Soulmate Separation
I've done it. I said goodbye to him. And it was easier than I thought. Actually, I'm wrong about that. It was easy at the time but now it's hitting me like a bruise that doesn't show up at first but turns black and blue over a period of time.
My eyes burn and sting and I'm trying to collect myself again. It was difficult when he and I got in the car and down by the river. The Delaware. We sat in the car and listened all the way through some Evanescence song and we both wept. Beside each other. And it hurt then. It hurt a lot. Because I had never imagined being separated from him. Despite our distance as of late, leaving for good means he won't be 12 minutes away anymore. It means he'll be an entire plane ride away. My mind can't even grasp that.
So I'm sitting here now, trying to push it all to the back of my head just like I do with every emotion I don't feel like dealing with. And I'm going to not think about it because it will just depress me and cripple me and could, in fact, prevent my leaving. So I'll breathe. And relax and begin packing.
I can't believe it's almost time. Tomorrow's my last full day. It's...no words. I have no words.
Touches and looks from the family. My brother's ever-present prescence is somehow reassuring. I need to step over the depression and melancholy behavior and get on with my life. I need to meet new people and, like Ben, my beautiful and wonderful soulmate said, I need to meet my Brian and Charlie. I love you, my man. I love you all. You keep me sane.
My eyes burn and sting and I'm trying to collect myself again. It was difficult when he and I got in the car and down by the river. The Delaware. We sat in the car and listened all the way through some Evanescence song and we both wept. Beside each other. And it hurt then. It hurt a lot. Because I had never imagined being separated from him. Despite our distance as of late, leaving for good means he won't be 12 minutes away anymore. It means he'll be an entire plane ride away. My mind can't even grasp that.
So I'm sitting here now, trying to push it all to the back of my head just like I do with every emotion I don't feel like dealing with. And I'm going to not think about it because it will just depress me and cripple me and could, in fact, prevent my leaving. So I'll breathe. And relax and begin packing.
I can't believe it's almost time. Tomorrow's my last full day. It's...no words. I have no words.
Touches and looks from the family. My brother's ever-present prescence is somehow reassuring. I need to step over the depression and melancholy behavior and get on with my life. I need to meet new people and, like Ben, my beautiful and wonderful soulmate said, I need to meet my Brian and Charlie. I love you, my man. I love you all. You keep me sane.