diamond in the rough
I miss Houston.
It's weird when you return to a place you called "home" for years and find that it's not the home you used to love and feel so at ease in.
I find myself day dreaming and wondering what all my friends and teammates are doing back in Houston. I hate that i can't see them or spend time with them. I feel so alone in the Valley. I hardly no any other people that run and those that i can run with live in another city that i'd have to wake up xtra early to run with.
My room doesn't even feel like my room anymore. it's filled with Alexia's 5 year old amusements. i had to clear everything out in order to try and make it seem a little bit more like me. the room i had in my apartment in Houston felt more like me. I stand back and look at my bedroom here in Pharr and it seems like a it belongs to a younger kind of girl. A younger, Starla, if you will. I've out grown so many things, that my room doesn't seem to fit me anymore.
Needless to say that Houston doesn't exactly feel like home either. I think i'm just goin through some kind of transition that is hard to articulate at this point in my life. i'm not a full adult, and barely even a young adult...
my only job right now is to do well in school and run to the best of my ability...
i'm stuck in the middle.
i've even noticed this "in between" phase when i try to pick out books. i dont wanna pick out teen books anymore cause i feel that i'm sooo over them. but at the same time really adult books bore me to death.
Sometimes i don't even know if i really know who i am. my likes and disklikes can vary day to day, but i feel that i'm heavily influenced by other at times. Then there are times when i know that i am different. i am unique.
...heck! i am one of a kind! (see what i mean)
It's weird when you return to a place you called "home" for years and find that it's not the home you used to love and feel so at ease in.
I find myself day dreaming and wondering what all my friends and teammates are doing back in Houston. I hate that i can't see them or spend time with them. I feel so alone in the Valley. I hardly no any other people that run and those that i can run with live in another city that i'd have to wake up xtra early to run with.
My room doesn't even feel like my room anymore. it's filled with Alexia's 5 year old amusements. i had to clear everything out in order to try and make it seem a little bit more like me. the room i had in my apartment in Houston felt more like me. I stand back and look at my bedroom here in Pharr and it seems like a it belongs to a younger kind of girl. A younger, Starla, if you will. I've out grown so many things, that my room doesn't seem to fit me anymore.
Needless to say that Houston doesn't exactly feel like home either. I think i'm just goin through some kind of transition that is hard to articulate at this point in my life. i'm not a full adult, and barely even a young adult...
my only job right now is to do well in school and run to the best of my ability...
i'm stuck in the middle.
i've even noticed this "in between" phase when i try to pick out books. i dont wanna pick out teen books anymore cause i feel that i'm sooo over them. but at the same time really adult books bore me to death.
Sometimes i don't even know if i really know who i am. my likes and disklikes can vary day to day, but i feel that i'm heavily influenced by other at times. Then there are times when i know that i am different. i am unique.
...heck! i am one of a kind! (see what i mean)