life is passing me by
so i have posted in forever.. since the msi show to be exact. life has been hectic and lazy all at the same time....the thing that makes me the happiest is that me and mart-y are good friends again..turns out i was trying to hang out with stef because he was mad at me..and he hung with my ex for the exact same reason....steph and marty are friends of course it would be asshole like to ask him to hate her for me...stef is cold..and is telling everyone that i call and ask her for sex..and that is crap..i asked to hang out..i may even considered sex..but i think she has a std..and i wouldnt do it because of marty..but the std thing scares me...she slept with everyone i found out..im glad i never got the umm "privilage"to be nice...but anyways i got fired..for a lot of reasons...so im looking for work frantically..and i have an interview at alvin walmart overnight stocker or maintenance..i would rather be a waiter..or work at the hospital but well see.....so my lfe continues to pass me by and i really havent accomplished too much in the last 3 years..besides the army thing and a few hours of college...all i get is remnants of what i want and what i wish to be..like seeing steph everyday in her car while im in clear lake..what are the chances?...whatever they are i see her everyday without fail..but she doesnt see me back i like it that way..she hates me if i did or tried to do what she thought i did i guess i would hate me too..im tired of messing up relationships and being a bad bf....im tired of being just ok looking...and im single and cant get no one...its a first for me...im so lonely and depressed its not funny....so i need a job but have no motivation...hmm yes one more thing that is new..hangin out with sarah f...and her bunch of friends lately..its fun and i know i can see girls naked over there...cant lose with that lol...well until later so long and goodnight
derrick
derrick