Fading Away
I know, I know. It's been a long time since I wrote in this journal. This is my first time getting back onto a computer. The computers have been shut down in this stupid library and I haven't been able to update anyone on what's going on. I do have 30 dollars. Yeah, that's it. Not much.. I feel like I have been playing this stupid ass guitar that I made for no damn reason. It's really getting me no where. I thought that this would be a great idea, and well yeah it's been helping me make money, but it's just coming in too damn slowly. I'll never get out of SF and be with my girl at this rate. God.. all I ask for is a little help here. Give me some sort of sign or something. I can't do this alone. I know that and I think everyone waiting for me at home knows that. I've been gone for way too long and it's not healthy for me or my girl. I don't even know if she still considers me her boy. I mean she tells me that, and I believe her, but if I were in her shoes, I'd be so upset and want to break up with me. I wouldn't break up with me because I am a bad person, but I'd break up with me because I am not with her. She is able to go out and have any guy steal her away from me and here I am fucking around trying to get some cash so I can do that. I don't really know how much longer my body can actually take being out here alone without any medication. I'm still sick and I haven't been able to take anything. I really think I am fading away. Not quickly, but slowly. It's hard to breathe sometimes and my stomach has these really sharp pains every few days. It's not healthy and I know I am fading away. I don't care if I have to get really really sick, I'm not giving up on making my way back to Arizona. I've already hurt my girl way too much to do it to her again, so baby this is for you.. no matter how long it takes me, no matter what I have to go through.. I'm coming home to you.. don't forget about me. I love you.
Alright. See everyone soon I hope.
Alright. See everyone soon I hope.