The times are changin'
I haven't updated this thing in one-hundred and seven weeks! That's over two years. How could I ever condense what has happened in that time? All I can tell you is that the tides of time have surely washed me to and fro' from shore to shore, like a ship on a tumultuous sea.
I think I've changed a great deal in the past two years. Some are good changes, others may not be. I've lost contact with old friends, and I've made many new ones. Sometimes I wonder what has happened to the people of whom old times past I've shared. I've had some great times and memories since I've moved up here about five years ago. I've graduated high school, and I'm now attending BCC to complete my AA. I plan on transferring to UF or UCF afterwards so I can finish up my bachelors degree in philosophy. After that, and if all goes well, it's law school.
So why did I start posting on here again? MySpace has become mundane and boring; everyone on that thing is so God damn pathetic.
I've really expanded myself in the past two years; I've taken a different outlook on life. I try to see things as they are now, and not how I interpret them. Subjectivity is a bitch.
I've been experimenting with psychedelics lately; they are fucking amazing! I did 'shrooms for the first time two nights ago. I can't even begin to explain it. It's far too abstract to convey. I'm looking forward to getting some acid again sometime very soon. Mainstream society unjustly portrays drug use in such a bad light, as if it's something reserved for the most repugnant, scum of society. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
It's part of our everyday life: politics.
I will not be voting in this years election, even though I'm eighteen. The Democratic and Republican party offer no difference; we might as well be a totalitarian state. Both are capitalist, pro-war, Zionists who are nothing but mere marionettes to the real bosses: the corporate world-- multinational corporations whose only loyalty is money. I feel helpless; there's nothing that a kid like me can to stop this country from going into an ignorance-plagued, hedonistic spiral into the abysmal depths of Hell. I feel like a lone voice of sanity, speaking as loud as one can, at the top of a mountain, only to be drowned out by the pitiable, mundane wants and needs of an innumerable amount of living zombies, aided in their efforts by the hegemony of a hundred-million corporate crime bosses and beauracrats. It doesn't even really matter though, does it? For all I know, I'm the fucking nut job. Subjectivity is a bitch :)
I want to see the world one day. I can't stay confined to this swampland forever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Florida; I've been raised here my whole life. I just need something new. I want to see Scotland, Italy, France, Spain, Russia, Australia, and plenty more. I admire European culture. I hope that one day I can live in Europe.
I have such a romanticized version of so many aspects of my life, and I think that's what leads me to disappointment so many times. I'm afraid that I have outrageous demands for this little grain of sand among the cosmos. Discontent seems to be a double sided sword so many times. It gives me the drive to pursue things that I could have otherwise never accomplish, but it is also the constant pain in my head that it telling me that I didn't do good enough. Have I not done enough, or have I done too much?
I wasn't meant for this age. I wish that I was born in a different time. I wish that I was brought up in the Wild West-- a gunfighter, with only a revolver, a horse, and an appetite to kill or be killed. I wasn't meant for the burdens of modern society-- living everyday for tomorrow, worrying about what bills need to be paid next, what deadlines are swiftly approaching.
I suppose I have my books to protect me. Philosophy and literature are the loves of my life, as they allow me to increasingly distance myself from my surroundings. In the past two years, I've noticed that I've become increasingly aloof. I'm interested in nothing that this world has to offer; my interests the sole things that have tormented the minds of many great intellectuals before: the meaning of life, morality, values. Things that can't be answered. The world is such a melancholic place.
I've become nihilistic, cynical, and skeptical.
-Cody
I think I've changed a great deal in the past two years. Some are good changes, others may not be. I've lost contact with old friends, and I've made many new ones. Sometimes I wonder what has happened to the people of whom old times past I've shared. I've had some great times and memories since I've moved up here about five years ago. I've graduated high school, and I'm now attending BCC to complete my AA. I plan on transferring to UF or UCF afterwards so I can finish up my bachelors degree in philosophy. After that, and if all goes well, it's law school.
So why did I start posting on here again? MySpace has become mundane and boring; everyone on that thing is so God damn pathetic.
I've really expanded myself in the past two years; I've taken a different outlook on life. I try to see things as they are now, and not how I interpret them. Subjectivity is a bitch.
I've been experimenting with psychedelics lately; they are fucking amazing! I did 'shrooms for the first time two nights ago. I can't even begin to explain it. It's far too abstract to convey. I'm looking forward to getting some acid again sometime very soon. Mainstream society unjustly portrays drug use in such a bad light, as if it's something reserved for the most repugnant, scum of society. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
It's part of our everyday life: politics.
I will not be voting in this years election, even though I'm eighteen. The Democratic and Republican party offer no difference; we might as well be a totalitarian state. Both are capitalist, pro-war, Zionists who are nothing but mere marionettes to the real bosses: the corporate world-- multinational corporations whose only loyalty is money. I feel helpless; there's nothing that a kid like me can to stop this country from going into an ignorance-plagued, hedonistic spiral into the abysmal depths of Hell. I feel like a lone voice of sanity, speaking as loud as one can, at the top of a mountain, only to be drowned out by the pitiable, mundane wants and needs of an innumerable amount of living zombies, aided in their efforts by the hegemony of a hundred-million corporate crime bosses and beauracrats. It doesn't even really matter though, does it? For all I know, I'm the fucking nut job. Subjectivity is a bitch :)
I want to see the world one day. I can't stay confined to this swampland forever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Florida; I've been raised here my whole life. I just need something new. I want to see Scotland, Italy, France, Spain, Russia, Australia, and plenty more. I admire European culture. I hope that one day I can live in Europe.
I have such a romanticized version of so many aspects of my life, and I think that's what leads me to disappointment so many times. I'm afraid that I have outrageous demands for this little grain of sand among the cosmos. Discontent seems to be a double sided sword so many times. It gives me the drive to pursue things that I could have otherwise never accomplish, but it is also the constant pain in my head that it telling me that I didn't do good enough. Have I not done enough, or have I done too much?
I wasn't meant for this age. I wish that I was born in a different time. I wish that I was brought up in the Wild West-- a gunfighter, with only a revolver, a horse, and an appetite to kill or be killed. I wasn't meant for the burdens of modern society-- living everyday for tomorrow, worrying about what bills need to be paid next, what deadlines are swiftly approaching.
I suppose I have my books to protect me. Philosophy and literature are the loves of my life, as they allow me to increasingly distance myself from my surroundings. In the past two years, I've noticed that I've become increasingly aloof. I'm interested in nothing that this world has to offer; my interests the sole things that have tormented the minds of many great intellectuals before: the meaning of life, morality, values. Things that can't be answered. The world is such a melancholic place.
I've become nihilistic, cynical, and skeptical.
-Cody