and we are dreading the winter solstice
I am in no condition to meet you, greet you, feel you, touch you, love you, hold you. And you are right, i am scared. I shouldn't be. Maybe it's my shame that is defeating me. But i'm not ashamed, does my fear show so planely? You have always looked at me directly. You have always understood everything so easily, how did you do it? Maybe when you see with the kind of eyes you use, with the kind of unvealing you do, it's the miracle of surprise, you give it to me everyday. I feel the idiot savant, and einstein would say hold the savant. Yes, you see me, you see right through the actor, but you take in his acting and file it with his meaning. I can't escape who i am, but i think i may try to. You won't let me. I don't want to be let go. You don't know what it is to stop holding, to stop seeing , to stop anything, it is who you are. Do you know, i think you are amazing. I'm just lucky to know you, during this brief and terrible empire. If i had my way, we would start over, in a utopia, we would start a new fire.