Whining and call for HELPplz

[codename_windy]

Haha, wow. Just... wow.

Recieved an email from my ex-best friend. I'm not even sure I know a word to discripe her behaviour at this point. It's just... unbelieveable, really.

Comments

[codename_windy]

Yes, it is true that I have no hard proof of what she owes me. Paypal does not keep transaction logs that far back. Since she was my best friend, I trusted her far too much to feel any need to make any official documentation. In a way, it truly is quite my own fault for being too gullible and trusting.

The deal with the doujinshi was that she gave them to me, with the agreement that I would scan them. As I said, I feel that the fair demand would had been to ask for me to complite the task and send her the scans, rather than demand back what for all point and purpose was something she *offered* and *gave* to me.

The Al wig is not elaborately styled, nor does it take a lot of space. As I said, it was packed into a plastic bag, all flat and stuff. I never said it was elaborately styled or in any way noteable wig, other than being good quality, looking really good for the cosplay it was for and being considerably comfortable to wear.

Without control panel, I cannot access my default directory, and as said, I do not remember what I have on the server, up and including to what I have named the directories. Most of webservers also offer to move one's stuff over, once you sign up, but I am fairly certain that would require access to the old server as well.
Regardless, I think changing locks on the doors when someone else's stuff is still in the house is... yeah.

Oh trust me, it would happen without her ultimatum deadlines too. As I said, I was the one who originally wanted things sorted out, but I waited until the time was convinient for her. Now I am getting the backlash of that, since the time was not convinient for me anymore, but she is "wrapping it up", with or without my concent.
What I am a bit confused over, is if she wants me out of her life so urgently, why do my posts still pop-up as reasons for her choises/actions.

I do apologize if any of this sounds rude or bitchy. Your implication that I would just drag this on, and not do things, simply rubs me very much the wrong way and I am rather on edge at the moment already.

[akkhima]

Paypal keeps a record of all of your transactions ever, you just have to search by date. But I don't think the disagreement is with how much money you sent to her, but more how much she's paid back or not?

What's rubbing her the wrong way is that you say things like "that's so much money for me~" and then say that you want it back so you can buy things while you're in Japan, but if you can afford to go to Japan at all, you're MUCH better off financially than she is.

The control panel is not going to give you the access to the files you want, so I'm having Julia make you an ftp account. Once she makes it and sends you the username and password, you just want to go to ftp://wind.gogglelove.net and put int he username and pass she gives you. You'll see everything as a file listing that you can right click and do a save as...

Changing the locks on a door with someone else's stuff inside is common when you're worried the person might mess with YOUR stuff when they go to get their own, so I'm trying to be an gobetween here and get you the access you do need. I don't have anything against you personally, I want to stay on good terms, I'm just trying to let you in on what I understand from hearing it in person.

[codename_windy]

Well, the disagreement is actually over how much she owes, which is combination of how much was lend and how much was paid back. I do not know which part she has calculated differently. Of course, what she has paid back is even more impossible to track, as it has been in form of manga, which I also got a hug bunch myself from the two summers I worked there and have kept buying from here for over half a year now.

800 dollars is a lot of money for me. I have no steady job, thus no steady income and I currently don't even get student aid. As for me being able to afford to go to Japan; it is what I am choosing to do rather for example than buy a doll that costs several hundreds, like she did this spring. As I said, the flight I got was super cheap deal and I am working on top of studying full-time to afford it.
Regardless of my financial situation though, I do think there is little in terms of actual justification for not paying back what you've been lent, but it might be one of my weird opinions again.

The control panel solution sounds fairly good. It doesn't fully solve the situation, since I also need files from some of our other sub-domains, but it does considerably cut-down the amount of files that will be lost with me not remembering to specifically request for them. *nodnod*

... I do hope you are not implying you feel there is a risk I was going to mess with her things and thus her choise of just changing the locks was justified, because that is the level of insult I don't think I could stomach...? It's also quite ridiculous idea, in the light that I have had an access to the server for the past half a year, during which our friendship has been over, and have not even touched her stuff. I also have not said or done anything that could be interpreted as planning or intending such thing.

I do appreciate your effort to go-between and especially to help with the messy webserver situation. While I can understand you wanting to voice out her side too, it really doesn't help me to understand her, because it lacks all the reasoning, lacks what's going on in her head to make her think that way. Also, after the post in which she "told her side", and not only mixed facts but also twisted them, I am rather sceptical I could really follow her logic and thought-process even if I knew it.

[akkhima]

I don't thing there is justification for not paying you back, but I see where she's feeling offended. She did buy the doll with her one time tax refund, but I think the one luxury she was able to allow herself months ago hardly compares with what will be your third trip to Japan since this all went down. 800 dollars is a lot of money for anyone, but it's not the amount, it's that she really has very little free money when she works full time and has to pay her own rent and buy her own food, and you're *choosing* to work for extra money to do something fun. She would love to even *be able* to go to school and work part time, but if she worked any less than she does, she'd be sleeping on her mother's couch. I understand that your life isn't all daisies, but you are financially stable, at least.

I personally don't think there is a risk of you messing with her stuff, but I can see how with the possibility of emotional overreaction in this situation, why she wanted to protect herself.

I'm sorry if I'm not helping any, I'm trying. I can't help you get in her head, though.

[codename_windy]

... Um, it will be my first trip to Japan since this went down. I was in Japan last in March, after which she actually approached me, said she missed me and we had a month of getting closer again until everything went to hell.

I can afford to go to school and work for money to use for entertainment because I *am* living with my parents. She has made her own choises and I have made mine.

I also never claimed I needed the money more than her, and as I said in my post, I never demanded it to be payed in a way that hurts the basic needs of her life, or occational fun things. But in the current situation, and especially with the determination she now is showing in cutting all ties, one would think that setting the financial situation straight would be on the to-do list, too.

... My possible emotional overreaction to what, exactly? Her announcing she won't pay back? Her setting a deadline for me? If it was the first, she could had just not told me until after the web-account deal. If it was the second... well, I really don't see how it is likely I'll emotionally overreact to that in a way that will make me go after her, when I didn't when she publicly slandered me. While I can understand why you want to understand and see justification to her reaction, but I'm afraid still cannot do either.

You are helping by trying to get her to let me have access to my subdomain, at least. And I know you can't get me into her head, not to mention I'm probably better off not knowing all the horrible things she believes of me, honestly.

[stungauge]

ALSO Finland, socialization, etc- costs of living are different than in the US. I don't think comparing lifestyles is appropriate. Julia COULD have taken a different path certainly, but she didn't and I don't think Wind should have to feel bad about that.

Wind- I don't think you are overreacting. I'll email you later with my advice!

[codename_windy]

Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it, truly.

Email is nice whenever you can find the time! Sounds like you're pretty darn busy with school too. x_X