(no subject)
So I finally got around to seeing the remake of Clash of the Titans last night. As a Classicist, I can't condone it as a good representation of anything even remotely heading towards a reflection of Greek mythology. As a filmgoer, I uh, actually rather enjoyed it.
Let me get some things off my chest right now with the cons:
1) THERE IS NO KRAKEN IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY! OMG PEOPLE!!! *Headdesks repeatedly* A kraken might have worked in Pirates of the Caribbean (it did, in fact) but just because a myth has the words 'sea monster' in it, doth not a kraken make. Kraken is a Scandinavian construct, not a Greek one.
2) Making Hades the bad guy? Shows an alarming lack of originality. In fact, more than that, it shows an alarming tendency towards Christian thinking. Hades, if this film is to be believed, is synonymous with the devil. He rules the underworld, is evil and commands demons. Um. I mean...just... no. So no. No a million times. Hades in Greek mythology is no better or worse than any other god. Seriously. He really wasn't all 'I WANT TO RULE THE WORLD, TAKE THAT ZEUS!' and he definitely didn't feed off of mortal fear. He didn't command demons, either.
3) Who the fuck was Io? Seriously? I have never heard of Io in this myth. Why add her in? What did it achieve? If you wanted a love interest why didn't you stick with Andromeda who was actually, you know, Perseus' wife in the finish?
4) Who the hell were the djinn? Why were they in it? WHAT?
5) Perseus' mother was not the queen. His mother was the daughter of the king, and he wasn't put in that box because daddy hated gods, he was put in that box precisely because grandaddy bloody feared the gods, and even though he'd been told his grandson would one day kill him, he really didn't want to piss Zeus off by killing his son, so he did that instead. Which leads me on to...
6) 'WE HATE AND DEFY THE GODS!!!!!' I nearly laughed myself sick when I realised that was the angle they were driving for. Yeah, because you really would have lasted a long time in Greek mythology by denying the existence of the gods and not thanking them. I again actually start to feel like there's a Christian slant on this whole thing, because it's an utter rejection of the pantheon (even Zeus, who is meant to be the nicey nicey god in this film, which is just - hah! - wrong) and really at the end there is a pro message about Zeus, who is this loving all-knowing father figure to mankind. Yeah...still no. And just... no one ever pissed off the gods and lived to tell the tale.
7) Perseus' rejection of his demi-god status. I know this was in keeping with the 'we hate gods' theme, but it wasn't a bloody choice. Nowhere is there an example of someone choosing their mortal side over their immortal one. You were just an inbetweener, like Achilles or Sarpedon or Heracles. You could do things mortals couldn't and were more likely to have divine help, but it didn't mean you went to live on Mount Olympus and it didn't mean you had to pick one side.
8) Perseus didn't ride Pegasus. He had winged sandals instead. I can more easily forgive them this one though, as it is at least a confusion that dates back to the Renaissance. They got it wrong, but they got it historically wrong.
9) Really, the whole story. It didn't follow the Perseus myth. It was more like 'Perseus the Marine and His Band of Scorpion Killing Comrades Kick the Crap out of Greek Mythology' than 'Perseus'. If you watch this film, do not think it has any bearing on the real story.
And after that whining, the pros:
1) I loved that they put the gods in at all. There's been a tendency in recent ancient epic/history on film to ignore the pantheon completely, and the fact that they did show them all on Olympus was a huge tickbox. Even if Apollo had a spear in the film, not a bow.
2) Medusa was awesome. I mean, I thought it was wonderful how they still managed to make her look so pretty despite all the snakes and how great that whole piece was. You kind of felt sorry for her.
3) Hot men in sandals and skirts. I am shallow, yes. And they were killed off in order of coolness, even if you knew they were all going to die.
4) The music was good. Not remarkable, but solid thriller type music.
5) The locations were amazing - they are just the kind of mythological landscape I wandered about in, in my head as a child.
6) The film was fast-paced and didn't have that overlong feel to it that Troy, 300 and - dare I say it - Alexander did.
To summarise: Don't go expecting anything remotely like the myth, but also don't go just to get annoyed about it. I can forgive this film a lot because both cast and crew said right from the start: this film was never meant to be anything more than entertainment. I can forgive films that say 'look, we weren't trying to make this as accurate as possible, we just wanted to have fun'. That is why I enjoyed 300; it is why I enjoyed this. I was able to squee at the stuff that got put in, and laugh gently at the stuff that didn't. Yes, minor things irritated me, but like I said, it can be forgiven because it wasn't trying to be the best at what it was doing.
On a Classics enjoyment scale: 3/5
Let me get some things off my chest right now with the cons:
1) THERE IS NO KRAKEN IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY! OMG PEOPLE!!! *Headdesks repeatedly* A kraken might have worked in Pirates of the Caribbean (it did, in fact) but just because a myth has the words 'sea monster' in it, doth not a kraken make. Kraken is a Scandinavian construct, not a Greek one.
2) Making Hades the bad guy? Shows an alarming lack of originality. In fact, more than that, it shows an alarming tendency towards Christian thinking. Hades, if this film is to be believed, is synonymous with the devil. He rules the underworld, is evil and commands demons. Um. I mean...just... no. So no. No a million times. Hades in Greek mythology is no better or worse than any other god. Seriously. He really wasn't all 'I WANT TO RULE THE WORLD, TAKE THAT ZEUS!' and he definitely didn't feed off of mortal fear. He didn't command demons, either.
3) Who the fuck was Io? Seriously? I have never heard of Io in this myth. Why add her in? What did it achieve? If you wanted a love interest why didn't you stick with Andromeda who was actually, you know, Perseus' wife in the finish?
4) Who the hell were the djinn? Why were they in it? WHAT?
5) Perseus' mother was not the queen. His mother was the daughter of the king, and he wasn't put in that box because daddy hated gods, he was put in that box precisely because grandaddy bloody feared the gods, and even though he'd been told his grandson would one day kill him, he really didn't want to piss Zeus off by killing his son, so he did that instead. Which leads me on to...
6) 'WE HATE AND DEFY THE GODS!!!!!' I nearly laughed myself sick when I realised that was the angle they were driving for. Yeah, because you really would have lasted a long time in Greek mythology by denying the existence of the gods and not thanking them. I again actually start to feel like there's a Christian slant on this whole thing, because it's an utter rejection of the pantheon (even Zeus, who is meant to be the nicey nicey god in this film, which is just - hah! - wrong) and really at the end there is a pro message about Zeus, who is this loving all-knowing father figure to mankind. Yeah...still no. And just... no one ever pissed off the gods and lived to tell the tale.
7) Perseus' rejection of his demi-god status. I know this was in keeping with the 'we hate gods' theme, but it wasn't a bloody choice. Nowhere is there an example of someone choosing their mortal side over their immortal one. You were just an inbetweener, like Achilles or Sarpedon or Heracles. You could do things mortals couldn't and were more likely to have divine help, but it didn't mean you went to live on Mount Olympus and it didn't mean you had to pick one side.
8) Perseus didn't ride Pegasus. He had winged sandals instead. I can more easily forgive them this one though, as it is at least a confusion that dates back to the Renaissance. They got it wrong, but they got it historically wrong.
9) Really, the whole story. It didn't follow the Perseus myth. It was more like 'Perseus the Marine and His Band of Scorpion Killing Comrades Kick the Crap out of Greek Mythology' than 'Perseus'. If you watch this film, do not think it has any bearing on the real story.
And after that whining, the pros:
1) I loved that they put the gods in at all. There's been a tendency in recent ancient epic/history on film to ignore the pantheon completely, and the fact that they did show them all on Olympus was a huge tickbox. Even if Apollo had a spear in the film, not a bow.
2) Medusa was awesome. I mean, I thought it was wonderful how they still managed to make her look so pretty despite all the snakes and how great that whole piece was. You kind of felt sorry for her.
3) Hot men in sandals and skirts. I am shallow, yes. And they were killed off in order of coolness, even if you knew they were all going to die.
4) The music was good. Not remarkable, but solid thriller type music.
5) The locations were amazing - they are just the kind of mythological landscape I wandered about in, in my head as a child.
6) The film was fast-paced and didn't have that overlong feel to it that Troy, 300 and - dare I say it - Alexander did.
To summarise: Don't go expecting anything remotely like the myth, but also don't go just to get annoyed about it. I can forgive this film a lot because both cast and crew said right from the start: this film was never meant to be anything more than entertainment. I can forgive films that say 'look, we weren't trying to make this as accurate as possible, we just wanted to have fun'. That is why I enjoyed 300; it is why I enjoyed this. I was able to squee at the stuff that got put in, and laugh gently at the stuff that didn't. Yes, minor things irritated me, but like I said, it can be forgiven because it wasn't trying to be the best at what it was doing.
On a Classics enjoyment scale: 3/5