(no subject)
If you could change one moment in your past, what would it be?
My immediate instinct was to say, "I would have stopped Damar from killing Ziyal." And yet Ziyal's sacrifice, as senseless as it seemed at the time, was the catalyst for so much that came after -- so many things that the prophecies had foreseen. Would Dukat have gone mad and sought the Pah-wraiths, had Ziyal survived? Would Damar have come to understand that she was no traitor but the most devoted of Cardassian citizens in her efforts to help our resistance? If I had shot Damar to prevent him from killing Ziyal, what would have become of Cardassia later on, when he became the leader of the new resistance and sacrificed himself in turn?
How ironic that, instead of saying that I would change the past to save Ziyal, I think instead that I would change it to save her killer. Without Ziyal's death, so much of recent history might have been different that I can't even imagine it, but Damar's death was not necessary for the end of the war and the rebuilding of Cardassia. What a leader he would have made, once the Dominion was gone and the Obsidian Order's hold over the population had been broken. I would have an ally -- a friend -- spearheading the renewal. And things might have gone more easily for Garak as well; perhaps he wouldn't have felt it necessary to leave Deep Space Nine, though the work he is doing now is so much more important than the small efforts he was able to effect while he lived among Bajorans and Federation citizens. I've often wondered whether he stayed primarily for Dr. Bashir...
I wonder why Damar's death seems to have affected me more than Odo's departure. I suppose that I'd already started to let Odo go, since I didn't really expect the Founders' disease to be cured in time; and I also suppose that, deep down, I feel as though he abandoned me, choosing to be with his own people when I most needed him with me, after Sisko's disappearance and O'Brien's departure and so many deaths. Damar did not leave Cardassia willingly, though he gave his life for the cause without hesitation. I'm sure the Prophets, who see all of history as a whole, understand why his sacrifice was necessary; I wish I did.
My immediate instinct was to say, "I would have stopped Damar from killing Ziyal." And yet Ziyal's sacrifice, as senseless as it seemed at the time, was the catalyst for so much that came after -- so many things that the prophecies had foreseen. Would Dukat have gone mad and sought the Pah-wraiths, had Ziyal survived? Would Damar have come to understand that she was no traitor but the most devoted of Cardassian citizens in her efforts to help our resistance? If I had shot Damar to prevent him from killing Ziyal, what would have become of Cardassia later on, when he became the leader of the new resistance and sacrificed himself in turn?
How ironic that, instead of saying that I would change the past to save Ziyal, I think instead that I would change it to save her killer. Without Ziyal's death, so much of recent history might have been different that I can't even imagine it, but Damar's death was not necessary for the end of the war and the rebuilding of Cardassia. What a leader he would have made, once the Dominion was gone and the Obsidian Order's hold over the population had been broken. I would have an ally -- a friend -- spearheading the renewal. And things might have gone more easily for Garak as well; perhaps he wouldn't have felt it necessary to leave Deep Space Nine, though the work he is doing now is so much more important than the small efforts he was able to effect while he lived among Bajorans and Federation citizens. I've often wondered whether he stayed primarily for Dr. Bashir...
I wonder why Damar's death seems to have affected me more than Odo's departure. I suppose that I'd already started to let Odo go, since I didn't really expect the Founders' disease to be cured in time; and I also suppose that, deep down, I feel as though he abandoned me, choosing to be with his own people when I most needed him with me, after Sisko's disappearance and O'Brien's departure and so many deaths. Damar did not leave Cardassia willingly, though he gave his life for the cause without hesitation. I'm sure the Prophets, who see all of history as a whole, understand why his sacrifice was necessary; I wish I did.