Of Anorexia & Patbingsoo.
Pairings: Kyuhyun/Sooyoung with a touch of Donghae/Jessica, Donghae/Eunhyuk, & Eunhyuk/Hyoyeon. (;
A/N: My grammar is getting so bad lately. T ^ T ! I think it's time for me to go back to school... D:
This fanfic was inspired by this allkpop article -> http://www.allkpop.com/2010/08/netizens-suspect-sooyoung-of-getting-plastic-surgery
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‘Plastic bitch.’
‘Look at her. Her nose and lips just defines plastic surgery.’
‘Ha, I can’t believe she was my favorite in SNSD. This is so disappointing. I’m going back to being Yoona-biased.’
‘Sooyoung-unnie, I’m so disappointed in you…’
Sooyoung felt tears brimming her eyes as she looked saw the numerous amounts of negative comments in her fancafe, but reminding herself that she was on a quick bathroom break from the SM Town rehearsal, she quickly wiped them away as she continued looking through the comments, hoping to see at least one fan that doesn‘t hate her.
“I don’t understand… How did weight gain and a haircut cause my fans to become antis…? Maybe I should stop eating at night and go on a diet again…” Tears immediately filled Sooyoung’s eyes once again as she saw the population of her fan café rapidly decreasing by the second. It was like a stab to her heart, over and over again.
“I’m losing all of my fans… What do I do…?” She couldn’t help but to let out a small sob as she curled herself into a ball on the bathroom floor.
“Sooyoung unnie! Where are you? You’ve been gone for an awfully long time…”
Hearing Seohyun’s calls, Sooyoung quickly wiped off her already spilled tears from her face, tucked her cellphone into her back pocket, and stood up. She knew she couldn’t let her group members see her like this. She knew she couldn’t be a burden to them especially when the SMTown Concerts and the Japan showcases are just around the corner. She knew she had to be strong (even though it was so damn hard for her to) for the sake of her members’.
“Unnie? Are you in the bathroom?” Seohyun’s voice was tainted with worry.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” Sooyoung hoped that Seohyun didn’t notice the strain in her voice.
She was just about to exit the bathroom until she heard a loud ‘clank!’ Her cellphone dropped.
Sooyoung picked her cellphone up and what she saw on the screen surprised her.
‘Choi Sooyoung is the most beautiful, natural member in Girls‘ Generation, inside and out. I love her very much and I always will, no matter what happens!!! I’ll always stand by her side through the good times and the bad times because that’s what a real fan is!!! Sooyoung-shii, don’t let these negative comments affect you and remember to keep on smiling. You’re the prettiest when you’re smiling! Cheerful Princess Sooyoung fighting!!! ^^ kekeke’
Sooyoung immediately felt a smile tugging her lips and her heart warming up. “At least there is one fan who still believes in me…”
“Sooyoung unnie?!”
Sooyoung immediately tucked her cellphone into her back pocket as she ran out of the bathroom, linked arms with Seohyun and apologized for her long disappearance. With the biggest smile plastered on her tear-stained face, she walked with Seohyun back into the practice room, where the rest of the group was practicing.
Stand strong and smile Choi Sooyoung. You took numerous acting lessons. Just use your acting skills to fake your smiles. Don’t be selfish and be a burden to your members. You can get through this.
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Two weeks later, SNSD‘s dorm…
Jessica was just about to put another stack of pancakes on Sooyoung’s plate until Sooyoung quickly stood up and placed her dishes in the sink. “Sooyoung, don’t you want another helping of pancakes? You always do.”
“It’s okay. I’m really not that hungry. Thanks anyways.” Sooyoung swore she heard her stomach screaming in agony.
“Oh god, the world is ending! The food goddess doesn’t want to eat! YAH! What kind of food goddess are you?! You have been rejecting food left and right for two weeks straight! You‘re disgracing your own nickname! Go eat and redeem it!” Yuri grabbed Sooyoung‘s shoulders and started shaking her viciously.
“Are you okay Soo? Do you want to talk about it? It’s not like you to reject food.” Tiffany placed her hand on Sooyoung’s forehead to make sure that she isn’t burning up a fever.
Sooyoung moved away from Tiffany, making sure that she isn‘t making any eye contact with her. “I’m fine. I just don’t feel like eating. If you excuse me, I feel really tired so I’m going to go take a small nap before going to practice.”
Sooyoung went into the room she shared with Jessica and closed the door behind her.
Yuri, Tiffany, and Jessica all stared at each other with apparent worry on their faces.
What ever happened to their loveable shikshin?
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Sooyoung heavily sighed as she sat down on her bed.
Looking at herself in the mirror that was on her nightstand, she noticed that her cheeks were decreasing in size, but she failed to notice the gigantic eye bags that adorned her eyes and how incredibly pale and weak she looked.
“It’s working… I knew eating less and skipping meals would cause me to lose weight…”
Sooyoung went over to the weight scale and almost rejoiced in happiness as she saw that she was now 95 pounds. She was even skinner than Sunny, the lightest and shortest person in SNSD.
“I hope I can gain back all the fans that I lost…”
Smiling weakily, Sooyoung stepped down from the scale, but almost lost her balance as she felt sudden dizziness and the room spinning around her. “Aish… Hopefully, a nap will cure this...”
Sooyoung laid down on her bed, wrapped herself in her blanket, and allowed sleep to engulf her.
See Sooyoung? You can solve your own problems without being a burden to others. You just lost 15 pounds in two weeks and look at how you look now, better than ever. Your fans will love you. Keep it up. You can do this.
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The Next Day, SM Entertainment Building…
“Hey! Choi Sooyoung! Wait up!” Sooyoung turned around to see Kyuhyun running up to her.
Panting, Kyuhyun waved a plastic bag in front of Sooyoung’s face. “Eung? What’s this?”
Smiling, Kyuhyun exclaimed, “Patbingsoo* of course! I was at the café earlier with Sungmin-Hyung and I remembered how much you loved patbingsoo so I bought some for you.” Kyuhyun hoped that she didn’t see the blush that was creeping onto his face.
(A/N: Patbingsoo is a Korean dessert that consists of shaved ice and condensed milk! It's also usually topped with fruit, red bean, and ice cream! It's really, really delicious and perfect for the hot summer weather! http://www.julielimblog.com/junkfood-for-your-soul-pat-bing-soo/)
“Yah! Who are you and what have you done with Cho Kyuhyun? The Cho Kyuhyun that I know of was never this nice to me!” She playfully poked his cheek.
Kyuhyun cocked an eyebrow as he gently slapped away her hand. “What’s wrong with being nice?”
She shook her head and smiled at him. “It’s nothing. I’m just not used to you not teasing me and us not getting into a fight every time we talk to each other.”
Her smile made his heart beat at least 50 times faster.
“Well… I’m not always the evil mangae you know. I also do have a nice side.” Kyuhyun flicked her forehead.
“My god… You’re like Jacob Black in Twilight! Instead of having the abilities to turn into a werewolf, you have the abilities to transform from an evil mangae to a nice person. That’s really amazing but yet creepy at the same time!” Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to chuckle at her remarks.
“You’re right. I’m not like Jacob Black, I’m hotter than he will ever be.” Kyuhyun cockily smirked at her.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU? HOTTER THAN TAYLOR LAUNTER? KEEP DREAMING!” He has never failed to make her laugh with his witty jokes.
He always loved hearing her laugh. “I have to go practice now. Leeteuk-Hyung will slice off my head if I’m late. Enjoy the patbingsoo!” Kyuhyun shoved the bag into her hands and messed up her hair before running away in the opposite direction.
“ACK, MY HAIR! YAH! COME BACK HERE!” Sooyoung heard his deep voice booming with laughter.
Smiling at his disappearing back, Sooyoung felt her heart tingling with happiness. “Kyuhyun…I really do like you…”
Looking at the plastic bag in her hands, she let out a heavy sigh as she went to the closest trashcan she could find and dumped the patbingsoo that Kyuhyun bought her in it. “Kyuhyun… Please forgive me… I really do like you… But I can’t afford to wreck the diet I’m on… I’m really sorry…”
She was unaware that Kyuhyun had seen everything.
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Four days later, SM Entertainment’s Practice Room…
“5 6 7 8. 1 2 3 4. Slide. Pop and Lock. Pelvic thrust. Clap and snap. & repeat.” Sooyoung, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Luna, Victoria, Donghae, Shindong, Eunhyuk, Minho, and Taemin were practicing nonstop for the SMTown’s dance battle. After all, practice makes perfect as the famous saying would quote.
Sooyoung felt in shambles as she danced. She never felt so weak and lightheaded (and ridiculously hungry) in her life, but she knew she has to rehearse as best as she could. Everyone had practiced so hard for the upcoming concert and they were all so stressed. She knew that she couldn’t let her health get in the way of the rehearsals. If she did, she would cause everyone (especially her eight sisters) even more stress and she absolutely did not want that to happen.
“Sooyoung? Are you okay? You haven’t been hitting the beat lately. Do you need a water break?” Hyoyeon held a water bottle to Sooyoung’s face, urging her to take it.
Sooyoung shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m fine! Don’t worry about it.”
“B-But… You look lik-” Hyoyeon was interrupted by the opening of a door.
“I WANT TO SEE MY NOONAS, HYUNGS, AND DONGSENGS DANCE~!” Jonghyun entered the room with a large grin on his face. Changmin, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Leeteuk, Yesung, Jessica, Taeyeon, Sunny, Onew, and Key were also with him.
“YEAH! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING FROM US? SHOW US YOUR MOVES!” The clearly hyper Leeteuk exclaimed.
Sooyoung noticed that Kyuhyun had been staring at her ever since he entered the room. Feeling the blush that was burning up her cheeks, Sooyoung shyly waved at him. In return, Kyuhyun simply nodded in her direction before turning around to talk to Changmin. Sooyoung felt a bit hurt by his actions.
“Did I do something wrong?” She wondered.
“OKAY! NOW! I WILL SHOW YOU THE HOTTEST DANCE PERFORMANCE EVER! WHY IS IT SO HOT? IT”S BECAUSE ME, EUNHYUK, THE HOTTEST DANCER THERE IS, IS IN IT. THAT’S RIGHT!” Hyoyeon smacked him in the head with her water bottle.
“OW! That hurts like hell Hyoyeon-ah!” Eunhyuk playfully pulled on Hyoyeon‘s ponytail as revenge.
“That’s what you get for being so arrogant.” Hyoyeon smacked his arm.
Ingoring her comment, Eunhyuk went to the middle of room and loudly clapped his hands to get everyone‘s attention. “ALRIGHT EVERYONE LET’S GET INTO POSITION! WE MUST SHOW OUR AUDIENCE A SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE! HEY. YOU. DONGHAE! STOP FLIRTING WITH JESSICA AND GET IN POSITION!!!”
“Aish… Got to go Jess. Monkey-face is jealous of our love again.” Donghae rolled his eyes before giving Jessica a peck on the cheek. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” She smiled at him.
“I’ll miss you more.”
“No, I’ll miss you more.”
“No, me.”
“No, I will.”
“AISH! HE’LL MISS YOU. I’LL MISS YOU. YOU’LL MISS HIM. WE’LL MISS EACH OTHER. COME HERE DONGHAE, NOW.” Everyone in the room can see why fans loves the EunHae pairing. They’re ridiculously funny and cute together.
Once everyone in the dance team was in position, Eunhyuk gave Yesung the cue to turn on the music.
♫ I party like a rock star. Look like a movie star. Play like an all star. ♫
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GGVu_ch9EE ~ staring at 0:44!)
* Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. *
Eunhyuk and Taemin moved to the sides as Sooyoung, Luna, Yuri, Yoona, and Hyoyeon graced the “stage” with their moves.
Wolf whistles and cheers echoed in the room during the girls’ performance. Everyone was simply in awe with their moves.
While everyone was cheering for the girls, Kyuhyun frowned in anxiety as he followed Sooyoung with his eyes. He didn’t fail to notice how pale and fragile she looked. He had to find the urge to stop performance and take her into his arms.
♫ Go girl, go girl. Go girl, go girl. Go girl, go girl. ♫
Kyuhyun shifted in his sitting position, prepared to stand up and quickly move to Sooyoung’s side if anything happened to her. He just knew that something was bound to happen.
While dancing, Sooyoung felt her heart beating faster than usual and her headache was becoming unbearable.
“What’s happening to me…? I feel so weak…”
She felt herself sweating much more than usual, but at the same time, she also felt abnormally cold.
“Ugh… I don’t feel so good…”
During the train (1:35), the sudden pain in her chest made her slightly cringed thus causing her to miss a few dance steps. Kyuhyun almost stood up when he saw her faltered.
When it was time to switch positions, Sooyoung stood in one place. Her vision was getting blurry and her mind was now in ruins. She couldn’t even think without being in pain.
Luna almost bumped into her. “Unnie?” She whispered.
Sooyoung saw everything in the room relentlessly whirled around her as she hyperventilated.
“I can’t breathe…”
Yesung stopped the music and everyone in the room devoted their attention to Sooyoung, apparent worry painted on their faces.
“SOOYOUNG!” Sunny screamed.
At that point, Sooyoung already knew she fainting as she felt her body falling onto the ground, but before being engulfed by darkness, she felt a familiar strong pair of arms embracing her.
“How strange... I feel so warm now…”
The last thing she saw was a set of intense brown eyes staring at her.
She made a mental note to thank that brown-eyed person, whoever he or she was.
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Seoul Hospital…
The rest of SNSD were all anxiously pacing back and forth in the hospital’s waiting room as the rest of Super Junior sat on the chairs.
“Guys… Sit down… You’re not helping Sooyoung if you guys keep walking around like that.” Siwon pointed out.
“We can’t help it. We’re all worried about her.” Yuri pressed her ear against the door, trying to hear what the Doctor was saying to Kyuhyun.
“Aish.. Who does he think he is?! I should have been in there! I’m closer to her than he ever is!” Yoona frowned.
“I should have paid more attention to Unnie… I should have noticed how sick she looked instead of constantly practicing for the concert… I should have been a better dongseng…” Seohyun’s eyes were full of tears.
Jessica hugged her. “It’s not your fault. All of us should have been more aware of Sooyoung‘s condition.”
“How is she doing Doctor?” Taeyeon questioned the doctor the moment he stepped out of the Sooyoung’s hospital room.
“Considering her condition, she’s doing quite fine. She was on the borderline of becoming anorexic so it‘s quite a relief that we have discovered her condition before it worsens.”
Almost everyone in the room sighed in relief. Their shikskin was going to be alright.
“Wait… What?! Anorexic? She can’t be anorexic! She’s the shikskin of our group!” Tiffany’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Miss, if you recall, I told you that she was on the borderline of becoming anorexic, not that she is anorexic. Are you guys aware that Miss Choi Sooyoung weighs exactly 91 pounds? That’s very dangerous considering that she’s 44 pounds away from the ideal weight for her height. I understand that she‘s an idol and she has an image to keep, but really, if she continues being 91 pounds at 5‘7, we have no choice but to dub her as anorexic, put her on several medications, and send her to physical therapy.”
Everyone in the room was speechless as they tried to process everything that the doctor told them. They couldn’t believe what he was saying. Sooyoung, the Food Goddess, and the term anorexic definitely does not fit in the same sentence.
“How are you so sure that she is anorexic?” questioned Ryeowook.
The doctor cocked his eyebrow at him. “Well, if her weight isn’t enough proof…The young man in there told me all the symptoms that Miss Choi has been experiencing. These symptoms include lack of energy and nutrition, weakness, dizziness, headaches, fainting, chest pain, and feeling cold all the time. Let’s thank God that Miss Sooyoung hasn’t been throwing up her food. If she did, she surely be anorexic.”
“Is there any way we help her steer away from becoming anorexic?”
“Of course. Just make sure she receives her regular servings of food everyday. Also, make sure she doesn’t skip any meals and do not, I repeat do not, allow her to resume her activities until she gained at least 10 more pounds.”
“Regular servings of food to her is at least 3-5 plates of food EACH meal. Gaining 10 pounds would be easy for her at the rate she is eating!” Everyone can’t help but to laugh at Sunny’s remarks.
“Can we go in and see her Doctor?” asked Jessica.
“I’m afraid not. Because of the size of her room she has, hospital rules clearly state that only one person is allowed at a time. You guys will have to wait until that young man is finished in order to enter.”
“But he has been there ever since Sooyoung entered that room, which was 3 hours ago! He’s never going to leave!” exclaimed Hyoyeon.
“I’m sorry Miss. There‘s nothing I can do.”
“Hmm.. I never knew Kyuhyunnie was this close to Sooyoungie…” pondered Sungmin.
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Inside Sooyoung’s hospital room….
“You know… You really are an idiot. Why would you want to starve yourself? Do you want to die? You already have the perfect body figure, what more do you want?” Kyuhyun stroked her face with the backside of his hand.
“Aish… I can’t believe I’m in love with someone as stupid as you, but then again, I’m stupid myself when I didn’t notice something was wrong when I saw you throwing away the patbingsoo I bought for you.” He entwined his hand with hers, gently squeezing her hand in the process.
“D-Did I ever tell you how sorry I was for doing that?” Sooyoung’s voice was merely a raspy whisper.
“Oh… You’re awake.” Kyuhyun tried to sound as normal as he can, but in truth, he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and give her the biggest hug that he can. He was worried sick when she fainted.
“Care to tell me why you have been starving yourself?“ She smiled weakly at him.
“It’s nothing.” Sooyoung looked at the wall behind Kyuhyun instead of his face.
“This isn’t nothing Soo. Are you aware of much you weigh?” At this point, he now wanted to slap her silly.
“No…?” She tried to sound as innocent as she could.
“Soo, look at me and tell me what’s wrong.” His staring brown eyes were starting to weaken her.
“Make me!”
“Soo, you’re being childish.”
She sat up. “I don’t want to tell you…” She looked down as her hands.
“Soo…” Sooyoung knew he wouldn’t stop until he heard the words that he wanted to hear from her. That’s what she hated about him the most, he was damn persistent.
“Tell me what’s wrong Soo. You know that I‘m here for you.” Kyuhyun was now sitting on her hospital bed, cupping her face in his hands so that way she was forced to make eye contact with him. Sooyoung knew she had already lost.
“I-I-I…” One by one, tears started dripping from her pale face.
Kyuhyun wiped her tears away with his hand, pulled her body closer to his, and wrapped his arms around her. Sooyoung began soaking his shirt as she sobbed into his chest.
“All my fans hate me…” She mumbled against his chest.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ever since our fan meeting in Coex Mall… My fans have converted into antis when they thought I did plastic surgery, but in reality, I only had a new hairstyle and more make-up on my face.” She softly whimpered. He hugged her tighter.
“I thought… if I ate less… The fat on my cheeks would disappear and I would gain a better body figure… I thought if I went on a diet and lost weight… I’ll gain back all the fans I lost.” Kyuhyun gently stroked her back, calming her sobs down to small sniffles.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Huh?” Sooyoung pushed herself from Kyuhyun and looked at him quizzically in the eyes.
“You’re an idiot. A really big idiot as a matter of fact. You’re such an idiot that you can possibly make people around you be influenced by your stupidity thus making themselves also be on the same level as idiocy as y-”
Sooyoung slapped him on the arm. “What’s your point?!”
He sighed as he once again cupped her face in his hands. “You’re beautiful the way you are. You don’t need to go on a diet nor do you need fans to tell you that you’re beautiful. They aren’t true fans if they don’t love you for who you are, and they‘re blind idiots if they can‘t tell the difference between a haircut and plastic surgery.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about… I’m not beautiful at all! If I was beautiful as Yoona and Jessica, I would have more fans! Have you seen the type of fans I have? All ajusshis!”
Kyuhyun softly chuckled at her remarks as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “You know that’s not true.”
“It is true!”
“Is not.”
“It is!” She punched him on the chest.
“It’s not true.” Kyuhyun held both of her balled-up fists with his hands.
“IT I-” Interrupting her, Kyuhyun gently pressed his lips against hers. As he began to deepen the kiss, Sooyoung unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
After a minute passed, Sooyoung knew that Kyuhyun stopped the kiss when she felt his hot breath fanning her face. “Choi Sooyoung is the most beautiful, natural member in Girls‘ Generation, inside and out. I love her very much and I always will, no matter what happens. I’ll always stand by her side through the good times and the bad times because that’s what a real fan is. Sooyoung-sshi, don’t let these negative comments affect you and remember to keep on smiling. You’re the prettiest when you’re smiling! Cheerful Princess Sooyoung fighting!”
She gasped. “YOU WROTE THAT?”
“I told you that not all your fans are ajusshis! Look at me! I’m your fan and do I look like an ajusshi to you?! Also, I‘ve looked at your fan cafe before! What the hell are you talking about? The majority of fans in there were high schoolers and college students! And the fans that you lost? Pfft, the fans that you gained in the last few days triples that amount. Tsk, you should be more updated with your fan café.” He wagged his finger in the air, pretending to scold her. She felt her heart rejoicing in happiness when she heard what he said.
“But wait a minute, earlier… Did my hearing malfunction or did I just hear you say that you love me?!” Sooyoung’s eyes were as big as an owl’s.
He smirked at her. “You’re really dense, you know that?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Pfft… How was I supposed to know!”
“…..You mean you haven’t noticed the hints I’ve been dropping for the last month and a half?” Kyuhyun mentally slapped himself.
“What hints?! All I remember was the patbingsoo you gave me a couple days ago!”
“THE PATBINGSOO WHICH YOU THREW AWAY! & OH MY GOD, YOU REALLY DIDN‘T NOTICE THEM!”
“Ehehehe…” She scratched her head.
“Anyways… I want you to immediately stop this ridiculous diet you’re on. I find it absolutely amazing that a shikskin managed to starve herself despite being gluttonous.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m more than glad to. I’m never going on such a diet again! You don’t know how hungry I was!”
“Good.” Kyuhyun patted her head.
“And Kyuhyun?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you and I love you too.” Before he knew it, Sooyoung’s lips were on his. While she deepens the kiss, he laced his fingers through hers as he used his other hand to stroke her hair.
Sooyoung finally pulled apart when oxygen becomes vital. Staring straight at him, she asks, “Once I get discharged, will you please take me to a buffet? I’m really really really really hungry! My stomach has been growling non-stop ever since I woke up!”
Chuckling, Kyuhyun gave her a peck on the cheek. “It looks like SNSD’s skikskin is back.”
“And she’s glad to be back.” She grinned as she leaned forward, initiating another kiss between them.
They were unaware that the rest of SNSD and Super Junior were outside, eavesdropping on them through the crack of the door.
A/N: My grammar is getting so bad lately. T ^ T ! I think it's time for me to go back to school... D:
This fanfic was inspired by this allkpop article -> http://www.allkpop.com/2010/08/netizens-suspect-sooyoung-of-getting-plastic-surgery
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‘Plastic bitch.’
‘Look at her. Her nose and lips just defines plastic surgery.’
‘Ha, I can’t believe she was my favorite in SNSD. This is so disappointing. I’m going back to being Yoona-biased.’
‘Sooyoung-unnie, I’m so disappointed in you…’
Sooyoung felt tears brimming her eyes as she looked saw the numerous amounts of negative comments in her fancafe, but reminding herself that she was on a quick bathroom break from the SM Town rehearsal, she quickly wiped them away as she continued looking through the comments, hoping to see at least one fan that doesn‘t hate her.
“I don’t understand… How did weight gain and a haircut cause my fans to become antis…? Maybe I should stop eating at night and go on a diet again…” Tears immediately filled Sooyoung’s eyes once again as she saw the population of her fan café rapidly decreasing by the second. It was like a stab to her heart, over and over again.
“I’m losing all of my fans… What do I do…?” She couldn’t help but to let out a small sob as she curled herself into a ball on the bathroom floor.
“Sooyoung unnie! Where are you? You’ve been gone for an awfully long time…”
Hearing Seohyun’s calls, Sooyoung quickly wiped off her already spilled tears from her face, tucked her cellphone into her back pocket, and stood up. She knew she couldn’t let her group members see her like this. She knew she couldn’t be a burden to them especially when the SMTown Concerts and the Japan showcases are just around the corner. She knew she had to be strong (even though it was so damn hard for her to) for the sake of her members’.
“Unnie? Are you in the bathroom?” Seohyun’s voice was tainted with worry.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” Sooyoung hoped that Seohyun didn’t notice the strain in her voice.
She was just about to exit the bathroom until she heard a loud ‘clank!’ Her cellphone dropped.
Sooyoung picked her cellphone up and what she saw on the screen surprised her.
‘Choi Sooyoung is the most beautiful, natural member in Girls‘ Generation, inside and out. I love her very much and I always will, no matter what happens!!! I’ll always stand by her side through the good times and the bad times because that’s what a real fan is!!! Sooyoung-shii, don’t let these negative comments affect you and remember to keep on smiling. You’re the prettiest when you’re smiling! Cheerful Princess Sooyoung fighting!!! ^^ kekeke’
Sooyoung immediately felt a smile tugging her lips and her heart warming up. “At least there is one fan who still believes in me…”
“Sooyoung unnie?!”
Sooyoung immediately tucked her cellphone into her back pocket as she ran out of the bathroom, linked arms with Seohyun and apologized for her long disappearance. With the biggest smile plastered on her tear-stained face, she walked with Seohyun back into the practice room, where the rest of the group was practicing.
Stand strong and smile Choi Sooyoung. You took numerous acting lessons. Just use your acting skills to fake your smiles. Don’t be selfish and be a burden to your members. You can get through this.
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Two weeks later, SNSD‘s dorm…
Jessica was just about to put another stack of pancakes on Sooyoung’s plate until Sooyoung quickly stood up and placed her dishes in the sink. “Sooyoung, don’t you want another helping of pancakes? You always do.”
“It’s okay. I’m really not that hungry. Thanks anyways.” Sooyoung swore she heard her stomach screaming in agony.
“Oh god, the world is ending! The food goddess doesn’t want to eat! YAH! What kind of food goddess are you?! You have been rejecting food left and right for two weeks straight! You‘re disgracing your own nickname! Go eat and redeem it!” Yuri grabbed Sooyoung‘s shoulders and started shaking her viciously.
“Are you okay Soo? Do you want to talk about it? It’s not like you to reject food.” Tiffany placed her hand on Sooyoung’s forehead to make sure that she isn’t burning up a fever.
Sooyoung moved away from Tiffany, making sure that she isn‘t making any eye contact with her. “I’m fine. I just don’t feel like eating. If you excuse me, I feel really tired so I’m going to go take a small nap before going to practice.”
Sooyoung went into the room she shared with Jessica and closed the door behind her.
Yuri, Tiffany, and Jessica all stared at each other with apparent worry on their faces.
What ever happened to their loveable shikshin?
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Sooyoung heavily sighed as she sat down on her bed.
Looking at herself in the mirror that was on her nightstand, she noticed that her cheeks were decreasing in size, but she failed to notice the gigantic eye bags that adorned her eyes and how incredibly pale and weak she looked.
“It’s working… I knew eating less and skipping meals would cause me to lose weight…”
Sooyoung went over to the weight scale and almost rejoiced in happiness as she saw that she was now 95 pounds. She was even skinner than Sunny, the lightest and shortest person in SNSD.
“I hope I can gain back all the fans that I lost…”
Smiling weakily, Sooyoung stepped down from the scale, but almost lost her balance as she felt sudden dizziness and the room spinning around her. “Aish… Hopefully, a nap will cure this...”
Sooyoung laid down on her bed, wrapped herself in her blanket, and allowed sleep to engulf her.
See Sooyoung? You can solve your own problems without being a burden to others. You just lost 15 pounds in two weeks and look at how you look now, better than ever. Your fans will love you. Keep it up. You can do this.
---------------------------------------------------------
The Next Day, SM Entertainment Building…
“Hey! Choi Sooyoung! Wait up!” Sooyoung turned around to see Kyuhyun running up to her.
Panting, Kyuhyun waved a plastic bag in front of Sooyoung’s face. “Eung? What’s this?”
Smiling, Kyuhyun exclaimed, “Patbingsoo* of course! I was at the café earlier with Sungmin-Hyung and I remembered how much you loved patbingsoo so I bought some for you.” Kyuhyun hoped that she didn’t see the blush that was creeping onto his face.
(A/N: Patbingsoo is a Korean dessert that consists of shaved ice and condensed milk! It's also usually topped with fruit, red bean, and ice cream! It's really, really delicious and perfect for the hot summer weather! http://www.julielimblog.com/junkfood-for-your-soul-pat-bing-soo/)
“Yah! Who are you and what have you done with Cho Kyuhyun? The Cho Kyuhyun that I know of was never this nice to me!” She playfully poked his cheek.
Kyuhyun cocked an eyebrow as he gently slapped away her hand. “What’s wrong with being nice?”
She shook her head and smiled at him. “It’s nothing. I’m just not used to you not teasing me and us not getting into a fight every time we talk to each other.”
Her smile made his heart beat at least 50 times faster.
“Well… I’m not always the evil mangae you know. I also do have a nice side.” Kyuhyun flicked her forehead.
“My god… You’re like Jacob Black in Twilight! Instead of having the abilities to turn into a werewolf, you have the abilities to transform from an evil mangae to a nice person. That’s really amazing but yet creepy at the same time!” Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to chuckle at her remarks.
“You’re right. I’m not like Jacob Black, I’m hotter than he will ever be.” Kyuhyun cockily smirked at her.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU? HOTTER THAN TAYLOR LAUNTER? KEEP DREAMING!” He has never failed to make her laugh with his witty jokes.
He always loved hearing her laugh. “I have to go practice now. Leeteuk-Hyung will slice off my head if I’m late. Enjoy the patbingsoo!” Kyuhyun shoved the bag into her hands and messed up her hair before running away in the opposite direction.
“ACK, MY HAIR! YAH! COME BACK HERE!” Sooyoung heard his deep voice booming with laughter.
Smiling at his disappearing back, Sooyoung felt her heart tingling with happiness. “Kyuhyun…I really do like you…”
Looking at the plastic bag in her hands, she let out a heavy sigh as she went to the closest trashcan she could find and dumped the patbingsoo that Kyuhyun bought her in it. “Kyuhyun… Please forgive me… I really do like you… But I can’t afford to wreck the diet I’m on… I’m really sorry…”
She was unaware that Kyuhyun had seen everything.
---------------------------------------------------------
Four days later, SM Entertainment’s Practice Room…
“5 6 7 8. 1 2 3 4. Slide. Pop and Lock. Pelvic thrust. Clap and snap. & repeat.” Sooyoung, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Luna, Victoria, Donghae, Shindong, Eunhyuk, Minho, and Taemin were practicing nonstop for the SMTown’s dance battle. After all, practice makes perfect as the famous saying would quote.
Sooyoung felt in shambles as she danced. She never felt so weak and lightheaded (and ridiculously hungry) in her life, but she knew she has to rehearse as best as she could. Everyone had practiced so hard for the upcoming concert and they were all so stressed. She knew that she couldn’t let her health get in the way of the rehearsals. If she did, she would cause everyone (especially her eight sisters) even more stress and she absolutely did not want that to happen.
“Sooyoung? Are you okay? You haven’t been hitting the beat lately. Do you need a water break?” Hyoyeon held a water bottle to Sooyoung’s face, urging her to take it.
Sooyoung shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m fine! Don’t worry about it.”
“B-But… You look lik-” Hyoyeon was interrupted by the opening of a door.
“I WANT TO SEE MY NOONAS, HYUNGS, AND DONGSENGS DANCE~!” Jonghyun entered the room with a large grin on his face. Changmin, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Leeteuk, Yesung, Jessica, Taeyeon, Sunny, Onew, and Key were also with him.
“YEAH! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING FROM US? SHOW US YOUR MOVES!” The clearly hyper Leeteuk exclaimed.
Sooyoung noticed that Kyuhyun had been staring at her ever since he entered the room. Feeling the blush that was burning up her cheeks, Sooyoung shyly waved at him. In return, Kyuhyun simply nodded in her direction before turning around to talk to Changmin. Sooyoung felt a bit hurt by his actions.
“Did I do something wrong?” She wondered.
“OKAY! NOW! I WILL SHOW YOU THE HOTTEST DANCE PERFORMANCE EVER! WHY IS IT SO HOT? IT”S BECAUSE ME, EUNHYUK, THE HOTTEST DANCER THERE IS, IS IN IT. THAT’S RIGHT!” Hyoyeon smacked him in the head with her water bottle.
“OW! That hurts like hell Hyoyeon-ah!” Eunhyuk playfully pulled on Hyoyeon‘s ponytail as revenge.
“That’s what you get for being so arrogant.” Hyoyeon smacked his arm.
Ingoring her comment, Eunhyuk went to the middle of room and loudly clapped his hands to get everyone‘s attention. “ALRIGHT EVERYONE LET’S GET INTO POSITION! WE MUST SHOW OUR AUDIENCE A SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE! HEY. YOU. DONGHAE! STOP FLIRTING WITH JESSICA AND GET IN POSITION!!!”
“Aish… Got to go Jess. Monkey-face is jealous of our love again.” Donghae rolled his eyes before giving Jessica a peck on the cheek. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” She smiled at him.
“I’ll miss you more.”
“No, I’ll miss you more.”
“No, me.”
“No, I will.”
“AISH! HE’LL MISS YOU. I’LL MISS YOU. YOU’LL MISS HIM. WE’LL MISS EACH OTHER. COME HERE DONGHAE, NOW.” Everyone in the room can see why fans loves the EunHae pairing. They’re ridiculously funny and cute together.
Once everyone in the dance team was in position, Eunhyuk gave Yesung the cue to turn on the music.
♫ I party like a rock star. Look like a movie star. Play like an all star. ♫
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GGVu_ch9EE ~ staring at 0:44!)
* Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. *
Eunhyuk and Taemin moved to the sides as Sooyoung, Luna, Yuri, Yoona, and Hyoyeon graced the “stage” with their moves.
Wolf whistles and cheers echoed in the room during the girls’ performance. Everyone was simply in awe with their moves.
While everyone was cheering for the girls, Kyuhyun frowned in anxiety as he followed Sooyoung with his eyes. He didn’t fail to notice how pale and fragile she looked. He had to find the urge to stop performance and take her into his arms.
♫ Go girl, go girl. Go girl, go girl. Go girl, go girl. ♫
Kyuhyun shifted in his sitting position, prepared to stand up and quickly move to Sooyoung’s side if anything happened to her. He just knew that something was bound to happen.
While dancing, Sooyoung felt her heart beating faster than usual and her headache was becoming unbearable.
“What’s happening to me…? I feel so weak…”
She felt herself sweating much more than usual, but at the same time, she also felt abnormally cold.
“Ugh… I don’t feel so good…”
During the train (1:35), the sudden pain in her chest made her slightly cringed thus causing her to miss a few dance steps. Kyuhyun almost stood up when he saw her faltered.
When it was time to switch positions, Sooyoung stood in one place. Her vision was getting blurry and her mind was now in ruins. She couldn’t even think without being in pain.
Luna almost bumped into her. “Unnie?” She whispered.
Sooyoung saw everything in the room relentlessly whirled around her as she hyperventilated.
“I can’t breathe…”
Yesung stopped the music and everyone in the room devoted their attention to Sooyoung, apparent worry painted on their faces.
“SOOYOUNG!” Sunny screamed.
At that point, Sooyoung already knew she fainting as she felt her body falling onto the ground, but before being engulfed by darkness, she felt a familiar strong pair of arms embracing her.
“How strange... I feel so warm now…”
The last thing she saw was a set of intense brown eyes staring at her.
She made a mental note to thank that brown-eyed person, whoever he or she was.
---------------------------------------------------------
Seoul Hospital…
The rest of SNSD were all anxiously pacing back and forth in the hospital’s waiting room as the rest of Super Junior sat on the chairs.
“Guys… Sit down… You’re not helping Sooyoung if you guys keep walking around like that.” Siwon pointed out.
“We can’t help it. We’re all worried about her.” Yuri pressed her ear against the door, trying to hear what the Doctor was saying to Kyuhyun.
“Aish.. Who does he think he is?! I should have been in there! I’m closer to her than he ever is!” Yoona frowned.
“I should have paid more attention to Unnie… I should have noticed how sick she looked instead of constantly practicing for the concert… I should have been a better dongseng…” Seohyun’s eyes were full of tears.
Jessica hugged her. “It’s not your fault. All of us should have been more aware of Sooyoung‘s condition.”
“How is she doing Doctor?” Taeyeon questioned the doctor the moment he stepped out of the Sooyoung’s hospital room.
“Considering her condition, she’s doing quite fine. She was on the borderline of becoming anorexic so it‘s quite a relief that we have discovered her condition before it worsens.”
Almost everyone in the room sighed in relief. Their shikskin was going to be alright.
“Wait… What?! Anorexic? She can’t be anorexic! She’s the shikskin of our group!” Tiffany’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Miss, if you recall, I told you that she was on the borderline of becoming anorexic, not that she is anorexic. Are you guys aware that Miss Choi Sooyoung weighs exactly 91 pounds? That’s very dangerous considering that she’s 44 pounds away from the ideal weight for her height. I understand that she‘s an idol and she has an image to keep, but really, if she continues being 91 pounds at 5‘7, we have no choice but to dub her as anorexic, put her on several medications, and send her to physical therapy.”
Everyone in the room was speechless as they tried to process everything that the doctor told them. They couldn’t believe what he was saying. Sooyoung, the Food Goddess, and the term anorexic definitely does not fit in the same sentence.
“How are you so sure that she is anorexic?” questioned Ryeowook.
The doctor cocked his eyebrow at him. “Well, if her weight isn’t enough proof…The young man in there told me all the symptoms that Miss Choi has been experiencing. These symptoms include lack of energy and nutrition, weakness, dizziness, headaches, fainting, chest pain, and feeling cold all the time. Let’s thank God that Miss Sooyoung hasn’t been throwing up her food. If she did, she surely be anorexic.”
“Is there any way we help her steer away from becoming anorexic?”
“Of course. Just make sure she receives her regular servings of food everyday. Also, make sure she doesn’t skip any meals and do not, I repeat do not, allow her to resume her activities until she gained at least 10 more pounds.”
“Regular servings of food to her is at least 3-5 plates of food EACH meal. Gaining 10 pounds would be easy for her at the rate she is eating!” Everyone can’t help but to laugh at Sunny’s remarks.
“Can we go in and see her Doctor?” asked Jessica.
“I’m afraid not. Because of the size of her room she has, hospital rules clearly state that only one person is allowed at a time. You guys will have to wait until that young man is finished in order to enter.”
“But he has been there ever since Sooyoung entered that room, which was 3 hours ago! He’s never going to leave!” exclaimed Hyoyeon.
“I’m sorry Miss. There‘s nothing I can do.”
“Hmm.. I never knew Kyuhyunnie was this close to Sooyoungie…” pondered Sungmin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Inside Sooyoung’s hospital room….
“You know… You really are an idiot. Why would you want to starve yourself? Do you want to die? You already have the perfect body figure, what more do you want?” Kyuhyun stroked her face with the backside of his hand.
“Aish… I can’t believe I’m in love with someone as stupid as you, but then again, I’m stupid myself when I didn’t notice something was wrong when I saw you throwing away the patbingsoo I bought for you.” He entwined his hand with hers, gently squeezing her hand in the process.
“D-Did I ever tell you how sorry I was for doing that?” Sooyoung’s voice was merely a raspy whisper.
“Oh… You’re awake.” Kyuhyun tried to sound as normal as he can, but in truth, he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and give her the biggest hug that he can. He was worried sick when she fainted.
“Care to tell me why you have been starving yourself?“ She smiled weakly at him.
“It’s nothing.” Sooyoung looked at the wall behind Kyuhyun instead of his face.
“This isn’t nothing Soo. Are you aware of much you weigh?” At this point, he now wanted to slap her silly.
“No…?” She tried to sound as innocent as she could.
“Soo, look at me and tell me what’s wrong.” His staring brown eyes were starting to weaken her.
“Make me!”
“Soo, you’re being childish.”
She sat up. “I don’t want to tell you…” She looked down as her hands.
“Soo…” Sooyoung knew he wouldn’t stop until he heard the words that he wanted to hear from her. That’s what she hated about him the most, he was damn persistent.
“Tell me what’s wrong Soo. You know that I‘m here for you.” Kyuhyun was now sitting on her hospital bed, cupping her face in his hands so that way she was forced to make eye contact with him. Sooyoung knew she had already lost.
“I-I-I…” One by one, tears started dripping from her pale face.
Kyuhyun wiped her tears away with his hand, pulled her body closer to his, and wrapped his arms around her. Sooyoung began soaking his shirt as she sobbed into his chest.
“All my fans hate me…” She mumbled against his chest.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ever since our fan meeting in Coex Mall… My fans have converted into antis when they thought I did plastic surgery, but in reality, I only had a new hairstyle and more make-up on my face.” She softly whimpered. He hugged her tighter.
“I thought… if I ate less… The fat on my cheeks would disappear and I would gain a better body figure… I thought if I went on a diet and lost weight… I’ll gain back all the fans I lost.” Kyuhyun gently stroked her back, calming her sobs down to small sniffles.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Huh?” Sooyoung pushed herself from Kyuhyun and looked at him quizzically in the eyes.
“You’re an idiot. A really big idiot as a matter of fact. You’re such an idiot that you can possibly make people around you be influenced by your stupidity thus making themselves also be on the same level as idiocy as y-”
Sooyoung slapped him on the arm. “What’s your point?!”
He sighed as he once again cupped her face in his hands. “You’re beautiful the way you are. You don’t need to go on a diet nor do you need fans to tell you that you’re beautiful. They aren’t true fans if they don’t love you for who you are, and they‘re blind idiots if they can‘t tell the difference between a haircut and plastic surgery.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about… I’m not beautiful at all! If I was beautiful as Yoona and Jessica, I would have more fans! Have you seen the type of fans I have? All ajusshis!”
Kyuhyun softly chuckled at her remarks as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “You know that’s not true.”
“It is true!”
“Is not.”
“It is!” She punched him on the chest.
“It’s not true.” Kyuhyun held both of her balled-up fists with his hands.
“IT I-” Interrupting her, Kyuhyun gently pressed his lips against hers. As he began to deepen the kiss, Sooyoung unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
After a minute passed, Sooyoung knew that Kyuhyun stopped the kiss when she felt his hot breath fanning her face. “Choi Sooyoung is the most beautiful, natural member in Girls‘ Generation, inside and out. I love her very much and I always will, no matter what happens. I’ll always stand by her side through the good times and the bad times because that’s what a real fan is. Sooyoung-sshi, don’t let these negative comments affect you and remember to keep on smiling. You’re the prettiest when you’re smiling! Cheerful Princess Sooyoung fighting!”
She gasped. “YOU WROTE THAT?”
“I told you that not all your fans are ajusshis! Look at me! I’m your fan and do I look like an ajusshi to you?! Also, I‘ve looked at your fan cafe before! What the hell are you talking about? The majority of fans in there were high schoolers and college students! And the fans that you lost? Pfft, the fans that you gained in the last few days triples that amount. Tsk, you should be more updated with your fan café.” He wagged his finger in the air, pretending to scold her. She felt her heart rejoicing in happiness when she heard what he said.
“But wait a minute, earlier… Did my hearing malfunction or did I just hear you say that you love me?!” Sooyoung’s eyes were as big as an owl’s.
He smirked at her. “You’re really dense, you know that?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Pfft… How was I supposed to know!”
“…..You mean you haven’t noticed the hints I’ve been dropping for the last month and a half?” Kyuhyun mentally slapped himself.
“What hints?! All I remember was the patbingsoo you gave me a couple days ago!”
“THE PATBINGSOO WHICH YOU THREW AWAY! & OH MY GOD, YOU REALLY DIDN‘T NOTICE THEM!”
“Ehehehe…” She scratched her head.
“Anyways… I want you to immediately stop this ridiculous diet you’re on. I find it absolutely amazing that a shikskin managed to starve herself despite being gluttonous.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m more than glad to. I’m never going on such a diet again! You don’t know how hungry I was!”
“Good.” Kyuhyun patted her head.
“And Kyuhyun?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you and I love you too.” Before he knew it, Sooyoung’s lips were on his. While she deepens the kiss, he laced his fingers through hers as he used his other hand to stroke her hair.
Sooyoung finally pulled apart when oxygen becomes vital. Staring straight at him, she asks, “Once I get discharged, will you please take me to a buffet? I’m really really really really hungry! My stomach has been growling non-stop ever since I woke up!”
Chuckling, Kyuhyun gave her a peck on the cheek. “It looks like SNSD’s skikskin is back.”
“And she’s glad to be back.” She grinned as she leaned forward, initiating another kiss between them.
They were unaware that the rest of SNSD and Super Junior were outside, eavesdropping on them through the crack of the door.