Oh shirt!
I acquired a few bottles of wine on my lunch break. One is a bottle ’99 Petite Syrah (the woman acting as wine authority at the store told me I would be astonished by the broad bouquet and strong tannins; in fact she described it as “chewy”… I’m not sure if that is meant to excite or horrify me…) I also procured a bottle of Merlot from eastern Washington. The sales associate, apparently intent on displaying her skill for using words only abstractly relevant to wine, described this bottle as “dark” and “heady”.