(no subject)
I am sick of missing people. Everywhere I go there are those of you who aren't there and that becomes more obvious each time I flee. I am thinking about it now, leaving that is, and it hurts, because there will be many missed. Perhpas it is time for a conversation with someone that knows the brain better than I do, perhaps it IS time that I pull up a seat on the couch and let someone help me figure this out. I am 28, acting like I am 18, feeling like I am 48 and by the time I reach 30 I'll be in so deep that I don't know if I will ever be able to climb out. It is very hard right now not to just find a bottle and have a race against the clock to see who can achieve their goal first, me to the bottom or the clock to pass an hour...smart bet would be on me. Right now I am at the apartment and I am afraid. I am afraid that Natalie and Crystal are having a bit of their own competition, however I do not know those rules...nor do I like that there must be driving done afterwards. I will always worry. There are a few, very few, that I can call friend...I am sick of missing people.