there is no breaking point
it said that there will always be people one can understand and by understood by because the world is so vast.
i think some people just go mad instead.
when i'm in a loony bin please don't visit me. not because i don't want others to see a degraded version of who i once was, but because every single one of you represent a time of my life i hate to be in. so much ridicule from all angles and superficial judgment passed without consequence.
i'm a person who has always been told to accept other people's insecurities and flaws, to not judge other people, to be mindful of other people's feelings. every time i do a personality quiz i get the result "hard to know but an extremely loyal friend." well that's great for everybody else isn't it? even though they don't even need the loyalty or any extra affirmation they already give themselves or receive from other people.
i have never once received the like from any single person.
while nobody is obliged to do so for me, i increasingly fail to see how my tolerance does any good, and increasingly observe how my attempts to smile and be non-aggressive invites ridicule and contempt from other people.
looking at other people content to let themselves and others be and tear their hair out for academia. it seems like i'm choosing the easy way out for all the wrong things. from a detached perspective the way i repeatedly try to seek reassurance from a source which has always judged me for being flawed in ways unfavourable, presumably there are flaws favoured, is laughably pathetic.
if not for fear i would have been gone long ago.
i think some people just go mad instead.
when i'm in a loony bin please don't visit me. not because i don't want others to see a degraded version of who i once was, but because every single one of you represent a time of my life i hate to be in. so much ridicule from all angles and superficial judgment passed without consequence.
i'm a person who has always been told to accept other people's insecurities and flaws, to not judge other people, to be mindful of other people's feelings. every time i do a personality quiz i get the result "hard to know but an extremely loyal friend." well that's great for everybody else isn't it? even though they don't even need the loyalty or any extra affirmation they already give themselves or receive from other people.
i have never once received the like from any single person.
while nobody is obliged to do so for me, i increasingly fail to see how my tolerance does any good, and increasingly observe how my attempts to smile and be non-aggressive invites ridicule and contempt from other people.
looking at other people content to let themselves and others be and tear their hair out for academia. it seems like i'm choosing the easy way out for all the wrong things. from a detached perspective the way i repeatedly try to seek reassurance from a source which has always judged me for being flawed in ways unfavourable, presumably there are flaws favoured, is laughably pathetic.
if not for fear i would have been gone long ago.