The end of a new beginning?
im grounded again. i was ungrounded for exactly 1 month and i had to fuck it up again. saturday night was totally worth it tho. i really dont care if im grounded anymore. this will be my opportunity to focus on the things that really need to be getting done right now. like school, and work. i work 5 days this week, thank god. i dont wanna put up with my dads shit all week. so the more i work the better.
28 days until i leave for arizona. im supposed to come back january 8th, but i duno if thats gonna happen. i was thinking about staying when i go back. im doing really good out here but im completely miserable. then again i wanna stay because of how good im doing. i really like my job and im gonna be getting a raise soon. i think i could do a lot for the company. i might not even have the choice of coming back tho. my mom hates my dad with all that she has and she is sick of hearing all the sotires of how he treats me and my stepmom and my sisters. he always threatens to punch me in the face, or break my arm, etc. and she said if he even touches me shes gonna fly out here and kill him. i seriously wouldnt doubt it if she did. shes tried to kill him once before-when he killed me.
and even if my mom decides to let me come back, i STILL dont know if i will be allowed to. when my syepmom was taking me to work yesterday she said,"nicole, i told you that you could stay here as long as u didnt bring me bullshit, and this is bullshit". does that mean she isnt gonna let me come back?
IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. i dont know whether i should stay or go. i dont know if i even can. it really sux not knowing the answers to so many important questions. i have 28 days to decide for myself what i wanna do, and that might not even matter. i just really hope that im not grounded for these last few weeks. if i am then i wont get to spend time with any of the people i care about. if im not allowed to come back, then its like i never even got to say goodbye to anybody. i hate saying goodbye, but it would be better than nothing.
i moved here trying to have a new beginning. i fucked up REALLY bad in arizona and i have made a complete turn around. i have no doubt in my mind that i wont be able to maintain my good grades in az, its just a matter of if i want to. things are going good out here i suppose, but im just sick of all the drama that comes along with it. sure theres drama everywhere, but theres like 10x as much here as there is in AZ. people think they have it hard out here and complain over little things that wont even matter to them in 5 years. i just want everyone to be happy. and maybe if i wasnt here, you would be happier. u thought everything was gonna be much better when i moved down, but in reality its not.
28 days until i leave for arizona. im supposed to come back january 8th, but i duno if thats gonna happen. i was thinking about staying when i go back. im doing really good out here but im completely miserable. then again i wanna stay because of how good im doing. i really like my job and im gonna be getting a raise soon. i think i could do a lot for the company. i might not even have the choice of coming back tho. my mom hates my dad with all that she has and she is sick of hearing all the sotires of how he treats me and my stepmom and my sisters. he always threatens to punch me in the face, or break my arm, etc. and she said if he even touches me shes gonna fly out here and kill him. i seriously wouldnt doubt it if she did. shes tried to kill him once before-when he killed me.
and even if my mom decides to let me come back, i STILL dont know if i will be allowed to. when my syepmom was taking me to work yesterday she said,"nicole, i told you that you could stay here as long as u didnt bring me bullshit, and this is bullshit". does that mean she isnt gonna let me come back?
IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. i dont know whether i should stay or go. i dont know if i even can. it really sux not knowing the answers to so many important questions. i have 28 days to decide for myself what i wanna do, and that might not even matter. i just really hope that im not grounded for these last few weeks. if i am then i wont get to spend time with any of the people i care about. if im not allowed to come back, then its like i never even got to say goodbye to anybody. i hate saying goodbye, but it would be better than nothing.
i moved here trying to have a new beginning. i fucked up REALLY bad in arizona and i have made a complete turn around. i have no doubt in my mind that i wont be able to maintain my good grades in az, its just a matter of if i want to. things are going good out here i suppose, but im just sick of all the drama that comes along with it. sure theres drama everywhere, but theres like 10x as much here as there is in AZ. people think they have it hard out here and complain over little things that wont even matter to them in 5 years. i just want everyone to be happy. and maybe if i wasnt here, you would be happier. u thought everything was gonna be much better when i moved down, but in reality its not.