this isn't working
I've been stressed like crazy lately. more than usual with AP exams and finals and 400 freakin point tests. plus having to choose between a college i really want to go to and one that i SHOULD go to. now filling out FAFSA again cause they finally sent me my freakin pin number and it's all due tomorrow. and my mom doesn't have her pin. she said she didn't know she needed one, which i understand. i probably didn't tell her cause i was so blasted tired today. heck, i made two mistakes while driving home from school. TWO in ten minutes. what the heck?! i never usually make any mistakes no matter the distance. and someone cutting me off didn't help. so i haven't been a very pleasant person today between people ticking me off, stress, and studying/school/hw.
i went down to tell my mom she should go sign up for her pin numnber right away if we're to get this in by midnight. she asked me what was wrong so i figured she always likes honesty, so i asked her why she didn't fill out the FAFSA earlier today since A)she's been wanting it done so bad & B)she spent a couple hours looking and applying for all that stuff. since she was talking about doing it, i assumed she did. i guess she thought i was talking about the pin number and she was saying how she didn't know and then was like "you know what? if we don't get it done don't worry about it." but it was in one of those tones where u know she didn't mean that. ugh. i hate when she does that. so basically we're both so stressed (me over college and school and her over college costs & being laid off/finding a new job) that we seem to be clashing a lot lately. which i totally hate doing but it seems unavoidable. like the other day she got really defensive over something i mentioned to her. since she's on those meds that make her think slow (the ones she calls her stupid pills) i don't know when she remembers stuff or not so i was trying to help her and she got defensive. i understand why she would, but idk, it just seems to hurt a lot coming from her when i just try to help. idk. maybe i should just stop being so honest cause it only seems to hurt me and makes others upset. yet here i am telling you all how i honestly feel -_- oy
and today i'm already a bit touchy cause it'd my dad's birthday. another one i missed cause he's in CT. make that 6 birthdays now...happy birthday daddy
Edit----
so i accidentally eavesdropped on my mom's conversation with bob. ok, accidentally at first and then i stayed to listen at the top of the stairs. so when she came upstairs i was still in meltdown mode and i apologized cause i know i accidentally snap at her sometimes and i don't mean to. i mean she has enough stress as it is, and unlike me, her stress can cause shingles to come back and put her in the hospital. so i kinda lost it and basically we had a heart to heart conversation. so after a lot of talking & tissues (and our supper got cold), we're good :) so hopefully things can go back to normal now
i went down to tell my mom she should go sign up for her pin numnber right away if we're to get this in by midnight. she asked me what was wrong so i figured she always likes honesty, so i asked her why she didn't fill out the FAFSA earlier today since A)she's been wanting it done so bad & B)she spent a couple hours looking and applying for all that stuff. since she was talking about doing it, i assumed she did. i guess she thought i was talking about the pin number and she was saying how she didn't know and then was like "you know what? if we don't get it done don't worry about it." but it was in one of those tones where u know she didn't mean that. ugh. i hate when she does that. so basically we're both so stressed (me over college and school and her over college costs & being laid off/finding a new job) that we seem to be clashing a lot lately. which i totally hate doing but it seems unavoidable. like the other day she got really defensive over something i mentioned to her. since she's on those meds that make her think slow (the ones she calls her stupid pills) i don't know when she remembers stuff or not so i was trying to help her and she got defensive. i understand why she would, but idk, it just seems to hurt a lot coming from her when i just try to help. idk. maybe i should just stop being so honest cause it only seems to hurt me and makes others upset. yet here i am telling you all how i honestly feel -_- oy
and today i'm already a bit touchy cause it'd my dad's birthday. another one i missed cause he's in CT. make that 6 birthdays now...happy birthday daddy
Edit----
so i accidentally eavesdropped on my mom's conversation with bob. ok, accidentally at first and then i stayed to listen at the top of the stairs. so when she came upstairs i was still in meltdown mode and i apologized cause i know i accidentally snap at her sometimes and i don't mean to. i mean she has enough stress as it is, and unlike me, her stress can cause shingles to come back and put her in the hospital. so i kinda lost it and basically we had a heart to heart conversation. so after a lot of talking & tissues (and our supper got cold), we're good :) so hopefully things can go back to normal now