first lit mag meeting.... Complete!
Whether it was a success or not will be realized next week, so I'm-a trying not to dwell on it. I'm definitely going to be trying to work on angles of arguments against coming by those who I "know" should come...
And also I really feel an urgent need to grow in my outreach capability as far as encouragement and... making it so I'm not intimidating or scary but more open like. But trying to be open can also be scary, even when one isn't trying to be open.
I got told I looked hot today in my grey-khaki, pleated, dress-pants (fav. non-pinstripe pants, does that mean I have a flair for flamboyance?) and my blue-grey-navy striped dress shirt with this collar which is wider than usual if it's not buttoned at the neck, which I rather enjoyed the feel and effect of, because it wasn't ridiculous like a ruffled shirt or like a 70's "Man-pimp" semi-open chested shirt, but it wasn't as straight-laced as an oxford-style shirt.
In any case, I was giddy because it was from one of the most unlikely of places (and I was able to verify that I wasn't being mocked) and so yeah... kinda interesting, but more I'm just happy because earlier that day I'd been made fun of for wearing pleated dresspants in the first place.
I mean, I didn't really mind the jokes about it, I actually liked Dusty's "Oh, so you've joined the football team!" quip, that was pretty funny... It's just so hard to understand whether a girl is flirting, joking, or just being flippant when it's only semi-mean and abrasive. And, I'm bad at picking up contextual things from body language...
I feel like an asshole too though, because I'm just so damn weak and powerless even to help others see their own way through things. It's annoying because I'll even sometimes feel like part of me "knows" what should be communicated it just can't say it to my conscious mind.
I feel guilty too for some untoward events that happened before we closed up shop after Mrs. Womack(used to be Ms. Kinner) left to go back and see her hubby-beastie or whatever she'll end up coming up for his new hyphenated title/noun-form.
(Noun, Norn... Separated at birth?) But yeah, I was trying to be moderate about things, but I still unleashed too much hostility and anger when there really shouldn't've been any and I don't know why I did. Perhaps the mood was infectious, which would say some things but also disappoint myself. Yet disappointing myself is no reason to throw out a hypothesis or data.
*shrugs* Time will tell, I'm definitely going to be thinking about what kinda writing activity we'll have for our first non-introductory/brief meeting...
The room was mostly packed though, which is pretty cool. Though there was some organizational difficulty... I'm hoping that some spirit and some organization can reach a consensus, but damn if people is persnickety. I mean, sure, I was dressing up today, but that doesn't make me "The Man."
Ah well, at least I only caught flak from 2 peeps. And I think that was more about some wording issues.
But y'know, As long as you don't try to kill me, I am open to feedback, even criticism.
Probably a better idea to have toned down some of the black(not the racial-ethno term) humor down a bit. Ironic humor was also a bit high for just the first meeting... I mean it is good for them to know we're not soulless, but I think we may have made some fumbles which would scare away people.
Fortunately I think we mainly had people of stouter stock than that.
Of an interesting note, apparently Matt Hopkins was actually so "hot" or "Sexy" or whatever in Creative Writing last year, that Ms. Kinner(now Mrs. Womack) actually said the lusting and hearts above the heads of the girls for him was palpable.
Which is, I think, pretty damn kickass to be able to do that without even making an effort.
And also I really feel an urgent need to grow in my outreach capability as far as encouragement and... making it so I'm not intimidating or scary but more open like. But trying to be open can also be scary, even when one isn't trying to be open.
I got told I looked hot today in my grey-khaki, pleated, dress-pants (fav. non-pinstripe pants, does that mean I have a flair for flamboyance?) and my blue-grey-navy striped dress shirt with this collar which is wider than usual if it's not buttoned at the neck, which I rather enjoyed the feel and effect of, because it wasn't ridiculous like a ruffled shirt or like a 70's "Man-pimp" semi-open chested shirt, but it wasn't as straight-laced as an oxford-style shirt.
In any case, I was giddy because it was from one of the most unlikely of places (and I was able to verify that I wasn't being mocked) and so yeah... kinda interesting, but more I'm just happy because earlier that day I'd been made fun of for wearing pleated dresspants in the first place.
I mean, I didn't really mind the jokes about it, I actually liked Dusty's "Oh, so you've joined the football team!" quip, that was pretty funny... It's just so hard to understand whether a girl is flirting, joking, or just being flippant when it's only semi-mean and abrasive. And, I'm bad at picking up contextual things from body language...
I feel like an asshole too though, because I'm just so damn weak and powerless even to help others see their own way through things. It's annoying because I'll even sometimes feel like part of me "knows" what should be communicated it just can't say it to my conscious mind.
I feel guilty too for some untoward events that happened before we closed up shop after Mrs. Womack(used to be Ms. Kinner) left to go back and see her hubby-beastie or whatever she'll end up coming up for his new hyphenated title/noun-form.
(Noun, Norn... Separated at birth?) But yeah, I was trying to be moderate about things, but I still unleashed too much hostility and anger when there really shouldn't've been any and I don't know why I did. Perhaps the mood was infectious, which would say some things but also disappoint myself. Yet disappointing myself is no reason to throw out a hypothesis or data.
*shrugs* Time will tell, I'm definitely going to be thinking about what kinda writing activity we'll have for our first non-introductory/brief meeting...
The room was mostly packed though, which is pretty cool. Though there was some organizational difficulty... I'm hoping that some spirit and some organization can reach a consensus, but damn if people is persnickety. I mean, sure, I was dressing up today, but that doesn't make me "The Man."
Ah well, at least I only caught flak from 2 peeps. And I think that was more about some wording issues.
But y'know, As long as you don't try to kill me, I am open to feedback, even criticism.
Probably a better idea to have toned down some of the black(not the racial-ethno term) humor down a bit. Ironic humor was also a bit high for just the first meeting... I mean it is good for them to know we're not soulless, but I think we may have made some fumbles which would scare away people.
Fortunately I think we mainly had people of stouter stock than that.
Of an interesting note, apparently Matt Hopkins was actually so "hot" or "Sexy" or whatever in Creative Writing last year, that Ms. Kinner(now Mrs. Womack) actually said the lusting and hearts above the heads of the girls for him was palpable.
Which is, I think, pretty damn kickass to be able to do that without even making an effort.