(no subject)
writing.
song writing has been such a big thing in my life. ive been doing it for almost 10 years now and ive always found myself to be okay at it, and i have some people out there that buy my bands music that i guess think the same. but ive been really struggling with it lately. ive been trying to take things a bit more seriously with it. i dont want to be an idiot. 2 billion kids could come sing the lyrics and like the hook, but it wont make me feel any better about my writing. i appreciate it nonetheless, i really do, but i really wish i had someone i really respected as a writer to pick their brains apart, and basically ask have them teach me. i respect a few people i know as writers, but its on a different level. respecting someone enough to consider them legit and really actually loving their work are two different things. i really really wish i could take some theory classes. a band that's friends of ours has been playing a ton of shows with us lately, we're probably annoying the shit out of the region playing every show together while we're around here. its no secret that i love the one singers writing and always have. but they spent the night here one night and the next day we all went to lunch. at lunch i got to ask some questions on theory and shit and it really made me realize just how little i know about music and composition. by the end of our conversation, i was sorry i asked. it not only made me feel small, but made me totally doubt other musicians and friends that i thought were just fine beforehand. im completely grateful that he took the time to explain some things quickly, really, I am. but it totally smashed any confidence i had in myself as a writer, which in anything you do, if you cant even believe in yourself, no one else can.. and you cant even do it if you dont believe in yourself. since then ive been sitting and picking apart different artists writing and comparing it to mine, and the answers im finding aren't the ones i was hoping to find. with each writer dissected, i lose another chunk of confidence in my own writing. and then every idea i have (even though im using the same chord voicings, keys, and scales that exist for anyone elses disposal) just feels so small. no matter what i write or think up, it feels petty in comparison to some of the other things ive been picking apart and analyzing. as with most things.. i started a list for one in particular through comparison.
1. it doesnt flow as well.
2. its lyrically not as moving.
3. the hook grabs you much less.
4. repetitive. not in the good way.
those are just some of the notes i made on a song that any other time, i would have just written off as good and brought to my band to teach them, demo, and then either throw away or name. this makes me feel like a complete ass. it makes me feel like im just crowding up the industry for truly talented people. and then it disgusts me even more to think about anyone ive met who's not as far advanced as even i am that ive seen walk around with no shame at all, because, while they dont even realize it, they think they know all there is to know and criticize everything, when in reality they probably couldn't even complete the simplest task or answer the simplest question on the topic. i just feel ashamed. bored. boring. uncreative. i dont take things like this lightly. on one hand, i love using music as a form of art. just letting whatever spills out, spill out. but on the other, i really want to be able to harness it and control it, to get it down to a system in which i can write a balanced, well formatted song that would stereotypically be considered "perfect" by a vast majority of people. there's so many other shitty things going on in my life right now that i should be venting about (Example: i spent this morning with ben standing beside my smoking car in DC on I95 after sitting in traffic for an eternity...) but this just is actually bothering me more.
i think im going to look into some theory classes right now, really. i never want to be the dumb ass who thinks he knows everything about music but really knows nothing at all, just living cluttering up space and wasting everyone's time, blocking the people who really deserve the credit..
you really cant learn anything if you already know everything.
song writing has been such a big thing in my life. ive been doing it for almost 10 years now and ive always found myself to be okay at it, and i have some people out there that buy my bands music that i guess think the same. but ive been really struggling with it lately. ive been trying to take things a bit more seriously with it. i dont want to be an idiot. 2 billion kids could come sing the lyrics and like the hook, but it wont make me feel any better about my writing. i appreciate it nonetheless, i really do, but i really wish i had someone i really respected as a writer to pick their brains apart, and basically ask have them teach me. i respect a few people i know as writers, but its on a different level. respecting someone enough to consider them legit and really actually loving their work are two different things. i really really wish i could take some theory classes. a band that's friends of ours has been playing a ton of shows with us lately, we're probably annoying the shit out of the region playing every show together while we're around here. its no secret that i love the one singers writing and always have. but they spent the night here one night and the next day we all went to lunch. at lunch i got to ask some questions on theory and shit and it really made me realize just how little i know about music and composition. by the end of our conversation, i was sorry i asked. it not only made me feel small, but made me totally doubt other musicians and friends that i thought were just fine beforehand. im completely grateful that he took the time to explain some things quickly, really, I am. but it totally smashed any confidence i had in myself as a writer, which in anything you do, if you cant even believe in yourself, no one else can.. and you cant even do it if you dont believe in yourself. since then ive been sitting and picking apart different artists writing and comparing it to mine, and the answers im finding aren't the ones i was hoping to find. with each writer dissected, i lose another chunk of confidence in my own writing. and then every idea i have (even though im using the same chord voicings, keys, and scales that exist for anyone elses disposal) just feels so small. no matter what i write or think up, it feels petty in comparison to some of the other things ive been picking apart and analyzing. as with most things.. i started a list for one in particular through comparison.
1. it doesnt flow as well.
2. its lyrically not as moving.
3. the hook grabs you much less.
4. repetitive. not in the good way.
those are just some of the notes i made on a song that any other time, i would have just written off as good and brought to my band to teach them, demo, and then either throw away or name. this makes me feel like a complete ass. it makes me feel like im just crowding up the industry for truly talented people. and then it disgusts me even more to think about anyone ive met who's not as far advanced as even i am that ive seen walk around with no shame at all, because, while they dont even realize it, they think they know all there is to know and criticize everything, when in reality they probably couldn't even complete the simplest task or answer the simplest question on the topic. i just feel ashamed. bored. boring. uncreative. i dont take things like this lightly. on one hand, i love using music as a form of art. just letting whatever spills out, spill out. but on the other, i really want to be able to harness it and control it, to get it down to a system in which i can write a balanced, well formatted song that would stereotypically be considered "perfect" by a vast majority of people. there's so many other shitty things going on in my life right now that i should be venting about (Example: i spent this morning with ben standing beside my smoking car in DC on I95 after sitting in traffic for an eternity...) but this just is actually bothering me more.
i think im going to look into some theory classes right now, really. i never want to be the dumb ass who thinks he knows everything about music but really knows nothing at all, just living cluttering up space and wasting everyone's time, blocking the people who really deserve the credit..
you really cant learn anything if you already know everything.