(no subject)
This weekend has been one of validation and I'm not even finished with Saturday. I slept in until nearly 10, which is something I've needed because my mind has been playing games with me all week and it hasn't been very positive. I'm not sleeping well lately. At the end of the day I'm tired and I want to go to bed but when I lay there I just can't sleep. I'll just stare at my alarm clock and watch minutes tick away. Quite seriously I was awake all night the other night, managed to doze off for maybe an hour and then had to get ready for work. It's wasted time. I'm not out doing anything between 10pm and 5am. The tv isn't on, my computer isn't on, I'm just laying in bed awake.
So last night I turned off the alarm clock and woke up this morning whenever my body felt like it and it was pretty good. I called Jen Moulton first thing this morning. She got married today (the 11th). When I got ahold of her she was just leaving the rehearsal dinner. J-Sy was with her rattling on about something in the background. I told Jen I was happy for her and good luck but I didn't mean it. Not because I want to marry her or because I don't like who she is marrying. I just don't want her to get married. Jen was my good friend, now she's some guy's wife. I had a great dog once that my parents gave away to a family with a farm. I guess it's like that but Jen wouldn't appreciate being compared to a dog. In high school Jen was mine. I just need to grow up.
About that validation I was talking about. I finished a painting today. I haven't painted in a really long time but my sister went so far as buying me everything I needed to paint something for her while I was home and for one reason or another I never got around to it. I felt bad about that so I have spent the last week and a half on working on something for her, which I will mail to her soon. I hope she likes it.
Polyacko and I sorted out our differences and she assures me she will stop playing head games when I come home next time which makes me feel better. We put a foolish rift between ourselves while I was home and didn't speak to eachother for the last few weeks I was there. I'm sure that suited my sister just fine but I felt bad about it. The blame was mutual.
Wasn't that scene in Sin City, where Clive Owen and all those girls in Old Town shoot up Michael Clark Duncan and his mafioso's in that alley a good one? I thought it was. Amittyville Horror was stupid though.
So last night I turned off the alarm clock and woke up this morning whenever my body felt like it and it was pretty good. I called Jen Moulton first thing this morning. She got married today (the 11th). When I got ahold of her she was just leaving the rehearsal dinner. J-Sy was with her rattling on about something in the background. I told Jen I was happy for her and good luck but I didn't mean it. Not because I want to marry her or because I don't like who she is marrying. I just don't want her to get married. Jen was my good friend, now she's some guy's wife. I had a great dog once that my parents gave away to a family with a farm. I guess it's like that but Jen wouldn't appreciate being compared to a dog. In high school Jen was mine. I just need to grow up.
About that validation I was talking about. I finished a painting today. I haven't painted in a really long time but my sister went so far as buying me everything I needed to paint something for her while I was home and for one reason or another I never got around to it. I felt bad about that so I have spent the last week and a half on working on something for her, which I will mail to her soon. I hope she likes it.
Polyacko and I sorted out our differences and she assures me she will stop playing head games when I come home next time which makes me feel better. We put a foolish rift between ourselves while I was home and didn't speak to eachother for the last few weeks I was there. I'm sure that suited my sister just fine but I felt bad about it. The blame was mutual.
Wasn't that scene in Sin City, where Clive Owen and all those girls in Old Town shoot up Michael Clark Duncan and his mafioso's in that alley a good one? I thought it was. Amittyville Horror was stupid though.