There's Only One Way This Can Go
Title: There's Only One Way This Can Go
Rating: To be safe 15, but I think it's probably lower than that haha.
Warnings: Some language and adult allusions, but otherwise it's probably the mildest (mushiest) thing I've ever written lol, as well as potential cop-out ending >.>''.
Pairings: Cody/Ted, John/Randy.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot and characterisations, the rest belongs to the WWE.
Summary: A fight with his lover leads Ted to make a stupid decision thanks to familial and peer pressure, and as the big day arrives he finds himself torn; does he want the typical smiling, brunette wife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence, or does he want a diva with dark hair whose lisp makes him melt, regardless of what everyone else thinks?
~:::~
A small droplet of sweat made a swift progression down the side of his face from his hairline, Ted’s cornflower blues focused on the bead as it vanished underneath the collar of his dress shirt. The air-conditioning was turned up pretty high and yet he was still sweating, his heart beating so fast that he felt he was going to keel over and have a heart-attack before too long. And, sadly, from the look on his best-man’s face, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be receiving any help from him on the matter. Almost reluctantly his gaze moved to his best friend, seeing that he was still frowning away, but the second his mother or someone else walked into the room Randy was all smiles and slippery-snake charm. “I-I hope you’re not thinkin’ of glarin’ like that through the ceremony?” he tried to sound glib but his voice came out choked, throat parched drier than the Sahara.
“If it weren’t for the fact our families are gonna be sat there I would. It’s taking all my self-control not to pick up one of these fancy wooden chairs and smash you over the head with it.” Randy was reclined back over one of said chairs, one impressively long leg draped over an arm of the chair as the other was stretched out away from the chair. Randy’s own tuxedo was dark and of the same high-tailored quality of Ted’s own, but whereas Ted was buttoned up to the nines Randy’s lacked its bowtie and his jacket hung open, spread out back against the chair. Ted had the feeling that the bowtie would mysteriously go missing before the ceremony had even begun. Wincing, Ted turned back to the mirror and started adjusting the area wherein his shirt was tucked in, conscious that his love-handles were perhaps more visible than he had been led to believe they were.
A small voice in the back of his mind said that if he wasn’t as freaked out as he had been then he wouldn’t have cared about such a small thing. In fact, if he had been standing here with him instead then he would have been hoping for it… He always knew how to make him feel good when it came to that little imperfection that he just couldn’t shake off.
Raking his hands through his hair Ted exhaled, leaning against the mirror. Immediately the smooth glass of the gilded full-body reflecting surface fogged up where Ted’s heated flesh connected with it, the cool glass turning warm immediately and doing nothing to offer Ted any relief. In that moment he found himself wondering why on earth everyone always claimed that your wedding-day was supposed to be the happiest of your life; he certainly wasn’t feeling that way, and he didn’t feel as though he had butterflies in his stomach, more like he had industrial-grade broken glass shards. He wanted to be sick. He wanted to tear off the bow-tie, jacket and waistcoat and just run. He wanted out of the backroom of this church where his family and friends were waiting outside to witness him pledging his life to another. The ‘another’ that they wanted to see…
But that Ted honestly wasn’t sure he wanted. Once upon a time, maybe, but things were different now. Things had been different since the first time he had laid eyes upon him, sitting at a communal lunch-desk in the office canteen area, a dorky comic-book, sorry, graphic-novel, spread open on the table before him, a half-eaten salad sitting, ignored next to it. Ted had had no idea where to sit at the time, but when he had looked up and smiled coyly at him in greeting, revealing an adorable gap in his teeth, the seat opposite him was the only one Ted noticed in the room.
A sudden knock on the door made Ted jump so hard that he cracked his head off of the mirror, “Fuck!” he hissed, grasping at his injured forehead as Randy adjusted himself upright from the chair and crossed the room in several strides to open the door. Ted just managed to straighten up just as his mother entered the room, dressed in her finery, the obligatory ‘mother’s wedding hat’ atop her neatly styled hair and a large smile on her face. The happy smile and teary-eyes made Ted’s stomach bottom out further, cursing the fact that he was to remain forever secretive and spineless, that she wasn’t there to witness his real wedding day, to the love of his life. “We’re ready Teddy, come on,” she chided, flapping her gloved hands at him. Ted forced a smile that felt altogether too fake on his face but his mother didn’t seem to notice.
The fact that she was attempting to wrestle Randy into righting his outfit probably had something to do with that, but in that moment Ted was glad she was distracted because the moment she finished Ted was to go out there and take his place before those gathered there today, to await the arrival of his future wife. Absently Ted wondered if pretending to pass-out would be a big enough segue or whether he would just lose lots of his manly street-cred instead. As he found himself being patted down of any imaginary creases by his mother he found he already knew the answer, and so, when she told him it was time, Ted allowed himself to be walked out to the front. Despite himself he searched the crowd after exchanging tight smiles with his brothers and father who was going to ordain the service for him.
How stupid was he to expect him to be here? Knowing him there probably wasn’t anywhere on earth he’d rather be less.
~::~
“You’re gonna regret this,” John insisted for what had to be the thousandth time, glancing agitatedly at the text message that had just appeared on his phone; Randy had alerted him that they had about forty minutes before Ted was due to take his vows, that the ceremony would have started, and John wasn’t even able to convince Cody to get his ass out of bed. The lump underneath the covers shifted a little before a petulant voice lisped, “I don’t give a fuck. It’s nothing to do with me. If he wants to fuck a girl from now on then let him get on with it. There’re plenty of other men out there who would kill to be with me.” Suddenly a dark head popped out from underneath the covers, not unlike a mole coming out of its hole to check its surroundings, “If you weren’t with Randy I’d probably be trying to get into your pants right now. I’ve seen what you’ve got between your legs John, hoo boy, wouldn’t mind a ride on that.”
John didn’t know whether to be amused or mildly disturbed because their relationship as friends first via Randy’s connection to them both and then individually, had never gone outside of those parameters… and there had been times over the years when they could have used one another as convenient sources of comfort. The fact that they hadn’t showed how strong they were as friends and how highly they valued their relationships with their respective partners… though if you asked Cody he would now insist that those were past tense beliefs because he no longer had any such long-term partner. Said partner was being a fucking pussy and going back to, well, fucking pussy. The thought was enough to bring a sour expression back to Cody’s face before he retreated back underneath the covers once more.
“Are you pissed?” if he had been hoping that something of a segue or joke would be offered John was sadly disappointed because Cody merely snorted, “I do not get drunk, Cena.” This time John was the one to snort, “You don’t get drunk? Right, I’ll be reminding you that the next time me, Randy and Teddy are dragging your drunk, half-naked ass from the bar because you can barely stand up and are so horny you’re five seconds away from humping a bar-stool like a bitch in heat.” As he had been hoping his words caught Cody’s attention, a black glare being levelled at the dimple-faced brunette from underneath long lashes when Cody popped out into the open again. “This is ridiculous!” John snorted, suddenly lashing out and grabbing Cody’s ankle, pulling him non-too-gently right out of his bed and onto the floor, splayed out naked as the day he was born.
“The fuck, John?!” Cody mewled like a pissed off cat, quailing slightly though when he saw that for once John Cena wasn’t smiling. “You’re gonna get dressed, and then we’re gonna get in that car waiting downstairs an’ go to that church. If we don’t do this then in half an hour you an’ Ted are both gonna ruin your lives. You’re gonna hate us, and everyone else, because you two just couldn’t man the fuck up.” On that note John turned and stomped to the door of Cody’s apartment, throwing it open and starting through it. A low-blow though it was, and something even Cody would normally think about before he said, Cody snapped, “And what would you know about it?” the words seemed to hang in the air between them and Cody caught his bottom lip between his teeth wishing he could call the words back, to apologise. He knew all of the shit Randy and John had gone through, which was way more than he and Ted had… because John and Randy hadn’t had someone there to keep an eye on them and help them through such a complicated situation.
“Randy doesn’t just get to see his daughter on weekends for nothing, you know,” the words were flat, emotionless, but Cody could see the pain in John’s eyes momentarily before the door slammed after him. Randy had never blamed John for the break-down of his marriage and the loss of time with his daughter, but John blamed himself. Six years down the line and John was still blaming himself for falling in love with Randy, for letting Randy fall in love with him.
The apartment was unnervingly quiet when John left and Cody sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging them, cursing the day that an apple-cheek, ghetto-booty’d blonde walked into his life.
~::~
“And do you, Theodore Marvin DiBiase-“Ted tuned out when his father spoke, though reflexively answered the two damning words, “I do,” in a strained voice when his father’s lips stopped moving. His old man smiled encouragingly, then turning his attention to the beaming brunette at his side, his on-off high-school sweetheart Kristen, soon to be wife, Kristen. He repeated the question to her, and then glanced out to the congregation. John was missing, Ted noticed, saddened by the thought even though it didn’t surprise him in the slightest; he was close to Cody after all, they were best-friends just like he and Randy… he probably wasn’t showing out of loyalty to Cody even though his own husband was present. Ted swallowed thickly, unsure what he was praying for as his father intoned,
“If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
This was it. No one was going to speak and Ted was going to now be Mr DiBiase alongside the newest Mrs DiBiase, soon to be expecting their first child and with a home and--
The heavy church doors suddenly flew open with impressive force, everyone gathered turning incredulously to see what the interruption was. When Ted noticed a smartly suited, flushed and panting Cody framed in the doorway surrounded by bright light, he almost dropped to his knees in worshipful awe. “I-I know a reason,” Cody looked nervous, Ted swore he was shaking, but his head was held high and his jaw set, voice level and carrying as he spoke, “He shouldn’t marry her… because he’s in love with me.” Immediate uproar came, his father shouting for someone to get Cody out of there, guests immediately lurching into gossip and condemning Cody, so focused on him and the stunned, crying bride that no one noticed Randy slipping out of a side-door and heading down to where John waited inside a four-seater drop-top convertible, the engine running expectantly. Randy smirked and threw the jacket off as he jumped into the passenger side, leaning in to give John a sound kiss, “How did you convince him?” John merely gave a sweet smile and shrugged, as though he didn’t know. The pair then fell silent expectantly as they watched the church doors.
Inside, Cody was still standing, ignoring the melee around him, eyes only for Ted. And in was in that moment that Ted realised just how true that was: Cody had only ever had eyes from day one, even though he had the attentions of numerous men and women wherever they went. A hand suddenly grasped his, the bite of nails drawing his attention immediately. “Ted?” Kristen’s make-up had smudged, the beautiful image she had made suddenly looking ruined, like a fresh painting left out in the rain. Sighing softly Ted leant in and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and her face crumbled, releasing his hand as though he had burned her. Ignoring the cries of his family, his father’s voice ringing out over all of the others, Ted vaulted neatly a pew and crossed the distance to where Cody waited, a brilliant smile on his face and a hand outstretched to him.
Together they ran down the steps of the church, jumping into the back of the car, joyous, somewhat hysterical laughter coming from the two, a passionate kiss being exchanged in the backseat as John floored the engine, the image of the four speeding down the open road towards the blazing sun the last thing and of the wedding party saw, the quartets next stop being simple, but with purpose:
Vegas.