i dont care what their saying as long as im your girl.
sometimes i drive so fast just to feel the danger.
i wanna scream; it makes me feel alive.
the past few days have been awesome but at the same time terrible. dont you hate when things are going sooo good and then all of a sudden one stupid mistake fucks up everything? yeah well that was deffinetly what happened to me. tuesday my dad called me out of school early so me and blake rented the notebook and got tacobell and watched it at her house. then ryan came over to give us a present=) lol. we took some pics that turned out really bad lol. we were tryin to look cute;and um ya it just didnt work out haha. but here are some of those pics.. dont laugh assholes!
haha. wow. anyways so that was alot more fun then goin to my 4-6 hours. then blake dropped me off at home and i realized i wasnt feeling very well. but autumn came over anyways, cuz my mom rented the notebook and autumn and i were supposed to watch it. well since i had already watched it 2 hours earlier there was no way in hell i was gonna b able to watch it again. so i let autumn and my mom watch it , and all i could hear the whole time was autumn and my mom balling there eyes out, it was funny. but then i kept feeling more and more sick. so i told my mom i needed to go to the doctors, since my mom is a lazy person and it was 8 at night she said to have my dad take me in the morning and i just wouldnt go to school. well turns out my dad has this huge meeting tomorrow and cant, so my mom decided to take a day off of work so she could nurse me back to health. the next morning i wake up and my mom takes autumn to school and then comes back and takes me to the doctors, deffinetly there for 3 hours! grr i was so mad. and there was this old gpa who was deaf or something so he was talking so loud in my ear and he was chomping on these peanut things that smelt so bad, so that just made my sickness like 75438975692376x worst. i finally get into oneills office and he tells me i have a nose infection, throat infection, lung infection, and chest infection. yippetyfuckinskippity. so he gives me this huge bottle of codine+ pills. ugh. oh and he tells me i cant go to school thursday (today) and i might not even b able to go friday. haha i was like YAAADOG. ohh and here are some pictures of me and my mother in the doctors office, she looks scarry and lets just say i was 'under the weather' so thats my excuse for looking grosse.
so after the 3hour doctor visit my mom decided to take me shoppin to make me feel better =) she bought me the CUTEST kate spade purse and matching wallet! i was very excited.
and then i got a new pair of abercrombie and fitch jeans, new makeup from sephora, and perfume. after shopping we went out to a nice little place for lunch, and it was a really good time. on our way home we rented some movies since i was gonna b home all alone today and so i wouldnt get bored =) my mom is very thoughtful. lol. ohhh and another reason i was really happy was because HE called me tuesday night at 1 in the morning apologizing for being a dick and saying that i didnt deserve it. it made me really happy just to hear his voice but at the same time i dont know if i can let myself keep falling for him when he has no intentions of catching me. hmm..! anyways back to the story.. so i got home and watched a movie but i couldnt fall asleep, so i decided to take a bubble bath. then i made THESTUPIDESTDECISION i could have ever made.and i got caught doing it. so that whole perfect day was shattered. the rest of the night was TERRIBLE. and when i say terrible, i mean terrible. i didnt sleep at all because all i could hear was my mom crying and blaming herself, when its not her fault. i kno i told her i would stop, but sometimes i feel like i cant. im done making excuses for myself. im done lieing to my parents and even to myself. i dont want to do it anymore, its not helping me, its not helping anyone. im not a bad person, so why do i act like one? there are so many questions i have that will never be answered. im just telling everyone that im done doing that stuff, im going to prove everyone wrong, i want to be my old self again. =) ok enough of that stuff... I kinda miss school, i dont know what to do with myself lol my dog wont even hang out with me haha. well i think this is a long enough entry. if your read all of that your amazing. lol ready, set, comment.! <3