(no subject)
Re-read Kate Chisholm's book, Hungry Hell. It's still one of the few ED memoirs I rate. I'd like to do a post some time about the articles online that irk me and those that I like. There's still a lot of dross and journalistic misunderstanding out there. Not that EDs are a subject that allow glib generalisation. I can think of thousands of truisms about my experience but I still can't come close to explaining it neatly.
Had a familiar dream last night - I was fighting off a man who was haraassing or menacing me. He just wouldnt back off or understand he was making me uncomfortable. I had to stab him in the end and he just kept coming back, like a terminator. I killed him eventually though and woke up just as I began to worry about disposing of the body. It's was a very fraught and violent dream but the whole time I felt no one was taking me seriously, that I was seen as being unreasonably aloof and self-determined. I'm ashamed to say I think this is how I think of my boyfriend. I love him so much and I know there has to be give and take in a relationship but I still want to be selfish and have ridiculous boundaries or get scared when things get intense. I need to explain this to him, I suppose.
Small bowl cereal (with milk!) - 200
Apple (peeled) - 60
Tequila - 150
410 :( No exercise, either.
Pizza (FFS!) for dinner. I'm gonna open a can of green beans or something. My parents treat pizza like polonium. They're the most carbophobic diet obsessed food freaks. Yet we had pasta last night. I think they've been posesed or something.
Had a familiar dream last night - I was fighting off a man who was haraassing or menacing me. He just wouldnt back off or understand he was making me uncomfortable. I had to stab him in the end and he just kept coming back, like a terminator. I killed him eventually though and woke up just as I began to worry about disposing of the body. It's was a very fraught and violent dream but the whole time I felt no one was taking me seriously, that I was seen as being unreasonably aloof and self-determined. I'm ashamed to say I think this is how I think of my boyfriend. I love him so much and I know there has to be give and take in a relationship but I still want to be selfish and have ridiculous boundaries or get scared when things get intense. I need to explain this to him, I suppose.
Small bowl cereal (with milk!) - 200
Apple (peeled) - 60
Tequila - 150
410 :( No exercise, either.
Pizza (FFS!) for dinner. I'm gonna open a can of green beans or something. My parents treat pizza like polonium. They're the most carbophobic diet obsessed food freaks. Yet we had pasta last night. I think they've been posesed or something.