The music they liked, I liked. The movies they saw, I wanted to see too. The clothes they wore, I wore. Finding my own identity didn't happen until I was in my twenties and didn't have any friends. (Though, that being said, most of you here were with me during that time, but I'm not a terribly extroverted person, even with blogging.) I accept myself for who I am now, and I don't chase after people anymore. I won't change what I believe or like to suit those around me. It kind of feels like I'm only just now becoming an adult and growing up.
*deep breath*
I'm feeling a wee bit introspective right now.