Secret (Marui/Jirou, Kirihara/Jirou)
Title: Secret
Characters: Marui Bunta/Akutagawa Jirou, Kirihara Akaya/Akutagawa Jirou
Rating: PG / Worksafe
Summary: Marui Bunta wonders how he’s missed out on the sunny smile that is always haunting him now.
Notes: Also archived here.
Secret
When Marui Bunta first moved onto campus in pursuit of the university’s famed theatre programme, he had expected, of course, to meet his former Rikkai teammates. They received him in the only ways he knew them to - Sanada with his steely gaze and curt words, Renji with an enigmatic smile, Yukimura with a light laugh and eyes that told much more than he said. Niou and Yagyuu were there as well, neither one being the other or perhaps they weren’t Niou and Yagyuu anymore, but just Niou&Yagyuu because that was the way things had come to be. Jackal took Marui out to coffee, talking about how dry his engineering classmates were and perhaps they could meet Marui sometime? Marui had smiled, amused. Nothing, even in the space of time, could replace their companionship to each other.
But in one of the evenings that they held a welcome party for the redhead, it wasn’t Yukimura’s speech Marui remembered; neither did he recall Sanada squeeze his shoulder so that it almost hurt, an indication that the fukubuchou perhaps wasn’t as stoic as he liked to be. No, Marui forgot about Renji’s hug, too - even if he did appreciate the gesture when it was given. It was Akaya he remembered, hair as wild as seaweed and green eyes almost bright with a sort of bliss that Marui couldn’t remember being there when they attended junior high. Akaya had stepped aside, revealing a somewhat familiar face that jolted Marui out of a reverie and yet back into it, with just a shy smile and laughing gaze.
Akutagawa Jirou, Akaya had said. Marui, do you remember him? He was a fan of yours, back in junior high.
Marui didn’t, and he had no idea how - because all he remembered that evening, amongst Niou’s fireworks and Yagyuu’s soft chuckles, was the way Jirou glanced at him, brown eyes meeting curious lavender, soft palms holding on hesitantly to his arm as the blonde spoke excitedly about how much he idolized Marui and oh, you’re in the theatre programme? Sugoi, ne! I always knew you’d be famous. Marui had sat there, dazed and confused as Akaya pulled Jirou away a moment later to hold him close under the ridiculous mistletoe that Jackal had put up, just for fun -
And Marui couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember at all, anything else except Jirou.
Jirou used to cheer for you during the matches, Niou was saying, voice low and teasing. Now see what you’ve done, ne. Let him slip away. He was joking, Marui knew, but there was a pull in the region of his stomach as he watched Akaya kiss Jirou, and then he knew the reason behind the bliss in his kouhai’s eyes.
Jirou visited Marui sometimes, in the theatre the acting classes took place in. Those visits always made Marui smile, because Jirou was such a joy to be with - his easy-going demeanor and crinkling eyes had made him somewhat popular with his class. But Marui wanted Jirou for himself, away from these distractions. Under the bright lights of that dim stage, there was no one for Marui except Jirou.
They talked about it once or twice, about Akaya and about them. Jirou was naïve at his worst, and the two of them knew without a doubt that this was real - tangible and beautiful, and yet it was tragic. If only, Jirou murmured, his wistful smile burning into the back of Marui’s thoughts. If only.
I love Akaya, Jirou always said. I’d never leave him. But when Marui’s lips were on his, Jirou’s words would slip away, dust within the soft hum of the air-conditioning. I love Akaya… he would whisper, and Marui heard none of it because all he saw was Jirou now. I love… I…
And Jirou’s words would fade altogether, lost into their quiet kisses, Marui’s fingers curled over Jirou’s wrist as they disappeared together.
Even in secret, they knew they would never last. Even if Marui said I love you countlessly, lavender tracing the depths of brown with such tenderness that it hurt sometimes - they both knew. Jirou stood there by Akaya’s side, the laughter in his eyes as Akaya failed yet again to say the words Marui always said to Jirou. It’s cute, Jirou once said to Marui, that he always finds it such a problem to express himself. But Marui didn’t find it cute.
He didn’t want to think about it, at all.
Sanada’s shoulder brushed against Marui’s, the weight of the world seemingly pressed against his own. Marui watched Jirou and Akaya join hands, legs twinkling in and out as they ran together out into the open green. Sanada glanced over at him, but the redhead was watching them, head tilted forward with a smile he loved to use in acting class.
That is not a poker face, his teacher once chid. Don’t be silly, Marui-kun.
Are you alright, Sanada asked. Marui watched them for a moment before looking over to Sanada, and there was no point in trying to hide, because nobody knew him better than Sanada, except maybe Jackal. Yes, I will be, he said, trying not to laugh. I’ll be okay. Better than okay. Jirou turned, and he smiled at them both, expression as sunny as the blue overhead.
It was moments like these that Marui wondered how on earth he had ever forgotten Jirou at all.
Characters: Marui Bunta/Akutagawa Jirou, Kirihara Akaya/Akutagawa Jirou
Rating: PG / Worksafe
Summary: Marui Bunta wonders how he’s missed out on the sunny smile that is always haunting him now.
Notes: Also archived here.
Secret
When Marui Bunta first moved onto campus in pursuit of the university’s famed theatre programme, he had expected, of course, to meet his former Rikkai teammates. They received him in the only ways he knew them to - Sanada with his steely gaze and curt words, Renji with an enigmatic smile, Yukimura with a light laugh and eyes that told much more than he said. Niou and Yagyuu were there as well, neither one being the other or perhaps they weren’t Niou and Yagyuu anymore, but just Niou&Yagyuu because that was the way things had come to be. Jackal took Marui out to coffee, talking about how dry his engineering classmates were and perhaps they could meet Marui sometime? Marui had smiled, amused. Nothing, even in the space of time, could replace their companionship to each other.
But in one of the evenings that they held a welcome party for the redhead, it wasn’t Yukimura’s speech Marui remembered; neither did he recall Sanada squeeze his shoulder so that it almost hurt, an indication that the fukubuchou perhaps wasn’t as stoic as he liked to be. No, Marui forgot about Renji’s hug, too - even if he did appreciate the gesture when it was given. It was Akaya he remembered, hair as wild as seaweed and green eyes almost bright with a sort of bliss that Marui couldn’t remember being there when they attended junior high. Akaya had stepped aside, revealing a somewhat familiar face that jolted Marui out of a reverie and yet back into it, with just a shy smile and laughing gaze.
Akutagawa Jirou, Akaya had said. Marui, do you remember him? He was a fan of yours, back in junior high.
Marui didn’t, and he had no idea how - because all he remembered that evening, amongst Niou’s fireworks and Yagyuu’s soft chuckles, was the way Jirou glanced at him, brown eyes meeting curious lavender, soft palms holding on hesitantly to his arm as the blonde spoke excitedly about how much he idolized Marui and oh, you’re in the theatre programme? Sugoi, ne! I always knew you’d be famous. Marui had sat there, dazed and confused as Akaya pulled Jirou away a moment later to hold him close under the ridiculous mistletoe that Jackal had put up, just for fun -
And Marui couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember at all, anything else except Jirou.
Jirou used to cheer for you during the matches, Niou was saying, voice low and teasing. Now see what you’ve done, ne. Let him slip away. He was joking, Marui knew, but there was a pull in the region of his stomach as he watched Akaya kiss Jirou, and then he knew the reason behind the bliss in his kouhai’s eyes.
Jirou visited Marui sometimes, in the theatre the acting classes took place in. Those visits always made Marui smile, because Jirou was such a joy to be with - his easy-going demeanor and crinkling eyes had made him somewhat popular with his class. But Marui wanted Jirou for himself, away from these distractions. Under the bright lights of that dim stage, there was no one for Marui except Jirou.
They talked about it once or twice, about Akaya and about them. Jirou was naïve at his worst, and the two of them knew without a doubt that this was real - tangible and beautiful, and yet it was tragic. If only, Jirou murmured, his wistful smile burning into the back of Marui’s thoughts. If only.
I love Akaya, Jirou always said. I’d never leave him. But when Marui’s lips were on his, Jirou’s words would slip away, dust within the soft hum of the air-conditioning. I love Akaya… he would whisper, and Marui heard none of it because all he saw was Jirou now. I love… I…
And Jirou’s words would fade altogether, lost into their quiet kisses, Marui’s fingers curled over Jirou’s wrist as they disappeared together.
Even in secret, they knew they would never last. Even if Marui said I love you countlessly, lavender tracing the depths of brown with such tenderness that it hurt sometimes - they both knew. Jirou stood there by Akaya’s side, the laughter in his eyes as Akaya failed yet again to say the words Marui always said to Jirou. It’s cute, Jirou once said to Marui, that he always finds it such a problem to express himself. But Marui didn’t find it cute.
He didn’t want to think about it, at all.
Sanada’s shoulder brushed against Marui’s, the weight of the world seemingly pressed against his own. Marui watched Jirou and Akaya join hands, legs twinkling in and out as they ran together out into the open green. Sanada glanced over at him, but the redhead was watching them, head tilted forward with a smile he loved to use in acting class.
That is not a poker face, his teacher once chid. Don’t be silly, Marui-kun.
Are you alright, Sanada asked. Marui watched them for a moment before looking over to Sanada, and there was no point in trying to hide, because nobody knew him better than Sanada, except maybe Jackal. Yes, I will be, he said, trying not to laugh. I’ll be okay. Better than okay. Jirou turned, and he smiled at them both, expression as sunny as the blue overhead.
It was moments like these that Marui wondered how on earth he had ever forgotten Jirou at all.