How Dean Woke Up Gay
Dean was starting to freak out.
"Sam... I think I'm gay."
Sam looked up from the newspaper then blinked and smiled.
"Oh. Ok.
Umm, I'm glad you finally told me?"
He slapped him on the back, then went back to reading the newspaper.
Dean paused for a moment to process that, then exclaimed in a pissed voice, "Wait, what do you mean *finally*?"
Sam looked up again with a grin.
"I woke *up* gay, this is a *new* thing!"
Sam raised one eyebrow.
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"I mean, when I went to bed last night, I was straight, and when I woke up, I couldn't stop thinking about guys!"
"Well, uh, actually I thought you were overcompensating or something. Y'know, trying a bit too hard for the macho look?
"What do you mean, you weren't gay before this?"
"I mean, I wasn't gay, and now I am!"
"What about Brian Kernohan when you were 16?"
Deans mouth gaped. "What the fuck do you know about Brian Kernohan?"
Sam put his hands up, "Hey, we're talking about you, not me".
Dean groaned and rubbed his head, "I was *16* and horny ok? But I was thinking about *girls*."
Theres are
"Are you sure you weren't gay before this?"
"Yes!"
"Well what about Brian Kernohan, when you were 16?"
Dean's mouth gaped in horror "How did you-" he cut himself off and groaned, rubbing his head with his hand. "I was *16* ok? I was horny, but I was thinking about *girls*."
"Riiight," Sam nodded disbelievingly, "You were thinking about girls while you had your dick in his mouth?"
"*Yes*, while -" Deans mouth snapped shut before he could embarass himself more.
"Just," Dean waved his hands in frustration, "Shut *up*! I was *straight*, I have only been gay since this *morning*, I would like to figure out *why*."
They paused for a few moments, while Sam had a look of concentration on his face.
"Well?" said Dean, spreading his hands.
"Oh, so you *do* want me to speak?" said Sam.
Dean smacked him on the back of the head, "Ow" said Sam, rubbing it crossly before continuing, "Ok, so - you think this is supernatural, or something?"
Dean ignored the slightly disbelieving tone in his voice, "Yes. What sort of things would make me gay?".
Sam thought about it. "Well, we haven't encountered any monsters in the last few days, let alone one that would have that kind of effect, you don't seem under the influence of possession, I'm guessing probably a spell of some sort?"
"Ok," nods Dean, "That just leaves us with the big gaping question of *who*?".
"Well... there was that guy hitting on you last night." said Sam.
"What guy?" questioned Dean with a confused look on his face.
Sam peered at him. He really did seem honestly confused.
"Huh," said Sam,
"Maybe you really *were* straight..."
That guy you were playing pool with.
"He was just being friendly, seemed like a nice enough guy"
Sam stared at him, "He was staring at your crotch, not to mention your ass, especially when you were bent over the pool table".
"Uh, now that you mention it, he did say something about having a rematch tonight."
"Even though we were leaving town?"
"Hey, I *had* just hustled him out of $200."
Dean stared at himself in the mirror, the pulled up his shirt to check out his abs, and turned around to look at how the jeans fit on his ass.
"What are you doing?" questioned Sam.
"Hey, it's one thing to know I'm hot, it's another to actually, Day-am" Dean grinned in the mirror. "know you're *hot*".
Sam rolled his eyes.
"How do you even *know* that?"
Sam waved a hand in a 'small detail' motion, "Hey, we were talking about you, not me."
Dean looked at Sam in shock. "What the fuck? You -" His mouth gaped open for a moment, "Look. I was 16, ok? I was horny, but I was thinking about *girls*."
"Right," Sam nodded disbelievingly. "You were thinking about girls while you had your dick in his mouth?"
"Yes while -" Deans mouth snapped shut before he could say any more.
"Just shut up! ok? I was *straight*, I have only been gay since this *morning*, I would like to figure out *why*."
"Ummm, I was going to get changed now, but if you're gay now, I don't want to weird you out."
Dean gawked at him, "What?" then clicked, and exclaimed with disgust, "Dude, you're still my *brother*.".
Sam shrugged, said "Ok then", and started pulling off off his shirt. Cotton rose above the indecently low line of his jeans, revealing a thin line of tanned, toned muscles that rapidly grew wider as first his abs, and then chest and nipples were exposed as he pulled his shirt over his head.
Dean swallowed. ('Ok. That was wrong.' )"Uh, actually, y'know what? I'll just uh, go wait in the car." as he turned and fled.
Huh. He didn't seem to be very gay.
How gay is very gay?
Oh, y'know. Grabbing my ass, tryin' to proposition me etc.
This happens often?
Yeah.
/All the time.
/Dean, we were in a small, mid-west town, how gay is 'very' gay?
"Oh no, most guys do that. Y'know, I usually lean over a bit more than I have to, seems to put a lot of guys off their shot. Or I, y'know, drink my beer a bit more obviously than I have to."
Dean proceded to give a demonstration.
Sam stared at him.
"Ok, I've changed my mind. It's not a spell, it's *karma*, come to bite you on the ass for turning guys *gay*."
"What? It's not my fault how other people react..."
"Pffft, yeah, maybe if you weren't giving the bottle a really good *blowjob*. "
Pfft, yeah. I might believe you if I hadn't just seen you give that bottle a really *good* blowjob.
(*Dean paused, then grinned, "So... you think I'd be good at it then?"*
/
"I was thinking about *girls*, and right now I'm *not*."
There's a pause. Sam asks, "So... what *are* you thinking about now?"
There's a beat, and "Uh, Brian Kernohan." admits Dean.
)
Dude, if all the guys that did that were gay, there'd be..." Dean paused, searching for a simile "a *lot* of gay guys in the world" he finished lamely.