Dear Santa: All I want for Christmas is...
... a new ankle. I just might get it, too. But news about that later.
I forgot the books I wanted to read in my truck, and it's late, so I'm just going to update and go home. I was going to update earlier when, while at a computer, the girl next to me turns and asks "If I wanted to day after twelve noon, like in the afternoon, I'd say PM, right?" I had to seriously stifle laughter, and restrain from explaining the origin of AM and PM (because it's a Latin thing).
So about the ankle. I got the results from my CT scan I had last week, and it showed that the two main bones in my ankle, the talus and calcaneus bones, are partially fused on the medial (inside) part of my ankle. The reason why it hurts is because they're fused in such a way that it's crooked, and the muscles are spasming to compensate and correct it, but because the bones are fused, they can't fix it so it hurts. What they can do is called an open-wedge osteotomy, where they go in from the lateral side (the oustide, under the ankle bone) and remove the existing tissue in between the bones (because they're not fully fused together) and fuse them together with two screws. It would be permanently fused together, but fused straight up and down, so the muscles wouldn't have to spasm to try to fix the joint. The procedure is between an hour and an hour and a half long and would be done at Botsford Hospital, which I'm not incredibly thrilled with. It would mean 6 weeks off my foot completely and then 4 weeks in probably a walking cast, then physical therapy. I would be out of work for at least 10 weeks.
I think about the pros and cons of this. The biggest pro is that the surgery would probably make the pain in my foot stop. If my foot didn't hurt so much, I'd be able to exercise and maybe finally lose some weight. I figure also I'm probably going to teach for the next 30 years of my life, I should probably get it done sooner rather than later. Plus I'm still on my mom's insurance. The biggest con is that I would be out of work for at least ten weeks. I was counting on being able to work to supplement my financial aid, which will primarily be there to pay my rent. It's not like mom can do much to help me out, although she's thinking of moving up north by May, where she won't have to pay rent and therefore could put some money towards helping me out. It also screws up my move-in date which isn't such a big deal but it's just frustrating because I was counting on moving in around Christmas. Also, since I haven't been employed at Busch's for a year, I'm not eligible for sick leave so I would technicall be quitting before my surgery and then apply to be rehired after I'm able to work. Which doesn't sound bad but I'm not guaranteed a job at any other store I'd apply to.
Deep down, I want the surgery because I just want the pain to stop. I've lived this way for so long, I don't even know what it's like to function, or go for a walk without thinking "I've got to take some painkillers" or "Where are the inserts for my shoes?" or "This is going to hurt later." The doctor said that this condition is genetic, so I was born this way, and I also read online that this condition commonly affects people in their second decade, which would make sense why it started to hurt when I was eleven.
I just don't know. But I should better decide sooner rather than later. I need my feet to work during the summer to support my rent and other expenses. Which, right now, my financial situation seems hell bent on destroying me entirely. And if I don't find $200 in the next week, I'm going to get my license suspended because of that stupid fucking driver responsibility fee for that ticket I got for not having insurance. That's by far my biggest problem right now. That and Dad not paying his fucking DTE bill that's in my name but that's another problem entirely and not something I want to get into right now.
I forgot the books I wanted to read in my truck, and it's late, so I'm just going to update and go home. I was going to update earlier when, while at a computer, the girl next to me turns and asks "If I wanted to day after twelve noon, like in the afternoon, I'd say PM, right?" I had to seriously stifle laughter, and restrain from explaining the origin of AM and PM (because it's a Latin thing).
So about the ankle. I got the results from my CT scan I had last week, and it showed that the two main bones in my ankle, the talus and calcaneus bones, are partially fused on the medial (inside) part of my ankle. The reason why it hurts is because they're fused in such a way that it's crooked, and the muscles are spasming to compensate and correct it, but because the bones are fused, they can't fix it so it hurts. What they can do is called an open-wedge osteotomy, where they go in from the lateral side (the oustide, under the ankle bone) and remove the existing tissue in between the bones (because they're not fully fused together) and fuse them together with two screws. It would be permanently fused together, but fused straight up and down, so the muscles wouldn't have to spasm to try to fix the joint. The procedure is between an hour and an hour and a half long and would be done at Botsford Hospital, which I'm not incredibly thrilled with. It would mean 6 weeks off my foot completely and then 4 weeks in probably a walking cast, then physical therapy. I would be out of work for at least 10 weeks.
I think about the pros and cons of this. The biggest pro is that the surgery would probably make the pain in my foot stop. If my foot didn't hurt so much, I'd be able to exercise and maybe finally lose some weight. I figure also I'm probably going to teach for the next 30 years of my life, I should probably get it done sooner rather than later. Plus I'm still on my mom's insurance. The biggest con is that I would be out of work for at least ten weeks. I was counting on being able to work to supplement my financial aid, which will primarily be there to pay my rent. It's not like mom can do much to help me out, although she's thinking of moving up north by May, where she won't have to pay rent and therefore could put some money towards helping me out. It also screws up my move-in date which isn't such a big deal but it's just frustrating because I was counting on moving in around Christmas. Also, since I haven't been employed at Busch's for a year, I'm not eligible for sick leave so I would technicall be quitting before my surgery and then apply to be rehired after I'm able to work. Which doesn't sound bad but I'm not guaranteed a job at any other store I'd apply to.
Deep down, I want the surgery because I just want the pain to stop. I've lived this way for so long, I don't even know what it's like to function, or go for a walk without thinking "I've got to take some painkillers" or "Where are the inserts for my shoes?" or "This is going to hurt later." The doctor said that this condition is genetic, so I was born this way, and I also read online that this condition commonly affects people in their second decade, which would make sense why it started to hurt when I was eleven.
I just don't know. But I should better decide sooner rather than later. I need my feet to work during the summer to support my rent and other expenses. Which, right now, my financial situation seems hell bent on destroying me entirely. And if I don't find $200 in the next week, I'm going to get my license suspended because of that stupid fucking driver responsibility fee for that ticket I got for not having insurance. That's by far my biggest problem right now. That and Dad not paying his fucking DTE bill that's in my name but that's another problem entirely and not something I want to get into right now.