Is this bad for my health??....
I feel like absolute shit. Im so burnt out on this shift. I sleep the day away and stalk the night. There's no excitement in this town whatsoever. I work and sleep and play at Jerry's. I want to go somewhere I'm happy. There's two choices..Home or home. Detroit or Virginia. I have no friends here. Just people who pretend to enjoy my company because I have a vehicle. I'm so sick of fairweather friends. Fallon and Lemoore are half-friend towns. Im sick of being miserable and unable to do a thing about it. I try and try, but there's still no light at the end of my day. A stormcloud sits perched above my pillow waiting to break open upon me when I sleep. Another follows me wherever I go. There's no Geraldine here or anywhere. Im sick of putting on a fake smile and lying about being okay. Im not okay. Im not gonna be okay. Im gonna find things to occupy my time and keep me thinking positive, but in the end I will associate those things with Geraldine. Im cursed with Love while others are blessed with it. Right now Loving her is draining my spirit. I dont know how much more I can take before I get worse. I dont want to feel anymore. I want to sear off every nerve ending and kill every emotion in me. Love is making me ill and affecting my every move. I dont sleep well, I eat like shit, and I look like hell. Ive got no motivation to work and I bore people with conversations about Geraldine. No one wants to hear it, people talk to me less cause theyre sick of me. I need a cure for a broken, Lovesick heart. Her name is Geraldine. If you see her, tell her I said hello and goodbye.