Fever (1/1)

[cold_queen_5]

Title: Fever
Genre: Television
Series: Haven
Characters: Audrey Parker, Nathan Wournos
Rating: R, mature content
Spoilers: 1x04- “Ball and Chain”
Summary: Audrey asked Nathan a question, and he feels compelled to answer.

Comments

[atatteredrose]

Once again you've given us a wonderfully rich story; full of brilliant insights into the characters, surprising illustrative details, and writing that proves fanfic isn't merely about the theatrical 'moving of bodies' but has a literary faction as well.

I absolutely love that the guy who 'speaks monosyllable' thinks in rich, vibrant language. The first section was so perfect that I read it, wandered off, and came back to read the whole thing. I was also struck by the subtle link between the necessity of him watching his environment closely - just to stay alive, much less seem normal - and his current profession. I hadn't put it together quite that way before.

There are a few places that could use tightening or rewording (aren't there always? *sighs*), just because the quality level of the piece as a whole is so high, but the one thing I'm having trouble with is the final sentence/paragraph. There's something off about it, tone and content, like it wants to be less long or less straightforwards or more immediate and personal.

*Goes back and rereads* I think my favourite aspect, and what makes me want to go back again and again, is how it the entire structure falls into that one moment after she's asked him the question. He's using these tools he's built up and thinks through what the question means and why it means that and why it was asked and what the answer could be or should be and finally, finally says something that's just enough and precise and true. And of course, the fact that this progresses them smoothly into a sexual relationship and is -hot- doesn't hurt either. ;D

[cold_queen_5]

I get what you're saying about that last sentence. This is one of those endings that I didn't know it was done until I got to that moment/sentence and realized it. (I thought I'd go into more detail, give in to full-on smut, but apparently not, LOL.)

I'm glad you like it, though. It is a little rough, I think I wrote it out in less than an hour and that's unusual for me because I do like to reread and reread and reword and whatnot.