So far it's been a Downward Spiral

[cobeanfarmer]

I was doing well in terms of nicotine,
but now...

let me make a list... if I may

205
1 newport

206
.5 malb.light
1 bronco

207
1 bronco
1 bronco light

208
2 malb.reds

209
1 bronco
1 malb.red

so far...
8.5 cigarettes
atleast

I need one right now as a matter of fact. I need something to take away these pains and aches and urges...
Also,
Jennifer is too much.
We kissed
now it's awkward...

also, when before I unwillingly liked her,
now, I unwillingly lust after her...

I hate her so much! Only because I like her so much! Because now, I want her so much! I hate this feeling...
this is why I didn't wanna like her in the first place...
I don't wanna be obsessed with any girl
I don't want my heart broken again
there's not much left to break, but I just can't emotionally handle it...

I can't stop thinking about her...
god, such soft lips
and those little noises she made
and that after look...

Scorpio and scorpio couples end up hating each other anyway...
I rather have any emotion within me...
other than unrequited love