I'll Get Through This If I Hold On
Soundtrack for this entry: Magnet - Hold On
I spent the holiday season telling a coworker that she needed a Christmas Miracle. The comment was in good fun, but it was referring to the less than desirable lifestyle she lives. She's dating a married man, partying like it's 1999, living from paycheck to paycheck. I'm pretty sure she didn't receive that Christmas Miracle, but after yesterday...I'm wondering if it wasn't me who did?!
I drove to see my Grandmother yesterday morning. It's been quite some time since I've seen her. I had still never had a conversation with her (or any other family members) about meeting Cindy. My Aunt Arlene was the first to arrive. She brought a box of doughnuts and gave me some cash to pay for petro on the returning voyage. She told me that her son Scott has cleaned up his act and has been doing considerably well. I was pleased to hear it. Scott has been struggling since he returned from Desert Storm...in and out of jail on a regular basis.
My Uncle Tom was second to grace me with his presents. He brought me a huge box of venison steaks and potato sausage. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he's been sober for a little over a month now. I was aware of recent happenings in his life...his second wife filed for divorce and he was escorted out of the local casino for being drunk and disorderly. What I wasn't aware of was these events lead to him cleaning up his life a little bit. He now admits that his drinking is the problem. That's a start.
It was the first time I saw him and my Aunt Arlene in the same room speaking in close to 10 years. Fucking amazing!
My Aunt Sally, her husband Bill, and their son Storm were next to arrive. Storm brought me a Raiders jelly bracelet and made fun of what a shitty season they had. They're Bears' fans, so they're high on a delusional cloud that there's hope of making it to the Super Bowl. Sally brought some cooked potato sausage over with her for all to enjoy. Her and Bill have been sober for close to 20 years combined. Bill quit drinking shortly after I did. Sally has 5 years under her belt now.
My Aunt Nancy was the last to arrive. She brought me a large bag of venison jerky, salmon, walleye, and venison hamburger. In case you haven't figured it out by this point, hunting and fishing is an important thing to my family members...eating is an important thing to me. It's a perfect marriage. She's the last of my Grandmother's children to clean up her act. She still drinks like a fish and spends every penny she's ever made at the casino. Her life is somewhat lost...I doubt the day will ever come that she gets her shit together. I guess I felt the same way about Tom though. Nonetheless, I love her.
In case this entry needs translation: I've distanced myself from my family since I quite drinking. When you make a decision to sober up, one thing that also changes is the company that you keep. You no longer associate with those whose lifestyles could have a negative effect on your progress. There is no compromise. You avoid parties, you avoid holidays, you avoid any event where you feel drunkeness will prevail. It's a difficult mountain to climb.
Yesterday brought hope to my world. I felt for the first time that my family understood and approved of my lifestyle. I'm not sure that my sobriety played any role in all of these events, but I'm sure the example I've set hasn't hurt. Believe in yourself and strive to make your life a little more livable every day... sooner or later, it will.
I spent the holiday season telling a coworker that she needed a Christmas Miracle. The comment was in good fun, but it was referring to the less than desirable lifestyle she lives. She's dating a married man, partying like it's 1999, living from paycheck to paycheck. I'm pretty sure she didn't receive that Christmas Miracle, but after yesterday...I'm wondering if it wasn't me who did?!
I drove to see my Grandmother yesterday morning. It's been quite some time since I've seen her. I had still never had a conversation with her (or any other family members) about meeting Cindy. My Aunt Arlene was the first to arrive. She brought a box of doughnuts and gave me some cash to pay for petro on the returning voyage. She told me that her son Scott has cleaned up his act and has been doing considerably well. I was pleased to hear it. Scott has been struggling since he returned from Desert Storm...in and out of jail on a regular basis.
My Uncle Tom was second to grace me with his presents. He brought me a huge box of venison steaks and potato sausage. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he's been sober for a little over a month now. I was aware of recent happenings in his life...his second wife filed for divorce and he was escorted out of the local casino for being drunk and disorderly. What I wasn't aware of was these events lead to him cleaning up his life a little bit. He now admits that his drinking is the problem. That's a start.
It was the first time I saw him and my Aunt Arlene in the same room speaking in close to 10 years. Fucking amazing!
My Aunt Sally, her husband Bill, and their son Storm were next to arrive. Storm brought me a Raiders jelly bracelet and made fun of what a shitty season they had. They're Bears' fans, so they're high on a delusional cloud that there's hope of making it to the Super Bowl. Sally brought some cooked potato sausage over with her for all to enjoy. Her and Bill have been sober for close to 20 years combined. Bill quit drinking shortly after I did. Sally has 5 years under her belt now.
My Aunt Nancy was the last to arrive. She brought me a large bag of venison jerky, salmon, walleye, and venison hamburger. In case you haven't figured it out by this point, hunting and fishing is an important thing to my family members...eating is an important thing to me. It's a perfect marriage. She's the last of my Grandmother's children to clean up her act. She still drinks like a fish and spends every penny she's ever made at the casino. Her life is somewhat lost...I doubt the day will ever come that she gets her shit together. I guess I felt the same way about Tom though. Nonetheless, I love her.
In case this entry needs translation: I've distanced myself from my family since I quite drinking. When you make a decision to sober up, one thing that also changes is the company that you keep. You no longer associate with those whose lifestyles could have a negative effect on your progress. There is no compromise. You avoid parties, you avoid holidays, you avoid any event where you feel drunkeness will prevail. It's a difficult mountain to climb.
Yesterday brought hope to my world. I felt for the first time that my family understood and approved of my lifestyle. I'm not sure that my sobriety played any role in all of these events, but I'm sure the example I've set hasn't hurt. Believe in yourself and strive to make your life a little more livable every day... sooner or later, it will.