I got it!!!! Maybe.
I've been reading Jungian interpretations of EDs. I'm a skeptic in general but I think it's interesting how I've had so many of the dreams described by other ED patients. Since forever. This page is worth a read as an intro.
I also was also forced to engage my brain when I read back something I'd written in my offline journal: It's not enough to want to recover.
This is the fundamental truth of everything I've been trying to figure out all these months of research and soul-seeking. I'm no longer guilty for failing at recovery and I dont think wanting it is enough.
(My ADD is making me make a note: say remind me to do a post about why I used to hate maudsley and like it now lets hope I re-read this. Hey, journalling is all about stream of consciousness, right....)
The short version I'm going to present here is that therapists have endorsed my desire to "draw a line under my problems" recover once and for all and figure it all out. That's impossible when you're ED'd by nature. You've got it for life, like the lupus I've just been diagnosed with. There are periods of remission but it's something you always have a tendancy towards. I cannot change my personality, which is anorexic. I almost want to write a book addressing this. I'm not pessimistic, I advocate lifelong remission but I also think a lot of the anorexic traits we are forced to fight in recovery are personality traits and I think it's better to accept people for what they are and help them to live than to try and change them.
Those of you who read The Chap might already know about this but Chap-Hop has it's first rap battle. Obviously I'm on the side of Prof. Elemental. He's by far the better emcee and I'm sure the reason we're still waiting for a videograph response from the comedy oik Mr B is his own lack of rhyming skill. Go here to get the lo-down. If you need further proof of my dear professor's Chap credentials or skills on the mic may I refer you to this video
I also was also forced to engage my brain when I read back something I'd written in my offline journal: It's not enough to want to recover.
This is the fundamental truth of everything I've been trying to figure out all these months of research and soul-seeking. I'm no longer guilty for failing at recovery and I dont think wanting it is enough.
(My ADD is making me make a note: say remind me to do a post about why I used to hate maudsley and like it now lets hope I re-read this. Hey, journalling is all about stream of consciousness, right....)
The short version I'm going to present here is that therapists have endorsed my desire to "draw a line under my problems" recover once and for all and figure it all out. That's impossible when you're ED'd by nature. You've got it for life, like the lupus I've just been diagnosed with. There are periods of remission but it's something you always have a tendancy towards. I cannot change my personality, which is anorexic. I almost want to write a book addressing this. I'm not pessimistic, I advocate lifelong remission but I also think a lot of the anorexic traits we are forced to fight in recovery are personality traits and I think it's better to accept people for what they are and help them to live than to try and change them.
Those of you who read The Chap might already know about this but Chap-Hop has it's first rap battle. Obviously I'm on the side of Prof. Elemental. He's by far the better emcee and I'm sure the reason we're still waiting for a videograph response from the comedy oik Mr B is his own lack of rhyming skill. Go here to get the lo-down. If you need further proof of my dear professor's Chap credentials or skills on the mic may I refer you to this video