love hurts...SIKE! it only hurts if you allow it to hurt you.
So, today I finally took the time to browse through my newest Seventeen and Teen Vogue magazines, (THE best magazines in the world, if I might add). There were two articles that I really found enlightening and frightening at the same time...
The first one was about overcoming break-up's, which I found enlightening since I'm currently going through one myself. It gave a lot of good advice on how to deal with a break-up and things that help you overcome it and move on. While I haven't really been feeling "depressed" or "sad" about my most recent break-up, I just have a feeling those feelings will eventually surface. Then again, maybe not. I don't really know, because it is new to, after two years, be "just me" and not "me and him." I mean, I've felt completely happy and in charge with my life lately and I seriously love that feeling. I'm not even concerned about having a boyfriend in my life. (Okay, so maybe I am about 30%, but it's nothing major). I love the feeling of every decision, every choice, every action, all being for me. Maybe that sounds a little selfish to some people, but I've been spending the past two years trying to please not only me, but my "other half" as well, and I am in much need and desire for some complete pleasure of MYSELF. Plus, I mean, I can't really sit here and say that I can fully be a wonderful girlfriend until I completely figure out myself and become happy with that...and I am a very complex, confusing, girl, so who knows how freakin' long it could be until I even achieve this! But enough about that...
This bringing me on to the next article. Underage marriage. This almost horrified me. I started thinking of how I was almost in this situation. I mean, I didn't have a ring or anything, but we talked about it quite frequently. I have realized lately that I am in no position to be marrying anyone at this point. I have barely figured out how to handle myself let alone figuring out how to handle myself and someone else. It just seems like chaos to me. I had an original plan of never getting married and adopting my own beautiful Japanese girl. I suppose I could still go back to that plan? However, I've chosen not to even think about these thoughts anymore for a very long time. Of course, it's wonderful to be in love and to have someone who cares about you, but it's also completely wonderful, (and necessary), to be in love with yourself.
Gheeze....enough about love for now!!!
Wanna know what has been completely over-exciting me lately? The fact that I've finally gotten my own apartment. Yes, me...living on my own in a place that's ALL mine. (Well, of course I'll be sharing it with my bff Jason, but we seriously haven't done anything without each other in a good 6 years, so it's not like that's really a big deal.) I think I've told just about everyone I know at least 10 times about me getting my place and probably 20+ times about how excited I am about it! I've already been decorating the whole place in my head and seriously, it's the most exciting event I've had so far in my life. Not only am I looking forward to the independence and the decorating, but it's also a new step in my life and my ticket out of this "whole-in-the-wall" hick town! I think I've been ready to move away from here since I was, about, 5 years old? Something like that. It's just not for me and when I leave I will probably only talk to 5% or less of the people that I currently coincide with. I just have no REAL ties with anyone here and I've yet to meet (with the exception of one) a person who fully understands and likes me for ME. It's like a circus here. Everyone wears disguises to hide who they really are and it's like they do fucking tricks and such to get others to like them. I'm metaphorically speaking of course. I just think it's disgusting and annoying, and I'm completely tired of the "same-ole, same-ole" that goes on around me 24/7. Oh hell, I'm completely done complaining now. It's totally putting a damper on the happiness I had going for this blog!
Moving on, I would just like to say that I'm completely in love with Hedda Sully at the moment for giving me such wonderful recommendations that are now making it possible for me to download tons of music ♥
Until another day,
XOXO Allison =)
The first one was about overcoming break-up's, which I found enlightening since I'm currently going through one myself. It gave a lot of good advice on how to deal with a break-up and things that help you overcome it and move on. While I haven't really been feeling "depressed" or "sad" about my most recent break-up, I just have a feeling those feelings will eventually surface. Then again, maybe not. I don't really know, because it is new to, after two years, be "just me" and not "me and him." I mean, I've felt completely happy and in charge with my life lately and I seriously love that feeling. I'm not even concerned about having a boyfriend in my life. (Okay, so maybe I am about 30%, but it's nothing major). I love the feeling of every decision, every choice, every action, all being for me. Maybe that sounds a little selfish to some people, but I've been spending the past two years trying to please not only me, but my "other half" as well, and I am in much need and desire for some complete pleasure of MYSELF. Plus, I mean, I can't really sit here and say that I can fully be a wonderful girlfriend until I completely figure out myself and become happy with that...and I am a very complex, confusing, girl, so who knows how freakin' long it could be until I even achieve this! But enough about that...
This bringing me on to the next article. Underage marriage. This almost horrified me. I started thinking of how I was almost in this situation. I mean, I didn't have a ring or anything, but we talked about it quite frequently. I have realized lately that I am in no position to be marrying anyone at this point. I have barely figured out how to handle myself let alone figuring out how to handle myself and someone else. It just seems like chaos to me. I had an original plan of never getting married and adopting my own beautiful Japanese girl. I suppose I could still go back to that plan? However, I've chosen not to even think about these thoughts anymore for a very long time. Of course, it's wonderful to be in love and to have someone who cares about you, but it's also completely wonderful, (and necessary), to be in love with yourself.
Gheeze....enough about love for now!!!
Wanna know what has been completely over-exciting me lately? The fact that I've finally gotten my own apartment. Yes, me...living on my own in a place that's ALL mine. (Well, of course I'll be sharing it with my bff Jason, but we seriously haven't done anything without each other in a good 6 years, so it's not like that's really a big deal.) I think I've told just about everyone I know at least 10 times about me getting my place and probably 20+ times about how excited I am about it! I've already been decorating the whole place in my head and seriously, it's the most exciting event I've had so far in my life. Not only am I looking forward to the independence and the decorating, but it's also a new step in my life and my ticket out of this "whole-in-the-wall" hick town! I think I've been ready to move away from here since I was, about, 5 years old? Something like that. It's just not for me and when I leave I will probably only talk to 5% or less of the people that I currently coincide with. I just have no REAL ties with anyone here and I've yet to meet (with the exception of one) a person who fully understands and likes me for ME. It's like a circus here. Everyone wears disguises to hide who they really are and it's like they do fucking tricks and such to get others to like them. I'm metaphorically speaking of course. I just think it's disgusting and annoying, and I'm completely tired of the "same-ole, same-ole" that goes on around me 24/7. Oh hell, I'm completely done complaining now. It's totally putting a damper on the happiness I had going for this blog!
Moving on, I would just like to say that I'm completely in love with Hedda Sully at the moment for giving me such wonderful recommendations that are now making it possible for me to download tons of music ♥
Until another day,
XOXO Allison =)