you think you're in control? well, I think you're crazy...just like me
don't you feel sometimes that what you feel towards someone is so strong, bordering on love and hate, that sometimes you don't even know which one it is anymore?
surely the negative aspects can't be love? but maybe it's all part of the package (after all, appreciating flaws can accentuates good traits...)? and it isn't really hate...but how else can you really describe something so strong? can't live with it, can't live without it. fuckin' emotions. katherine described it perfectly when she said that as we get older, our emotions become hazy, unclear, polluted...you don't really know WHAT you're feeling anymore.
and you want to remember the good that came of it all...good memories, the "love" part of it. but sometimes the ambigiousness kills you and you just wish something horrible would happen to spare you from dwelling on the topic any longer.
and then it all comes down to...is the juice worth the squeeze?
and then of course there is always your indifferent intellect that is like "woah, woman, chillll. it's called life."
another part of a dream, because I can:
Ross is talking to me on the phone while driving his younger siblings home (but I'm sitting right next to him, outside his car window) frantically trying to make it New York City so he can hang out with the gang who is meeting there the 16th. He says something along the lines of "Maybe there'll still be some beer left for me to eat when I get there." hmm...Ross doesn't drink beer...much less eat it. Then Ross was finally home, which was my old house in Charlestown. His dad came out to meet us, his dad being Michael from Lost (the actor also played Link in the sucky Matrix 2&3). His hair was streaked with gray, and he ran up to me all hysterical-like and shouted, "The muffin era is over! The muffin era is over! What is this world coming to? No one remembers what muffins are anymore."
Me: "Well...my old school used to have muffin machines. like, vending machines."
Him: "those aren't REAL muffins! what about big fat blueberry muffins? pistachio? MUFFINS."
surely the negative aspects can't be love? but maybe it's all part of the package (after all, appreciating flaws can accentuates good traits...)? and it isn't really hate...but how else can you really describe something so strong? can't live with it, can't live without it. fuckin' emotions. katherine described it perfectly when she said that as we get older, our emotions become hazy, unclear, polluted...you don't really know WHAT you're feeling anymore.
and you want to remember the good that came of it all...good memories, the "love" part of it. but sometimes the ambigiousness kills you and you just wish something horrible would happen to spare you from dwelling on the topic any longer.
and then it all comes down to...is the juice worth the squeeze?
and then of course there is always your indifferent intellect that is like "woah, woman, chillll. it's called life."
another part of a dream, because I can:
Ross is talking to me on the phone while driving his younger siblings home (but I'm sitting right next to him, outside his car window) frantically trying to make it New York City so he can hang out with the gang who is meeting there the 16th. He says something along the lines of "Maybe there'll still be some beer left for me to eat when I get there." hmm...Ross doesn't drink beer...much less eat it. Then Ross was finally home, which was my old house in Charlestown. His dad came out to meet us, his dad being Michael from Lost (the actor also played Link in the sucky Matrix 2&3). His hair was streaked with gray, and he ran up to me all hysterical-like and shouted, "The muffin era is over! The muffin era is over! What is this world coming to? No one remembers what muffins are anymore."
Me: "Well...my old school used to have muffin machines. like, vending machines."
Him: "those aren't REAL muffins! what about big fat blueberry muffins? pistachio? MUFFINS."