(no subject)
Ok, so me wanting to go back to Tallahassee really badly earlier was an understatement.
I will do ANYTHING to go back. Right. This. Second.
RIGHT. NOW.
I get a call. I make plans. Yay plans.
Oh my God. The world is ENDING. Why? Because I can't find my retainer. DAMN! I forgot that this one thing would cause the world to end. My bad.
Hmm let's see. I check my bags. You know, the ones that were REARRANGED, and wow, who would have thought? I can't find anything. Go figure.
Yes, I have so much shit to go through that of course it couldn't have taken only 5 minutes to go through. Shame on me. Yet another mistake on my part. Yay!
Of course I didn't leave half of the things that I was supposed to bring back to Coral Springs in Tallahassee, that would be foolish. And I couldn't have realized this within the 5 minutes of looking for my retainer and not finding it because, of course, I have so much SHIT that it would have taken me longer.
Now why couldn't I find my retainer. Let's think about this long and hard. It's very difficult to figure out this reason. Of course I MUST have it here. Buried within all the shit I have. And of course I don't give a damn, I only want to hang out with my friends, right?
Of course my retainer couldn't possibly be in Tallahassee. How could it be? All the things I needed to bring back to Coral Springs I did, duh.
You know I've always wanted to go back to being the age of 12. 7th grade was SO MUCH FUN! I got to go out ALL THE TIME! And- oh wait. No I didn't I had a social life? Um, no.
Wow, tonight I get to go out with my-no. Wait. No? Yep, no friends tonight! Wow...yay 7th grade!
College...? Oh ya. I'm in fucking COLLEGE.
Wait...then why am I being treated...
So. I can't find my retainer, because in case you haven't been able to distinguish between my sarcasm, I left it in Tallahassee along with a shit load of other stuff I was supposed to bring back. Now what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Snap my fingers and somehow it will appear in my hands?
Yes. I did pack it. I said I did.
I'm sorry my bleach trays are IDENTICAL to my retainer...along with the damn case. Except of course they're rubber-ish. My bad yet again. Damn Kaitlin, you must be the most irresponsible person ever!
Yes. I know. I do it on purpose, remember? It's why I'm here. To put you through hell. I love it. I live for it. It's all I'm good at.
I'm supposed to make all the mistakes and make you pay for it. I'm not ever supposed to learn from them. Ever. What would be the point of my existence then?
What Happens Within My Span of Life
I am born.
I cry. A lot.
I whine.
I make excuses.
I make mistakes.
I don't do anything good.
I get into trouble.
I spend your money.
I spend my money.
I give you MY money to HELP you out.
No I don't, you take it and tell me you borrowed it after you spent it.
I make more mistakes.
I make even more mistakes.
I cry some more.
I disappoint you.
I make you angry.
I make excuses again.
I die.
Then, because you know me. I'm quite and reserved. I like to bottle up my feelings. I can never get my point across. Ever. I stutter and I don't make sense. Ever.
Let's think of a dam. I know I've used this illustration before. Well. Think of the dam as being me. Strong and able to hold beck the water. The water is my feelings. Well my dam is slowly crumbling. It's been a good defense system for the past 6 years. Holes shape and water seeps through, but not enough to ruin the dam. I patch up the dam and carry on as thought it's brand new. Patches can only hold for so long and when they're made again they become even bigger, as if telling me that patching them up in the first place was a bad idea. Big holes. Lots of water. In a very short amount of time. But, the dam is still up, I just know not to patch the holes again.
It has made me realized that I am SO tired of getting STEPPED on. STEPPED ON.
Maybe, MAYBE, if she could TRY to be a little more understanding of the DAMN situation. TRY, you don't HAVE to understand. But make an effort. Jeez. Maybe give me a bit more credit. I think I deserve it.
I. Am. Not. A. Child.
That doesn't mean I know everything. Duh. But it doesn't mean I don't know anything either.
I find it quite sad that I have a better relationship with my friends then with my family. Not just my mom. My FAMILY.
No offense to my friends I'm glad I have this sort of relationship with all of you.
It's all I have.
You're all I have.
I will do ANYTHING to go back. Right. This. Second.
RIGHT. NOW.
I get a call. I make plans. Yay plans.
Oh my God. The world is ENDING. Why? Because I can't find my retainer. DAMN! I forgot that this one thing would cause the world to end. My bad.
Hmm let's see. I check my bags. You know, the ones that were REARRANGED, and wow, who would have thought? I can't find anything. Go figure.
Yes, I have so much shit to go through that of course it couldn't have taken only 5 minutes to go through. Shame on me. Yet another mistake on my part. Yay!
Of course I didn't leave half of the things that I was supposed to bring back to Coral Springs in Tallahassee, that would be foolish. And I couldn't have realized this within the 5 minutes of looking for my retainer and not finding it because, of course, I have so much SHIT that it would have taken me longer.
Now why couldn't I find my retainer. Let's think about this long and hard. It's very difficult to figure out this reason. Of course I MUST have it here. Buried within all the shit I have. And of course I don't give a damn, I only want to hang out with my friends, right?
Of course my retainer couldn't possibly be in Tallahassee. How could it be? All the things I needed to bring back to Coral Springs I did, duh.
You know I've always wanted to go back to being the age of 12. 7th grade was SO MUCH FUN! I got to go out ALL THE TIME! And- oh wait. No I didn't I had a social life? Um, no.
Wow, tonight I get to go out with my-no. Wait. No? Yep, no friends tonight! Wow...yay 7th grade!
College...? Oh ya. I'm in fucking COLLEGE.
Wait...then why am I being treated...
So. I can't find my retainer, because in case you haven't been able to distinguish between my sarcasm, I left it in Tallahassee along with a shit load of other stuff I was supposed to bring back. Now what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Snap my fingers and somehow it will appear in my hands?
Yes. I did pack it. I said I did.
I'm sorry my bleach trays are IDENTICAL to my retainer...along with the damn case. Except of course they're rubber-ish. My bad yet again. Damn Kaitlin, you must be the most irresponsible person ever!
Yes. I know. I do it on purpose, remember? It's why I'm here. To put you through hell. I love it. I live for it. It's all I'm good at.
I'm supposed to make all the mistakes and make you pay for it. I'm not ever supposed to learn from them. Ever. What would be the point of my existence then?
What Happens Within My Span of Life
I am born.
I cry. A lot.
I whine.
I make excuses.
I make mistakes.
I don't do anything good.
I get into trouble.
I spend your money.
I spend my money.
I give you MY money to HELP you out.
No I don't, you take it and tell me you borrowed it after you spent it.
I make more mistakes.
I make even more mistakes.
I cry some more.
I disappoint you.
I make you angry.
I make excuses again.
I die.
Then, because you know me. I'm quite and reserved. I like to bottle up my feelings. I can never get my point across. Ever. I stutter and I don't make sense. Ever.
Let's think of a dam. I know I've used this illustration before. Well. Think of the dam as being me. Strong and able to hold beck the water. The water is my feelings. Well my dam is slowly crumbling. It's been a good defense system for the past 6 years. Holes shape and water seeps through, but not enough to ruin the dam. I patch up the dam and carry on as thought it's brand new. Patches can only hold for so long and when they're made again they become even bigger, as if telling me that patching them up in the first place was a bad idea. Big holes. Lots of water. In a very short amount of time. But, the dam is still up, I just know not to patch the holes again.
It has made me realized that I am SO tired of getting STEPPED on. STEPPED ON.
Maybe, MAYBE, if she could TRY to be a little more understanding of the DAMN situation. TRY, you don't HAVE to understand. But make an effort. Jeez. Maybe give me a bit more credit. I think I deserve it.
I. Am. Not. A. Child.
That doesn't mean I know everything. Duh. But it doesn't mean I don't know anything either.
I find it quite sad that I have a better relationship with my friends then with my family. Not just my mom. My FAMILY.
No offense to my friends I'm glad I have this sort of relationship with all of you.
It's all I have.
You're all I have.