Betrayal Is A Symptom
i wish john didnt flip over something unintentional.
i wish i had ilissa's trust back and she now didnt despise me.
i wish people thought about there actions before doing them.
i wish i had the ability to fix things and i dont think i can now.
i wish people were always truthfull.
i wish people didnt make accusations.
i wish people didnt critisize how i felt about things.
i wish i could open up to people so they know how i truelly feel.
i wish i wasnt so insecure with everything, yet i am very good at hiding it.
i wish things were a little easier for me.
i wish i didnt have to wear a mask.
i wish that people would just understand, for a change.
i can honestly say that this sittuation has really gotten the best of me, and its one of the worst expieriences that i have to deal with.
i lost two of the closest people to me over nothing.
i really dont know how long this will last, or if it will end.
i wish i could just forget about it all, but it means to much to me.
i drank a quarter of a handle of jager last night by myself, and blacked out. it was real bad. i was mess.
Vic, Devin, and Buddy Andrew are the only ones really here for me with this all.
Part of me just wants to foget everything and say 'hey, fuck them all- screw it' but its hard when people really mean that much to you... it really is. I was talking to Cyd' about it the other day.. "the people who love you will love you regardless". i want to believe it but i dont know... Everythings so fucked up, and i dont really know why and if there is anything i could do.
i hate this.
fin.
i wish i had ilissa's trust back and she now didnt despise me.
i wish people thought about there actions before doing them.
i wish i had the ability to fix things and i dont think i can now.
i wish people were always truthfull.
i wish people didnt make accusations.
i wish people didnt critisize how i felt about things.
i wish i could open up to people so they know how i truelly feel.
i wish i wasnt so insecure with everything, yet i am very good at hiding it.
i wish things were a little easier for me.
i wish i didnt have to wear a mask.
i wish that people would just understand, for a change.
i can honestly say that this sittuation has really gotten the best of me, and its one of the worst expieriences that i have to deal with.
i lost two of the closest people to me over nothing.
i really dont know how long this will last, or if it will end.
i wish i could just forget about it all, but it means to much to me.
i drank a quarter of a handle of jager last night by myself, and blacked out. it was real bad. i was mess.
Vic, Devin, and Buddy Andrew are the only ones really here for me with this all.
Part of me just wants to foget everything and say 'hey, fuck them all- screw it' but its hard when people really mean that much to you... it really is. I was talking to Cyd' about it the other day.. "the people who love you will love you regardless". i want to believe it but i dont know... Everythings so fucked up, and i dont really know why and if there is anything i could do.
i hate this.
fin.