(no subject)
Wow I just found something I wrote about five years ago. This was before my eating disorder got out of control.. I was still relatively *normal* at this time.. compaired to now at least. But this is where it also started to get worse. Keep in mind I was 14 so it might sound kind of childish.
"I feel as though my weight restrains me from many things.
I should'nt be allowed to smile or laugh.
I shouldn't be able to look sad.
I cannot look beautiful. Impossible.
I shouldn't be allowed to have as much fun as the skinny people.
I cannot love or be loved.
I have to just restrict myself. Become invisible.
Fade away.
Then, it's all good."
"I feel as though my weight restrains me from many things.
I should'nt be allowed to smile or laugh.
I shouldn't be able to look sad.
I cannot look beautiful. Impossible.
I shouldn't be allowed to have as much fun as the skinny people.
I cannot love or be loved.
I have to just restrict myself. Become invisible.
Fade away.
Then, it's all good."