Active/Passive contradiction
I often feel my restricting type AN isn't proactive enough. I have to wait for my body to burn the calories I'm not giving it, rather than purging them through exercise or puking. Perhaps because I'm not a 'good enough anorectic' I've never been driven to over-exercise apart from when starvation mania demands activity. I enjoy exercise, I just dont feel compelled to do it. Is it an active or a passive disease?
The anorectic stays firmly in charge, has rigid self control and tries to cling to control in treatment. Yet still becomes weak - her will is over-ridden she's sectioned forced into treatment, starvation makes her unable to emotionally cope with life - did she do it to avoid adult responsibility? It's another one of these anorexic contradictions. Feminists cite the emphasis on passivity in feminine stereotypes and in many ways the anorexic conforms with this, and yet her condition stands in stark defiance of societal norms, she's passively aggressive.
It's a constant push and pull between herself and external forces they want her to change her behaviour (i.e. make her eat), she's already changed her behaviour to exert her own will(i.e stopped eating).
"Be strong, reconcile yourself with yourself, find an identity" but "take in this food, take in our therapy" - the anorectic only recognises open or closed - either she submits, all her defenses are down and she lets herself be (metaphorically) violated OR she maintains her boundaries, her limited sense of self.
I don't know if it even matters if anorexia is passive or assertive but it's been made an issue in academic and theraputic literature. I don't think it's necessarily explained by the feminist perspective - I get the feeling it's much more individual. It plays with the victim/empowered dynamic in all individuals, not just women in modern society. Some would make my disease political, I disagree because that gives it too much power. It's ultimately just a disease.
The anorectic stays firmly in charge, has rigid self control and tries to cling to control in treatment. Yet still becomes weak - her will is over-ridden she's sectioned forced into treatment, starvation makes her unable to emotionally cope with life - did she do it to avoid adult responsibility? It's another one of these anorexic contradictions. Feminists cite the emphasis on passivity in feminine stereotypes and in many ways the anorexic conforms with this, and yet her condition stands in stark defiance of societal norms, she's passively aggressive.
It's a constant push and pull between herself and external forces they want her to change her behaviour (i.e. make her eat), she's already changed her behaviour to exert her own will(i.e stopped eating).
"Be strong, reconcile yourself with yourself, find an identity" but "take in this food, take in our therapy" - the anorectic only recognises open or closed - either she submits, all her defenses are down and she lets herself be (metaphorically) violated OR she maintains her boundaries, her limited sense of self.
I don't know if it even matters if anorexia is passive or assertive but it's been made an issue in academic and theraputic literature. I don't think it's necessarily explained by the feminist perspective - I get the feeling it's much more individual. It plays with the victim/empowered dynamic in all individuals, not just women in modern society. Some would make my disease political, I disagree because that gives it too much power. It's ultimately just a disease.