(no subject)
Why is it that whenever I have a brilliant idea that chews my brain up something dreadful for days on end, I am then unable to write it? Seriously. Three different fics I've got stewing at the moment, including the gratuitous Bring Black Back fic; Sinn/Mars fluff and the next chapter of TP. NONE, I repeat, none want to be written. It is beyond frustrating. I've gone through three openings for the BBB fic alone and was about ready to bash my screen in at some point around eleven o'clock last night. Rargh!
Maybe it's because I'm not particularly in love with the fandom any more. I don't know. I mean, I still adore S/R and there are still some excellent fics out there that I read and squee over, but I'm really just not that inspired by HP canon any more either. Quite honestly (and I suspect I may be shot for saying this), JKR is not an amazing writer. There are others out there who are better. But she keeps topping all the 'Best Writer' polls. Best writer does not necessarily = person who made the most money writing, you know. I mean, I really actually prefer Philip Pullman as a children's/teenager's author.
Maybe it's that - I certainly think that's part of it - and maybe it's also to do with writing original fiction. I've noticed OF gets a lot less hits on the web than fanfic, and that's inevitable, because people prefer to read about characters and places they already know. But there is a heck of a lot of good stuff out there, and it's essentially the same as reading a book for free without having to borrow from the library. You get some talented authors and there's actually (surprisingly) a wealth of original slash fic out there.
To name just a couple:
Pam Nunn's Fiction - contains some quite graphic descriptions and the occasional spelling/grammar blip, but on the whole good things to be found.
Uniquely Pleasurable - a relatively big resource for OF.
But beyond that, I really think I'm actually starting to move towards OF myself. I mean, those of you who tend to read most of my stuff will know about The Road To Moonstone, which is really the first piece of OF I've attempted in a long time. Moonstone is important not just because - look! Something actually came out of my brain that isn't just my usual nonsense, but because it's mine, and mine alone. (My preeeeeecioussss.) It's not great and I'm not even going to try and pretend it is, but I absolutely adore the fact that it's something *I* can create and direct myself. I make the canon, not the other way around.
Let's be honest, even writing AU fics we, as fan authors, are still mostly bound by the rules. Ok, so we ignore canon a bit - claim the Marauders never met, or Sirius' mother was actually a centaur or something wacky, but really, we still have to play by the fandom rules to a certain extent. I love and adore fics that really challenge our perceptions of characters and their behaviour/reactions to things, but people can, surprisingly, get really defensive about characterisation. There is a definite stereotype within fandom. Young!Sirius, for example, is often described as extremely puppyish: bouncy, excited, cheerful with an over-obsessive penchant for mischief. Remus appears to adore chocolate, tea, high (muggle) literature and is often represented as something of a Hermione Granger. Deviate from these fandom norms, and you are guaranteed to get someone criticising the alleged 'OOCness' of their favourite character.
Don't get me wrong - I'm probably as guilty as the next person of using the old tried and tested stereotypes, but that doesn't mean I don't applaud loudly whenever someone comes up with a new definition of how (for example) to write Sirius Black.
But despite this; despite the whining anyone who can be bothered has just read, I'm sticking with this ship, albeit quietly for the moment. Yes, I will buy the next HP book; no, I'm really not excited about it - in fact, I'm looking forward to the whole thing actually being finished with. No doubt (and this is another shooting offence) I'll flip straight to the end to find out what happens before going back and reading the whole thing. I won't waste my life worrying about it. I did that a little with HBP and was singularly unimpressed by the whole book. It's just not worth getting mixed up with. I tend to ignore JKR's canon from the end of OoTP onwards, largely because I was so unenamoured with the whole thing. Still, it'll be worth a good giggle or two.
Here's to a hundred more years of fandom, and all that it can offer us, because I might be suffering writer's block; I may not get on with JKR's writing; I may definitely be seeing the benefits of writing original fiction, but something inside of me flatly refuses to quit the puppies. After six years of being in this fandom, with this pairing, I'm not giving up now.
Because it seems that in spite of everything, I'm going down with this ship.