It's been awhile...
Joey came home Thursday. Yesterday was the first time I've seen him since he was in the hospital. He's so tiny, but he's adorable. He's so small he doesn't even look real. Chris is all proud of himself. He keeps saying how cute of a baby he has. Makes me laugh. Which is a new one for this past week. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. And I feel the need to cry again. Why? I really don't know. I think a lot of it has to do with myself. I'm not really happy with myself right now. I feel bad because I was really shitty company for my mom. It's just her and I this weekend. My dad and Kevin went up north and Chris is working. So my mom and I went shopping. I was fine, then all of a sudden I zoned. I've been in this zoned state of mind ever since. My mom thought I was pissed off and angry at her. I said and apologized for being bad company and she said it was okay and that I'l figure things out in my mind. I think she's upset with me. I can't help the fact that I feel like shit right now. And like I said before it is because I'm not happy with myself. I'm not going to mention why because if I talk about, I'll cry. I hate crying. And the fact that I can't stop is pissing me off.
Fuckin lame.
Fuckin lame.