Depression. How-to guide.
My friend greg posted on his journal asking how to stop the negative thoughts that come with depression. I wrote this in response. Thought i'd post it over here too, it might help someone.
I'll try to be more productive on this. Maybe i'll go corporate and give ya a list, yea a list.
1. Recognize. Try to acknowledge when ur being depressive. For example. Ur thinking, god i'm fat, I don't know why anyone would want to date me. Just say, ya know that's not true Greg. Or something along the lines of, here we go again. I hate this, that I think these things. Don't let the thoughts go by unnoticed. See them for what they are, not reality.
2. Argue. Everytime you have a negative thought. Stop, try to think about it. Is this true? Really true? No of course not. Respond with the truth. Again, god i'm fat, I don't know why anyone would want to date me. That's not true. I don't have a perfect body, but that's not really an issue, i've dated people in the past and I will in the future. Besides, it's just temporary, if I really cared I could get rid of it. Not everybody likes the boys on the tina diet, and I don't have to be attracted to myself. This is what I do, I have two voices. One irrational and one rational... the rational one will eventually start to win :)
3. Distraction. Since u've learned how to identify depressive thoughts now :), you can say oh god i'm getting depressed again, lets do something to get my mind off it. Watch a movie, read a book, call a friend, go for a walk, draw something. Do NOT do things that will make you feel more depressed. Like chatting on gay.com, or going through your old boyfriend stuff.
4. Meditation. Your friend said he wasn't very good at mediation but he was right. It can be an impressive tool. The reason it helps is because you learn control over your own mind. The decision to quiet the dialog and just concentrate on whatever ur meditating on, whether that be a flower or your own breathing, or nothing at all. It's not easy at first, you just keep trying. Also, you don't have to figure it out, there are classes, breathing mediation is basic in yoga, and there are classes that just teach it. Take a few.
5. Visualization. Sometimes the emotions are just too strong. You just feel sad, or angry or lost. And it takes you over. All these things won't work because you are too deep. You can't hear the voices. This is where spirituality helps, if you have one. Imagine all your feelings as a field of color, and scrunch it up into a small ball, and hand it to god, or push it into an object. During a particularly bad time I had a rose in my room that I would send everything to. Then at the end of the month I'd burn it, deciding to let one of the things that I was obsessing about go. I did this for 6 months (diff roses). Again, the idea is to take the emotions and externalize them.. they are over there and not inside me. This can clear the way for a little bit of thought. Try it out, see if it works for you.
6. Friends. Choose your friends wisely. Some people know a depressive when they see it and feed of it. Maybe they'll be a really funny person, always cracking jokes. But in the end, if they know you for what you are, they'll crack the jokes at your expense. And u'll let them, cause u'll think they're right. This is bad, very bad. When you have a moment of clarity, go through your friends and ask urself if they ever feed off your negative thoughts, if so, stay away from them for a while, u don't have to forever, they rarely do it on purpose. But long enough, to heal.
7. Drugs. I went on them once and I really hated it. But when none of these work. You get a little desperate. Besides, I wasn't only getting depressed, I was going through mood swings like hourly. anxiety, depression, mania. The premise of the drugs is not to fix you. They just give you breathing room. Quiet the storm for a while so you can actually have a positive thought. Break the cycle. To use a musical analogy, depression is an ear splitting feedback loop, not much you can do till you turn off the microphone or move it away. Doctors give out these drugs pretty liberally, just mention that ur having suicidal thoughts (and you might well) and they'll immediately write you a prescription and refer you to a therapist. Take them for as long as you can, but always know you can just stop. Ur not a slave to them. I was on them for 4 months. Did some crazy things on them, no self-control, but the mood swings didn't come back.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a therapist, these are just things that i've done in the past that have helped. I still have funks, but they last a day or so and it's over. Unlike before where I spend 6 months getting progressively worse till I do something stupid like spend more money than I have, quit my job, drop out of school, verbally rip into a friend who did nothing, sleep with someone just because they'll have me, hurt myself somehow. Therapists can help, just make sure u go to a cognitive therapist, one who'll actually give you things to do to help, rather than one that will just sit there and listen to you talk.
*hug* best wishes, I hope this helps.
I'll try to be more productive on this. Maybe i'll go corporate and give ya a list, yea a list.
1. Recognize. Try to acknowledge when ur being depressive. For example. Ur thinking, god i'm fat, I don't know why anyone would want to date me. Just say, ya know that's not true Greg. Or something along the lines of, here we go again. I hate this, that I think these things. Don't let the thoughts go by unnoticed. See them for what they are, not reality.
2. Argue. Everytime you have a negative thought. Stop, try to think about it. Is this true? Really true? No of course not. Respond with the truth. Again, god i'm fat, I don't know why anyone would want to date me. That's not true. I don't have a perfect body, but that's not really an issue, i've dated people in the past and I will in the future. Besides, it's just temporary, if I really cared I could get rid of it. Not everybody likes the boys on the tina diet, and I don't have to be attracted to myself. This is what I do, I have two voices. One irrational and one rational... the rational one will eventually start to win :)
3. Distraction. Since u've learned how to identify depressive thoughts now :), you can say oh god i'm getting depressed again, lets do something to get my mind off it. Watch a movie, read a book, call a friend, go for a walk, draw something. Do NOT do things that will make you feel more depressed. Like chatting on gay.com, or going through your old boyfriend stuff.
4. Meditation. Your friend said he wasn't very good at mediation but he was right. It can be an impressive tool. The reason it helps is because you learn control over your own mind. The decision to quiet the dialog and just concentrate on whatever ur meditating on, whether that be a flower or your own breathing, or nothing at all. It's not easy at first, you just keep trying. Also, you don't have to figure it out, there are classes, breathing mediation is basic in yoga, and there are classes that just teach it. Take a few.
5. Visualization. Sometimes the emotions are just too strong. You just feel sad, or angry or lost. And it takes you over. All these things won't work because you are too deep. You can't hear the voices. This is where spirituality helps, if you have one. Imagine all your feelings as a field of color, and scrunch it up into a small ball, and hand it to god, or push it into an object. During a particularly bad time I had a rose in my room that I would send everything to. Then at the end of the month I'd burn it, deciding to let one of the things that I was obsessing about go. I did this for 6 months (diff roses). Again, the idea is to take the emotions and externalize them.. they are over there and not inside me. This can clear the way for a little bit of thought. Try it out, see if it works for you.
6. Friends. Choose your friends wisely. Some people know a depressive when they see it and feed of it. Maybe they'll be a really funny person, always cracking jokes. But in the end, if they know you for what you are, they'll crack the jokes at your expense. And u'll let them, cause u'll think they're right. This is bad, very bad. When you have a moment of clarity, go through your friends and ask urself if they ever feed off your negative thoughts, if so, stay away from them for a while, u don't have to forever, they rarely do it on purpose. But long enough, to heal.
7. Drugs. I went on them once and I really hated it. But when none of these work. You get a little desperate. Besides, I wasn't only getting depressed, I was going through mood swings like hourly. anxiety, depression, mania. The premise of the drugs is not to fix you. They just give you breathing room. Quiet the storm for a while so you can actually have a positive thought. Break the cycle. To use a musical analogy, depression is an ear splitting feedback loop, not much you can do till you turn off the microphone or move it away. Doctors give out these drugs pretty liberally, just mention that ur having suicidal thoughts (and you might well) and they'll immediately write you a prescription and refer you to a therapist. Take them for as long as you can, but always know you can just stop. Ur not a slave to them. I was on them for 4 months. Did some crazy things on them, no self-control, but the mood swings didn't come back.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a therapist, these are just things that i've done in the past that have helped. I still have funks, but they last a day or so and it's over. Unlike before where I spend 6 months getting progressively worse till I do something stupid like spend more money than I have, quit my job, drop out of school, verbally rip into a friend who did nothing, sleep with someone just because they'll have me, hurt myself somehow. Therapists can help, just make sure u go to a cognitive therapist, one who'll actually give you things to do to help, rather than one that will just sit there and listen to you talk.
*hug* best wishes, I hope this helps.