I am going insane
September 9 2003 (journal entry)
"I should be bitchin on this journal like I normally do. However, I can’t really find anything to bitch about."
Its depressing to read how high on life i use to be! I wish i could go back to that point in time and stay there for a little longer. I use to be bitch free and now its the other way around.
I know that its all due to the way i am perceiving life and other shit but i can't seem to change my views. It extremely difficult and has become a personal hell that i am voluntarily putting myself through. I know that one day i will be back there but as of now, all i can so is wait and pray. I want to be genuinely content with everything. I cant say that i am depressed cuz i have seen and felt the affects of depression, BUT i can say that i have felt neutral for long periods of times and sad on several occasions. I hate this SHIT!
"I should be bitchin on this journal like I normally do. However, I can’t really find anything to bitch about."
Its depressing to read how high on life i use to be! I wish i could go back to that point in time and stay there for a little longer. I use to be bitch free and now its the other way around.
I know that its all due to the way i am perceiving life and other shit but i can't seem to change my views. It extremely difficult and has become a personal hell that i am voluntarily putting myself through. I know that one day i will be back there but as of now, all i can so is wait and pray. I want to be genuinely content with everything. I cant say that i am depressed cuz i have seen and felt the affects of depression, BUT i can say that i have felt neutral for long periods of times and sad on several occasions. I hate this SHIT!