(no subject)
argggg. i just want time to speed up and pass time right now. i asked jeremy why we barely have sex anymore and he told me its because he has had no sex drive lately. everytime we do it it kinda makes me sad cuz i feel like im forcing him to do it. and he always has this look on his face like hes obviously interested in doing something else, and having sex with me is just a hassle. he seriously would rather watch tv now days. i told him the whole reason for that and the fact that hes been short tempered and annoyed lately, is because drugs are changing his personality. of course he got all mad and told me i was dumb but its the fucking truth! if he can get through this weekend without smoking dope than i believe he can go a long time. he asked me to get drunk with him tonight but if i go and get drunk then what reason does he have to not get spun? the only way i can hold it against him is by me not drinking. if i give up something i absolutly love for him, then he sure as hell better give up tweaking for me. i know i only have to give him about a couple weeks before his personality gets better and everything starts to get good again. but its sooooo hard for me to wait. especially since im getting really sexually frusterated. dude if you date me, you know im a fucking nympho hardcore. I LIKE TO HAVE SEX. but i dont go out and have one night stands and shit. im actually way not into that. but when im commited to you, im horny for you every 30 seconds. i gotta get laid. and yeah we've had our sex lately, but not how we used to! its just been in and out lately. you always learn about how drugs affect your personality, and in a lot of people, mostly girls, you cant really see a change. but whith jeremy however, i can see a complete signifigant change. the same happened to my brother. thats how i know so much about whats going on with him i guess. i would rather he went back to his loud alcoholic stage then kept going with this tweaker stage. it just wastes soooo much money, and he needs to seriously save as it is. i have faith in him this far. he knows that if he keeps doing it so much, i wont stay with him. because ive told him. so i pray to god he can just not do it for at least a month.
THIS IS OUR SECRETE BUT...i have some whiskey hidden from jeremy and uhhh...now that hes not here im gonna drink it! its not a lot at all. enough to get me to bed. he never said i couldnt drink when i was by myself! heh heh heh. i feel like a hypoctite but i cant just let that whiskey sit there. its already sat for a week. ok so sue me for getting drunk when i told him i wouldnt. dude my drinking problem is a lot less of a problem than his dope habit.
other than that, tomorrow is the ice cube concert. i dont really wanna go cuz its gonna be all gang members and i OBVIOUSLY dont fit in no matter what.
I DIED MY HAIR PURPLE AGAIN. dont EVER EVER let yr boyfriend dye yr hair for you. jeremy pretty much died my whole face purple along with my hair. he did a good job though, i have to give it to him. it looks awsome.
THIS IS OUR SECRETE BUT...i have some whiskey hidden from jeremy and uhhh...now that hes not here im gonna drink it! its not a lot at all. enough to get me to bed. he never said i couldnt drink when i was by myself! heh heh heh. i feel like a hypoctite but i cant just let that whiskey sit there. its already sat for a week. ok so sue me for getting drunk when i told him i wouldnt. dude my drinking problem is a lot less of a problem than his dope habit.
other than that, tomorrow is the ice cube concert. i dont really wanna go cuz its gonna be all gang members and i OBVIOUSLY dont fit in no matter what.
I DIED MY HAIR PURPLE AGAIN. dont EVER EVER let yr boyfriend dye yr hair for you. jeremy pretty much died my whole face purple along with my hair. he did a good job though, i have to give it to him. it looks awsome.