Swings and Roundabouts
Yesterday was good, today was crap. I thought I had an exam today, so I went to Jessica's 'to revise' but drank wine and watched Kissing Jessica Stein with Leonora and Tibualt instead. I was happy enough not to even care when my fingers got trapped in the hinge of the door as Jessica opened it. Bloody hell that was sore. Today started badly when I woke up on Jessica's floor so cold I thought I was actually dead. Then I remembered the cleaning lady (I have the vague feeling while writing that that is it somehow un-pc. Please tell me it's still ok to say cleaning lady) was at home, and my room looks like...well, my room. So I went home and shoved everything under the bed so she could clean. Went to the advanced spanish class where, for the first time, it was all over my head. And I hadn't done the work for today and I was feeling generally crappy. Then I had to miss the basic Spanish class to go and revise, which is a bad thing since I love that class and I've never missed it. It brightens my day, and I'm aware of how pathetic that sounds. Finally get to hated medios class for exam, which is next week. Which should have been a relief, but was actually just irritating. There were some kind of oral exams going on for some of the other students, so the rest of us had to wait outside for an hour. For some reason (well, I was tired, cold, lonely, hungry, completely lost in all my classes and have so much work to do it's overwhelming me) I got really depressed and sat by myself on the verge of tears. I'm aware of how pathetic that sounds, too. Then this girl and a guy appear and try and talk to me, and I got confused and felt like an idiot and was failing to comprehend ANYTHING they said. At one point he asked me what time it was and I just didn't get it. So they thought I was an idiot, which made me more depressed. It was very weird, it was like everything was crashing down and I just wanted to come home so badly. All this because the test I was about to fail WASN'T today. Anyway, I suddenly got fed up being miserable, so I asked the girl after the class if I could have a photocopy of her notes. She said she types them all onto the computer, and she's going to email them to me. I am overwhelmingly grateful to people like her who do nice things for me. So I'm not so depressed anymore, although I do have an exam at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning (yes, I'm sure). It's amazing how telling yourself you're in a good mood can bring it about. I'm going to revise for the exam tomorrow, and make Tibualt a goodbye card. Everything's going to be ok, isn't it? Swings and roundabouts.