(no subject)
Dear Mother,
First of all: please stop bugging me to do that picture. You seem to be expecting some big detailed thing, which is bad enough. Second, you're expecting it of a dragon. Third, you're giving me no direction on it except maybe to copy the picture I did of my character Erika an angel and Satan a big, slightly demonic-seeming dragon, which I refuse to do. Fourth, it's for someone I have never met and have no intention of ever meeting for some unknown purpose. Fifth, you want it NOW NOW NOW, and sixth, you seem to expect me to have some sort of enthusiasm about it. Frankly: no. Seventh, and among the most important of these, you did not even ask me if I wanted to do this. You, from what I gather from what you've said, saw that the old lady friend or whoever of my grandmother's liked dragons, and decided to tell the old bag that I'd do her a picture. You didn't ask me about it. You didn't ask if I would be interested in doing such a thing. You drove my wheezebag grandma back to her house and told me you'd volunteered me to do a big detailed picture for a stranger. I am not even getting paid for this. There is no reward for my trouble other than getting you to shut the fuck up about it. In essence: BAD MOTHER NO BISCUIT.
Also: why the hell did you assign me to pick the not-oranges? (I think they're actually satsumas or something.) I don't know which ones to pick. I do not know plants. There is a reason the only plant I personally own is a cactus. This is because they are severely low-maintenance (and it helps that my cactus is the cute little chubby round kind, but anyway). There can be no good end to this.
--Your daughter
P.S. When I finally do the picture, that is the picture I will have done. If you are dissatisfied, then fuck you. There are no refunds or returns or anything else of the sort for free labor. Bite me.