(no subject)
Dear Friends,
I was thinking this morning about what someone said about depression, that it's caused by guilt, and I thought, "I sure do feel really guilty." Most of the time I don't really know why, I just do. I feel guilty about the way that I treat my friends. I'm sorry that I treat you all so badly. I'm sorry that I'm so intolerant and judgmental. I'm sorry that I make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry that you'd rather not hang out with me because you know I'll just be miserable. I'm sorry that I push you all away. To Megan, I'm sorry that I was such a lousy boyfriend. You were never anything less than wonderful to me, and in return all I gave you was misery. I'm sorry that I put so much pressure on you. I'm sorry that I didn't treat you like you deserve to be treated. I'm sorry that I put you through 4 months of suffering because of me. I'm sorry that I held you back from doing what you wanted to do. I'm really sorry.
I've told myself all along that I'm fine; that I'm doing the right thing; that I'm such a good guy. Now I see myself for what I am. I'm no friend, and I don't deserve to have friends like you. I understand if you guys don't want to hang out with me anymore. I totally understand. I'm not fun to be around. I probably never was anyways. It's probably best if I'm not around anymore. Don't worry I'm not suicidal or anything. I'm just saying that for your sakes and mine, it's probably just best that I keep to myself, so that the only one who suffers through all this is me.
All I can say is that I'm truly sorry, and I hope that you all can forgive me.
Sincerly,
Andrew
I was thinking this morning about what someone said about depression, that it's caused by guilt, and I thought, "I sure do feel really guilty." Most of the time I don't really know why, I just do. I feel guilty about the way that I treat my friends. I'm sorry that I treat you all so badly. I'm sorry that I'm so intolerant and judgmental. I'm sorry that I make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry that you'd rather not hang out with me because you know I'll just be miserable. I'm sorry that I push you all away. To Megan, I'm sorry that I was such a lousy boyfriend. You were never anything less than wonderful to me, and in return all I gave you was misery. I'm sorry that I put so much pressure on you. I'm sorry that I didn't treat you like you deserve to be treated. I'm sorry that I put you through 4 months of suffering because of me. I'm sorry that I held you back from doing what you wanted to do. I'm really sorry.
I've told myself all along that I'm fine; that I'm doing the right thing; that I'm such a good guy. Now I see myself for what I am. I'm no friend, and I don't deserve to have friends like you. I understand if you guys don't want to hang out with me anymore. I totally understand. I'm not fun to be around. I probably never was anyways. It's probably best if I'm not around anymore. Don't worry I'm not suicidal or anything. I'm just saying that for your sakes and mine, it's probably just best that I keep to myself, so that the only one who suffers through all this is me.
All I can say is that I'm truly sorry, and I hope that you all can forgive me.
Sincerly,
Andrew