Well the beaver is dead but i'm not.
So now that its a couple days after the worse nite ever I've figured out what I wanted and i'm glad that I didn't go off and tell BHJ that I needed some space to figure some things out, even though I had typed it 4x last nite but never sent it. I never wanted things to be broken off btw us but not calling each other 30x a day b/c I was afraid of getting to involved. I finally got past that today and i'm fine with everything for once. I tend to focus on the things I still have a problem with and forget about all the things hes changed and made much better in my life. Odd how I was so contemplative for the past week then having a huge breakdown *it was not just crazy alcohol b/c i almost had it b4 the alcohol, it just aided in me being able to express myself* then fine all of a sudden and i know that hes not going to be able to understand this but I guess I'll just try to make it into an analogy. After I was driving home from his house out came this beaver type creature, we don't know what it was too big to be a muskrat had a bigger tail to have been a woodchuck, definately wasn't a rat but not a beaver lol but anyways i'm driving cruising i see this huge thing start walking out in the road and i'm like uhhh i think i'm going to hit it i hope he stops and i wasn't about to hit the breaks or really swerve i moved a lil then WHAMMY! i thought it was stuck under by car but really it went flying to the other side of the road. Killed it. So like this issue i just killed, ran it over w/my car. Not really an analogy but i saw a hunk of hair today on my broken under part of my car and I thought of this again.....Well i had a comment to make it all make sense but i just deleted it. It sounded way retarded.
So point of this is that I'm content again with things, I've put my mind to ease well at least for a while, I know that hes probably gunna be all upset w/this but I think that now I can actually explain what was going through my mind Friday nite. I am at the eye of my storm......
Alas...
OH and I must say Moe darling, you are amazing, I can just picture you parading in the gay parade with your lil tight boy shorts on that say on the butt like Italino and a shirt that is like tied in the front like take the bottom put it through the neck hole then make a knot, and walking down the street, dont' ask me why i have you pictured like this but i do but you're also like 6' in this picture in my mind too. ROCK ON- GAY PRIDE!
So point of this is that I'm content again with things, I've put my mind to ease well at least for a while, I know that hes probably gunna be all upset w/this but I think that now I can actually explain what was going through my mind Friday nite. I am at the eye of my storm......
Alas...
OH and I must say Moe darling, you are amazing, I can just picture you parading in the gay parade with your lil tight boy shorts on that say on the butt like Italino and a shirt that is like tied in the front like take the bottom put it through the neck hole then make a knot, and walking down the street, dont' ask me why i have you pictured like this but i do but you're also like 6' in this picture in my mind too. ROCK ON- GAY PRIDE!