Codeine, codeine, you're the nicest girl I've seen.
I know you're dying for a graphic depiction of my tonsillectomy. And lucky for you, I'm just the type of person to give all the gory details.
But first, I should warn you, I recently took two of my Oxycodones, so this may not actually make any sense.
First of all, the happy stuff they give you before surgery is amazing. You just get really giddy and forget everything. So the next thing I know I was in recovery waking up, with my mouth tasting strongly of blood. Then I got back to my room and watch trashy TV with my dad. And for some reason they gave me a green popsicle to make sure I could keep food down, thus dying my tonsil sockets green. They're still green. My whole mouth is still green.
The back of my mouth is swollen as all hell and if I don't keep a steady stream of narcotics in my system, the pain is so bad I start crying. Because of my terribly swollen uvula (a word that sounds like it should be associated with the vagina, I always thought) I snore like a mother.
The tonsillectomy diet so far has consisted of a total of two popsicles and the rest is all just apple juice. It hurts terribly to swallow, but if you get dehydrated it's even worse.
And the funny thing is, other people have adopted my inability to talk. I wanted my dad to pour me some apple juice last night (we got the gallon jug, and I don't trust my strength to handle it), so I opened the fridge door and pointed, and instead of asking, "Is it the apple juice that you want?" he just pointed back and grunted.
And so that's that. Time to try and take a shower.
But first, I should warn you, I recently took two of my Oxycodones, so this may not actually make any sense.
First of all, the happy stuff they give you before surgery is amazing. You just get really giddy and forget everything. So the next thing I know I was in recovery waking up, with my mouth tasting strongly of blood. Then I got back to my room and watch trashy TV with my dad. And for some reason they gave me a green popsicle to make sure I could keep food down, thus dying my tonsil sockets green. They're still green. My whole mouth is still green.
The back of my mouth is swollen as all hell and if I don't keep a steady stream of narcotics in my system, the pain is so bad I start crying. Because of my terribly swollen uvula (a word that sounds like it should be associated with the vagina, I always thought) I snore like a mother.
The tonsillectomy diet so far has consisted of a total of two popsicles and the rest is all just apple juice. It hurts terribly to swallow, but if you get dehydrated it's even worse.
And the funny thing is, other people have adopted my inability to talk. I wanted my dad to pour me some apple juice last night (we got the gallon jug, and I don't trust my strength to handle it), so I opened the fridge door and pointed, and instead of asking, "Is it the apple juice that you want?" he just pointed back and grunted.
And so that's that. Time to try and take a shower.