Update Number 2
Get ready kids, it's Update Time again, & it's gonna be a craaaaazy ride!.....
Or not, whatever.
So yeah, bring on the bullet points.
*College : Acedemic ~ As a bit of a reminder, doing English & Philosophy, this year with a bit of Women's Studies thrown in, which, for all the lesbian jokes it causes me to have to endure, I absolutely adore. Last semester was Gender & Sexuality in Horror Cinema, which was basically watching a horror film a week & then going *insert outraged tone here* "That's Sexist!". Well, ya know, in a slightly more detailed & intellectual way. Anywho, twas immense, & I miss it dreadfully, but Feminism Today is really interesting & is helping me getting over that loss. Philosophy's going fine, the classes tends to be one after the other, which can kinda frazzle my brain a bit, but it's all good, & English is English, so I read & study what I want to & manage to waffle convincingly about everything else....all good, lalalalalaaaa....
*College: Social ~ Ah yeah, here's where it gets a bit...meh. Started off promisingly, made a good couple of mates, then joined the attention-seeking world of Dramsoc, where I met lots of people, all of whom are outgoing & a bit mad, & who were cool & entertaining for a while, & there were nights out, & it was fun....until the inevitable happened, & the girls realized Roe didn't really give a shit about them & didn't really like them (not in a mad bitchy way, or anything, just that they hadn't really made an impact), & they all joined forces decided to bitch & spread several rumours, which basically amounted to me apparently having slept with all the guys in Dramsoc by Week 5, or something. So, I became aware of this & found it all very amusing seeing as I was one of the very few (now only, I think) girls who hadn't even scored any of the Dramsoc lads. THEN, because I pointed it out, the girls decided to take this & twist it around, now claiming that I was not a slut, as previously thought, but an Ice Bitch who's so up her own ass I think I'm too good for the lads there....yeah, I dunno. It goes on in more detail, but basically it's all of that calibre, & not a bit sad. But through this I did meet a select few legendary people who I had (&am having) fun with, so it was all good - not great, but good, which is fair enough...
Until. Until stupid Roe had to go & get a crush, which leads us into Bullet Point Three....
*Boy News ~ (And yes, I am reverting to my tested "Use the third person when you've been so ridiculously stupid & need to distance yourself from the memories" technique.) Oh, & by the way, this is going to be VERY long & self-indulgent, so skip if you wish.
Actually, Roe had had this crush last year, when she noticed a very beautiful guy wandering around college in a very beautiful, arrogant "I'm a beautiful arrogant prick" kinda way. And so, when she realized that Dramsoc people knew this guy, she got them to introduce her...&, to her utter surprise & delight, it went fabulously. There was major flirtation, there was intelligent conversation, there were funny moments, insightful interludes...oh yes, it was going swimmingly. In fact, so swimmingly that it was kinda baffling as to why Roe & Beautiful Boy hadn't scored yet. But, ya know, it was just a matter of time,right? Wrong. Coz then Beautiul Boy decided to be stupid & reveal himself to be a nice guy & admit that he liked Roe. Baaaaaaaaad idea. Roe freaks out a ickle bit, & decides to play it cool. Very cool. Beautiful Boy picks up on this (kinda hard not to), & reciprocates. Very well. So well, in fact, that they get the point of blanking eachother around college. Which leads to Roe (admittedly hypocritically, but hey, it's Roe, the girl doesn't make sense) feeling neglected & demeaned, making her feel insecure, meaning she doens't have the confidence to approach Beautiful Boy anymore, even when she wants to, making it look like she's blanking him 24/7. But then, on nights out, they get back talking & flirting & agree to stop the shite & talk in college...but they don't. And the cycle repeats. Again & again. Until one night when they're vaguely discussing the whole scenario, Roe makes a joke about it & Beautiful Boy gets frustatrated & walks off, claiming that he "gives up". Not the best. He later comes back & apologizes, but it still plays on her mind a good bit. Again, good intentions are made public, none are put into action &....so here Roe finds herself. Knowing she wants to fix this, & knowing she'll regret it if she doesn't, but not having a fucking clue as to how to do it. Not the best situation, all round, really. (Yes, advice welcome.)
*Job Stuff ~ Yeah, still doing grading for the Institute, all's good, a bit stressful at times coz working for a couple of teachers now, but better than a real job, as I discovered when I got one of those in Fields jewellers in Dundrum for a couple of months, where I found I can flirt very well with customers & convince them to buy stuff, but that I don't get on well with people whose job it is to boss me around. So, problems witht the manager arised, they triied to fuck me over & break conditions of my contract (illegally, actually, I was very tempted to get all official & stuff, but effort of that), so I quit. Rather dramatically. And realized my grading job is amazing & I'm never giving it up.
*General Slightly Emo Introspective Stuff ~ Hmmm...okay, so basically I am in a better place than I have been in a really long time. Not that my insecurities have gone, but just how I'm dealing with them is less destructive, which has to be considered progress. This is gonna sound really stupid, but I think, with the help of my over-paid job, I've been able to get some kick ass clothes & am just generally really happy with my style & stuff, which is alz a confidence booster. Unfortunately, as demonstrated by the Beautiful Boy Incident, my ability to trust people & accept that they like me & to even consider having any vague notion of a healthy relationship-type-thing, or even something casual, still terrifies me to the point of complete loss of rational &/or sane thought. And this has had the knock-on effect of me not getting with anyone, which has dented my confidence majorly, coz (though I'll never admit it to my Women's Studies class), I do need a bit of male validation every now & again, just to keep me from falling into an emo "I'm so unattractive" abyss, which I'm kinda in at the moment. Not good. Funny that now I'm vaguely happier with my appearance, guys aren't....meh.
*Fun News ~ I got a car! Her name is Buttons. She is pretty :) I'm a bit of a stereotype,in that I'm a bit shit at parking, & driving in general, but I'm getting there, yay!
Okay guys, I promise I will do better at the whole updating malarky in the future, but this should buy me a couple of weeks at least, right??
<3