I won €1000 and I miss my father.
I unearth my HP Compaq NC6000 laptop from where it lies congealed between layers of styrofoam. I feel slightly cheated at the fact that my father packaged it off without my consent for repair in doubts I wouldn't be able to master it myself.The hard disk is like a key to my life. I insert. These past days have been so confusing. I want summer, next year, speechlessness, experience. To render and convey information convincingly has become exceedingly hard as of late. I hope, hope, hope that I will make next year's Yearbook Team. My weekend was generally enjoyable, it was Olivia's birthday so we went to Sunshine Club @ Passage, there's one crap quality photo from wienstyle.at which I uploaded on MySpace. It was alright, better than shitty Empire and they played some Aphex Twin at the beginning. No rap or R&B, thankfully. Recently, I made some new friends, broke off with old ones, and repaired some friendships. This current week started off on the wrong foot and has been a mess of hospital visits, insomnia, no homework, humidity, vitamin pills swallowed the wrong way round, green tea and spare computer parts. Maybe if I make believe that I am a hypochondriac certain things will go away. I've been listening to a lot of Explosions in the Sky lately. And covers by Elliott Smith (Waterloo Garden, Jealous Guy) and Soundgarden. I'm eating chocolate-chip-coconut-granola cookies right now. It feels weird having no homework; classes feel almost pointless. I need to stop writing down meaningless things. On my way home I pondered upon something that Madeleine had said yesterday, "Most people post those kind of things because they think they're interesting people." This didn't have anything to do with me (rather, people who fill out like, 149647 surveys a day on MySpace) but it dawned on me that nobody ever would find me an interesting or an intriguing person. I know that I'm not interesting, I lead a very average life apart from the fact that I stray into one area of expertise (computing) higher than I do in others. Aside from that, I felt so... without a point. I felt like the world's most boring asshole. Who am I to judge myself, anyway? I'd leave that to "the people" but nobody is interested. An interest. I'm confusing myself too much. I'm off to escape reality and play EverQuest II.
On another note, I finished Douglas Coupland's JPod today. "Where is the sleep-crazed, caffeine-fuelled one-point-oh tech environment that can only be created by having no green vegetables, no sex and no life?"