failing at everything
so frustrated at being above average at everything but not outstanding nor in the upper tier of anything.
sometimes, particularly now or during the semester i feel like extending past the limits of my brain and reaching out, further and further and rising above my current station to know more because the presence of my limitations and inadequacies just crawls and crawls inwards and seeps into everything i see and think and i can't move for the sheer frustration.
but it's impossible! unless i adopt the theory that my brain could possibly extend further and develop more neuronal networks and leave pathways everywhere and i suddenly gain 30 IQ points. like my mind is a plateau with cliffs around the circumference and i'm trapped in this small space because there's canyons all around and i can't go any further but i can see the other edges of the worlds but have no power to extend my borders.
jack of all trades, master of none. maybe i should go learn more trades so i'm less inadequate, and be a little bit better than the layman in everything but not good enough to make anything of it.
sometimes, particularly now or during the semester i feel like extending past the limits of my brain and reaching out, further and further and rising above my current station to know more because the presence of my limitations and inadequacies just crawls and crawls inwards and seeps into everything i see and think and i can't move for the sheer frustration.
but it's impossible! unless i adopt the theory that my brain could possibly extend further and develop more neuronal networks and leave pathways everywhere and i suddenly gain 30 IQ points. like my mind is a plateau with cliffs around the circumference and i'm trapped in this small space because there's canyons all around and i can't go any further but i can see the other edges of the worlds but have no power to extend my borders.
jack of all trades, master of none. maybe i should go learn more trades so i'm less inadequate, and be a little bit better than the layman in everything but not good enough to make anything of it.